You still take offense?
When I ceased to take offense, I ceased to be offended.
You will tell: it does not happen. As it is possible not to take offense when touched for “ live “? If to understand offense origin sources, then, I believe, there will be no need to take offense.
So what in us sits it that does not allow us to forgive?
To forgive - means not to leave a deposit in the soul, to continue to communicate freely with the person. Or, if you want, not to communicate in general, but at the same time not to remember it the good word, that is to belong neutrally.
- The hurt pride.
did not estimate as we wanted it, or just unfairly accused. But we - that know that not such and bad. Here also we torment ourselves with thoughts and damnations to the offender. “ We Gnaw “ the soul, assuring itself of correctness. And whether it is worth proving to himself obvious? I think, all will agree that this useless occupation. Everyone already knows the own worth. Well, and condemned you it is possible just to tell: “ I am sorry that you so think of me “ “ I am afflicted that we did not understand each other “. And especially not to underestimate the self-assessment.
Try, having rejected feeling of own superiority, to take the part of the partner. You remember: not in pride strength of the person, and in his generosity. The offender himself, as a rule, realizes that he got excited.
- Inability to accept the facts concerning themselves.
For example, speak to you: “ You were late for work. You made a mistake. You have a bad mood. You eat much. You thick “. You are angry, without wishing to accept valid. Learn to answer “ yes “. The same “ yes “ any reproaches in your party concern. As you think whether interestingly will be to the interlocutor you “ to sting “ and whether it for a long time will be enough when you agree with everything?
- Unjustified expectations. Quite often we expect
from the person of the certain actions, acts, words absolutely not inherent in it owing to peculiar traits of character, a step, education, education …, taking offense at non-execution decided by us. Try to look at everything objectively, without imagining what is not present.
- Wrong perception.
On different people the same situation makes different impact. Business at all not in the one who also made that told and as we reacted as apprehended information. The quiet perception without irritation is only business everyday “ trainings “. And, in fact, ourselves make the decision to be offended. As often speak: “ Take offense at yourself … “. In difficult situations repeat to yourself: “ I love myself and I will not begin to offend “.
And when once again you want to take offense, think: is it pleasant to feel sorry for himself and to feel as the victim. The predator always feels weak and attacks it. You do not wish to be eaten?! Perhaps nevertheless you are the winner who rose over a situation and independent of circumstances! Not for nothing in the people speak: “ On offended water carry “. Not really there is a wish, the truth?
It is known that offense - a condition of our soul. Soul - a well from which we drink. What source of a satisfying of thirst we present ourselves and others? Protect the storage, the source of life. Live with a smile, without taking offense!