Adopted child. And whether it is necessary to fall in love with it how native? Whether
A it is necessary to try to fall in love with the adopted child how the? Perhaps, you will throw stones at me now, but I all - will share the reasons. We with the husband came to one conclusion - is not obligatory at all.
Why? And why in general we about it reflected and got to talking?
After I became mother to three more children, reception (and all now at me five: three sons and two daughters), I began to write on all forums and the websites on adoption. And people generally accept me well, and support this subject and understand. Both encourage, and tell everyone good, like “You the heroine!“, “You are an excellent person! But I so could not …“.
Of course, it is pleasant to listen to it, but I passed in the life such fire and such water that copper pipes for me - so … some kettles … I am not afraid! I will also be farther “advertizing“ to orphans to do, naturally, only because (you will not believe!) it yields the fruits!
The main argument “I will not be able, probably“ at all is same. Percent eighty interlocutors say that are not sure that they will be able to fall in love with the stranger as the blood child .
And here I think and is it necessary - to weigh it on scales a measure of the love, to take a thermometer its temperature, to check for quality in laboratory?
Ask me whether I love these new children the same as the. I do not know. I do not know how to learn it how to compare it and to measure. To whom to the first I would offer a hand to pull out from a hole? Whom would close a breast? I would not choose. It precisely.
For what we adopt foreign child why and for what purpose? Assumptions:
do not have the children.
Yes, the most, probably, frequent. And there are no questions. Just each normal and family, and lonely person needs children. Let`s say such person then, in several years, will have also the by some miracle. By the way, so very often also occurs. Probably, the Lord spits on all medical indications and grants one more child for self-complacency of the childless, allegedly, parent.
Whether there will be this person after it - that events (!) to love the adopted child it is less? It is unlikely.
to become well-known and popular. To collect eternal praises in the address. So in a face nobody almost told
to me, but I know, that which - who and thinks. I calm such a counter question: and is farther what?
At once at adoption registration I wrote in the questionnaire of the adoptive father in the Center that I do not agree to covering of this event in any press. We are disturbed by neither newspapers, nor television.
So benefit at me what? If about me personally - I can become famous today only unique - to become the popular writer, readable, so, receiving and some material benefit. But it is possible only theoretically - I began to write the rasskazik at such already serious age, I estimate the level of “endowments“ sensibly, and, in general, with self-criticism at me everything is all right, with ambitions slightly - is slightly higher than an average, and the purpose to be enriched at me both was not, and is not present. I also am able to earn by another a living not bad.
to be enriched at the expense of children`s grants. It in general is ridiculous and silly
. Drunks and needy (absolutely needy) adopted children will not be given. And to another, the normal working and not drinking person, these grants - just legenky financial support: on journey to school and back, for breakfasts, on purchase of underwear. In total! And to adopted children we at once granted the same rights in all that also the: they are registered in our house, they are equal successors if something happens.
, let us assume, to hold the spouse.
also such versions Were b> (my husband is much younger than me). Those who are familiar with me (and with the husband), perfectly understand that personally it does not concern me - I will leave with any number of children if I understand that love - carrots, syus - pus ended or if I was betrayed. Children are not the main glue in the marriage relations.
That in old age someone gave to a glass of water.
What nonsense! Unless you have no neighbor or the girlfriend who is much closer you than the blood relative?! To which you will tell all the secrets, and blood - do not bring, the Lord that learned about them though a grammulka. And those who exactly waits for it from the child, most likely and alas, will not receive not that a glass of water, and and a drink. And maybe pendelya by an old age to earn, alas.
to pray for forgiveness the sins.
the Version popular among grandmas who go to church, but do not know the law God`s. I sins have, unfortunately, a great variety. Except “do not kill“, perhaps, little by little tried all. Oh, no, and it was. On a confession only learned about a pregnancy interruption sin. There was shock!
If for this purpose to do good and tick off in a notebook, the sin can only be increased. And I do not wait for indulgences from God at all, to me still as will get! Not always you reap what you sow, of course, but all - everyone will receive the. And everyone was given test on forces. It is no more, it is not less.
So, sinned a lot - go on a confession, but not to the nearest children`s home. All the same all ways conduct to the temple. So begin with it.
to immortalize the well-known surname.
A they at us are? Really still remained in the former Soviet Union of the SURNAME? And what? And whether it is necessary to immortalize them? Well, I allow some percent, well 0,001 percent. To me too 102 - the summer grandma of Kornilov told in a whisper when I still was a pioneer that the famous white general - her cousin. But, in - the first, it is only fairy tale babkina, and in - the second, I do not know it. Perhaps he was simply - a Saint person, or perhaps it is better for me to keep silent not to be dishonored?
Well, also I come back by the beginning of the reflections. Some (and there is a lot of such people), who already has blood children, drop a hint of doubt concerning whether THEIR children will be able to accept STRANGERS , not to be jealous, not to envy, not to revenge.
Well, listen if the situation, God forbid, comes to they are draw conclusions: you incorrectly brought up the child, in him there is no compassion to another, needing. So, urgently take the adopted child to correct the relations with the. Such person, at what your child grows now, will not have compassion to anybody including to you.
I tortured the children before adoption whether they agree now to have the benefits twice, and even it is three times less. It is necessary to be spent both for products, and on clothes is much more economical. Agreed and were even surprised to the question. As an example - this year we could not go to holiday. Did not live richly, there is nothing and to get used …
So for what and why people adopt the child?
the Real reason - to give someone chance it is not simple to b to pad down in a shelter and then somehow to drag the existence for a salary of the mechanic or weaver (the profession available upon termination of “children`s home“ technical training colleges), to quietly become an inveterate drunkard, hand over the incidentally acquired children in the orphanages which became the family, and grow up in usual human conditions and to seek to become such as mother and the father. Or perhaps it is even a hundred times better.
And why it is necessary to fall in love how the how someone? your NEW child will fall in love with you so that you will be able just to reciprocate to him. And he will love you not for caviar sandwiches and branded jeans. Even with kefir and the trousers worn by the brother will love not less for potato.
Still wanted to raise the questions “And suddenly there will be FAMILY mother with the father?“ and “And suddenly will grow and will begin to look for the family“ . Let looks for. Help even to it. From it it will only be better for all in every respect. And will begin to love you in that case much stronger.
And concerning care of the state, I think, all will agree with me. Here you personally as think, you are necessary to the state? You and your child? Not in lump, and how the person? Ridiculously? Yes you are also necessary only to the parents or children! And these are to nobody at all are necessary . There are they or not what in principle a difference …
does not wait for profit on this investment of the soul! The soul has no size, be not greedy, put. You will not regret.