For the first time in the first class. How it is correct to adjust the child?
Only yesterday your child was the kid radiating pleasure. Or, according to psychologists, lived in the period of carefree sangvinistichesky temperament. And all life for it - game. Infinity. Immortality. And near at hand always those who will understand, will help, will settle: mummy, daddy, grandmother, grandfather, nurse.
Tomorrow it already - the school student. And it not simply replaced the kindergarten building with the schoolhouse. It entered another - oriented on social values - life. And all in this life - responsibility, discipline, diligence, ability to share with the neighbor - or the neigbour - on a school desk, to turn failure into a victory … In a word, everything in this new life will demand from our kid difficult - sometimes dramatic - tension.
And the more so dramatic that our life as tell spirituality, “entered a finish stage“. That is endures crash of all the organisms. Economies, societies, values fall. The mankind loses former confidence in what is good and that is bad at all. The nature, talking some sense into him, bursts in unprecedented cataclysms: floods, fires, earthquakes, hurricanes, diseases, thawing of the Arctic glaciers, infinite local accidents. Wars, terror, cruelty, aggression, hatred.
In such world the person has nothing to lean. Only on. A task - unsoluble for children`s sincere forces. And, of course, it is a high time for the loving parent to think seriously, than it is possible to help the kid.
In such very daunting business even you should not hope for simple decisions. Let`s try to allocate the most vulnerable point of children`s mentality - fear.
About children`s fears the psychological science wrote darkness of volumes, conducted one million researches, created thousands of the most various theories. Fear - the most powerful factor in formation of the personality. The most artful enemy of creativity. And, even if the child grows in a normal family, but parents were accustomed to reproach him from time to time: “you silly“, “you are a clumsy“, “you are just incorrigible liar“, “you have not hands, and hooks“, even such, it seems, innocent phrases, generated in soul of the child feeling of lameness, fear of any independent act, uncertainty in own forces. Such personality, psychologists claim, it is capable to realize itself no more, than for 10%.
You wish a similar fate to the kid? Is not present?! Then for work! We begin - with ourselves.
In private with itself, it is better at night - it is realistic and is thoughtful - thumb through life of the child. From the first shout at childbirth (what it was this shout: pobeditelno - triumphing or similar to weak groan?) till this evening when, having wished you good night, your kid - joyfully ran? sadly trudged? - to the bed.
Try and remember everything! As the child developed, than was ill as he learned to read, shy he or the squabbler, clever or not really, with enthusiasm plays with age-mates or loves silent lonely games. Remember. Estimate. Analyze. Do not feel sorry for efforts. Expand this work. Competently study a horoscope of the kid. Especially rare - Egyptian - the horoscope lighting a dark side of the personality. Weigh weak and strengths of the beloved child. Consider them without baby talk, soberly, really, strictly. Be not afraid to recognize own mistakes and their consequences. Track logic in development of character of the child. Allocate its vulnerable points.
See in the kid not a toy, not rescue from loneliness, and - the personality. Unique work of the nature. Human phenomenon, separate of you. From which neither you, nor future teacher have no right to mold the duplicate of the personality. Especially to do it - violently. Suppressing an inner world of the child.
Having done this work, we will estimate tactics of the educational measures. It will be reduced to one: to strengthen self-respect of the child and fearlessness before life. Opportunities in this work - darkness.
It is possible to begin with simple. Behind evening tea or walk with a favourite dog tell the child about own school . About the first teacher. About the first failure or a victory. Introduce model of the human qualities winning big and small failures in consciousness of the kid. But! Be not persuasive and verbose. You remember: your child is clever and sensitive. Do not turn reminiscence into morals. On the contrary! Remember yourself the child, plunge with the son or the daughter into this general for you - the Toy Store.
And it is possible to invite on the next Sunday the kid to visit his school . Make it! Show to the child future class. Toilet. Explain rules of school life. Remember the school friends. As they helped out you. And as you helped out them. Tell the kind word about school - lifelong - friendship. At the same time consult to future first grader what satchel, notebooks, handles he would like to buy. Go with it to shop and together buy this wealth. Remember! In these walks, purchases, communication with you the child has to acquire two things. The most difficult for mentality of the kid: about freedom of personal opinion and borders of a personal liberty.
One more important point: help the child to choose the hero . And not the hero of the American movies, bastard, armed cap-a-pie. Take, for example, Danila from Bazhov`s fairy tales. With his conscientiousness, love to the native land and favourite craft … Read the child other good books. Excite him an impressionability. Irritate dreams. Throw a courage spark into heart. The good hero - the great help in maturing of the best sincere forces of the person.
And - the most important. Will burst the first of September, the child will shoulder the satchel bought with you, pat it shoulder, smile, tell simple words: “I believe in you! Forward, my hero!“
I let this minute of sincere faith in the child will remain between you a lifelong reference point!