Rus Articles Journal

About what crayfish and where they winter whistle? Khayyam about a lobster of

In not translated version of the risharovsky movie “Prick Umbrella“ the hero who is badly speaking in English tries to pay a compliment to appearance of the interlocutor - the Hindu. He asks:

- As will be a lobster in English?

- the Lobster...

- Aha! You are beautiful as the Lobster Sharif!

Here all say that in proverbs and sayings popular wisdom is hidden. Let`s dare to doubt? I personally afforded. Also revealed national nonsense. OK, bad knowledge... Therefore I speak: never never speak! Always doubt.

We precisely learn, when pigs fly, when we find where they winter: what is “there will be jam tomorrow“? And it - when pigs fly. That is never. So the people claim. But the same people stirred something about three elephants, three whales, now stir about feng shui... And crayfish whistle, and in what a way! And I precisely know where they winter - here the address: in 20 miles from the coast of the State of Maine, the USA. Island Matinikus. There lobsters - lobsters winter. There for Putin average of rakol earns over two hundred thousand dollars!

In general on a ball of a rakolova do business on lobsters, trepangs, spiny lobsters, langoustines for 1 billion dollars a year! Sea crayfish, they as at Zhvanetsky: small on three, and big on five. But there is only no category for them “yesterday“. They have to be on - Bulgakov only the first freshness!

(For a live dog it is indecent to put the tail between the legs, and for a lobster - a spiny lobster very much even: the healthy sea crayfish immediately turns off a tail under himself. And if he does not put the tail between the legs, then such proud it is better overboard - the patient it is some.)

The European lobsters, though on five, but small. The thickest hardly on half a kilo will veil. And ours though in general it is too expensive, but big. Well very big. And only today. Ordinary differently over a kilogram, and there are giants to 13 - 15 kg!

Lobsters are expensive around the world - the most refined delicacy of the seas, a symbol of gastronomic luxury, food of the gods... Continue, frets? And just imagine what them was not eaten till the 17th century in Evropakh. And in 17 - 18 centuries of their fir-tree only any Lui and Anzhui. (Though poor Peruvians ancient treskal of lobsters with might and main. Both on the first, and on the second, and to deities in the form of a gift.) Even for those who got used to read the menu only from left to right, and not vice versa, the price on lobsters is never put down: foggy “market price“ on weight is written. But I promised to treat you with a lobster, fine as Omar Sharif from “Zhivago“. (So the Russian restaurant in the village of Skoka in Chicago is called. There the menu reads our people only from left to right - are able to walk.)

Who caught crawfishes, to no - Hau knows: rachevnya and a bait, it is desirable podzavonyavshayasya. Lobsters are caught in the same way - a cage - a trap overboard with a nominal float and - eyes yes of a glazonka that did not take away a catch. (On an island Matinikus where crayfish winter, reaches firing business - strangers steal from local islanders of a cage.) Yes, the main thing - that was also forgotten: to spit on a bait - that! Spat amicably good luck. And who does not trust in saliva, that also cunning priborchik with record as cancer whistles will fit to a cage. With record of a svistelka about “Come to eat with me“.

Sea crayfish - the interesting people. Though at us here the institute of a lobsterovedeniye is also created, scientists of these creatures know few. They only how to eat them understand. But it is already precisely known that a lobster - the gregarious companion that he communicates with collective whistle. It is not greedy - itself will find what to eat, right there will whistle short moustaches to colleagues: pull hard, friends. Madam Starokhamskaya very precisely noticed that at us on the website people for communication by short moustaches are felt: in the same way lobsters short moustaches feel the ladies during omary rutting. Short moustaches they also dance in love to a heat - remember kerollovsky Alice and a quadrille of lobsters... Short moustaches they also talk in an amicable way and on - bad. (On - bad precisely talk - not for nothing in claw aquariums a wire connect by it - are ready to fight.)

And here to winter leave very interestingly: migrate huge communities, sometimes to 100 thousand companions at once. On mobilization point the kingpin is elected - he knows where it is necessary to all of them, and will be the leader. Our leader dashingly showers the moustaches back, claws clings to these moustaches conducted which, in turn, too dashingly showers moustaches for the third companion back. And so the huge live chain of lobsters is built. And here they scratch a chain with a speed up to 12 km a day - My God, this what show has to be!

It is clear, that this tasty sausage attracts predatory sea fans of a delicious landing - a moving magic tablecloth! But here at our lobster the collective brain joins: all sausage in a trice is turned in a spiral and on a circle bristles up a paling of claws. Whistle costs just as at Cowboys and Indians - will not seem a little if only not fish - a sword (that the gray wolf is not terrible - she in cabbage a sword will chop them).

It is interesting that when the collective brain joins, own it is switched off at a lobster completely. The lobster who dropped out of a chain loses orientation, spins on the place and easily falls prey of a predator. But collective too not a bast board: the chain quickly puts such become stupid lobster in a system. One for all, all - for one. And correctly do - the lobster in the seas - oceans gets exhausted. I would forbid for few years trade absolutely. We will live without delicacies.

But it is still possible, it is better to do as I: it is simple to hunt with ostrogy for a lobster. What it is necessary for us? Flippers, mask, jail, bag. And forward - on reeves. Be going to dive on depth of 5 - 7 meters - on shoal the lobster is not found. (The dining room at them somewhere at a depth from 5 meters to 3700 meters). We dive, misters? And now God grant good reaction: the lobster instantly feels approach of the diver. And at once shmyg in reeves, in a mink where like hell you will get it. And from there whistles to a polundr. Therefore my council will not strike ostrogy sharply from a dive, and to hang over a thigh and to look round quietly to which of crayfish to shelter far away. This - that is sharply overturned ostrogy on a back and we strike in a paunch. Any more on this place you will take nothing - it is possible to emerge and pack a lobster in a bag. And it is careful among reeves - you steer clear of them, surface especially.

And now I will tell you it from what the jimjams will go: in nazi (!!!) Germany was forbidden to cook the law of a lobster alive! Already is not present Duch, but in some provinces of Italy alive can fine up to 500 euros for cooking of Crustacea. We think at restaurants of a sifud a little of how our lobster is welded, - foggy “market price“ on the right in the menu concerns more. And there are people on the planet to whom not all the same whether the lobster physically suffers from pain. In 2006 the scientist Simon Bakheven offered the preparation Krustastan for an instant painless lulling to slip of lobsters. Now lobsters are elektroshokat by of 110V. But you tell it to the suicide bomber on “Green mile“ that the lethal injection is more humane than an electric chair.

Therefore I prefer for a lobster man`s death from jails. And live lobsters I alive do not cook - I do hypertensive solution of salt and I keep the poor creature minutes in it 15. A salty zakipyacha with spices to abrupt boiled water and a sleepy lobster at once sharply on a bottom oppression I press down water. It is ashamed and is a pity, but though so, but not alive. I determine readiness of a lobster besides by short moustaches - if the mustache was easily pinched off, the delicacy is ready.

Well there is to a lobster a kindled butter with the squeezed-out garlic. Do not listen to anybody that only the tail and claws is edible - there inside under an armor of a lot of things tasty still it is possible to dig up, even all 27 million berries under a paunch at a samochka are edible. Under a lobster the tart young cooled wine about which Omar Khayyam so beautifully wrote will well go:

Catch pleasures and greedy drink

wine Life is short, alas...
I Suspect

that under catching of pleasures the old man meant catching of lobsters. I dream to see sometime in life with own eyes a chain of lobsters of 100 thousand sea crayfish, but it hardly - only when pigs fly...