Whip or gingerbread? Understanding and justice!
of Each parent the question of the correct education of the charming cubs interests. And as it is difficult to choose tactics of education of children, too everyone knows best of all on light!
To be a tender, friendly, vseponimayushchy parent - here for what we are called by various printing editions, and not only they.
Sometimes, having read all these councils, I begin day with “ blank sheet “. I try to be exemplary in everything - indicative mother … You know what it as a result leads to?
Quite right, my charming kids turn … So, kids turn … In big shown “ zubastik “ and - yes, those zubastik from horror films. Begin to behave even worse, than before! They, of course, do not gnaw through a neck, but here sit down on it thoroughly and for a long time! What? This situation is familiar to you too? Well, then hi, my companion in misfortune! Perhaps we will unite the forces?
I get up with the children on one level, following all advice of wise techniques, but it leads only to accidents, offenses, shouts and a nervous breakdown. At the same time children absolutely cease to perceive me as mother as the person to whose opinion it is necessary to listen.
I now - the FRIEND! I can call, not to obey, my presence does not prevent to do now that they want … The list of various mischief can be continued and continued … That is, the promised wonderful transformation into ideal mother and children does not happen! Specifically on my children “ gingerbread “ education methods do not work at all. Well, and my question: “ As to raise children? “ - and remains only a question …
From all councils I acquired only one. To the child it is necessary to listen, try to understand HIS VIEW of things. But it is not obligatory to agree with it at all, to it will be enough and the fact that you just listened to his opinion! I think that, acting this way, we will be able to cultivate independence of foreign opinion in the children. It will freely express the thoughts and not to be afraid that they will be rejected by society.
And still it is necessary to treat children fairly. You should not impose bans on everything stupidly. On my own supervision, we it only provoke the children to disobedience. It is worth approaching each question flexibly. To look at current situation not only with own eyes, but also the child`s eyes. It will be so simpler and explain him something and to choose the correct compromise. In dialogue between the parent and the child, in my opinion, force of our education is covered!
As far as all of us know, children imitate our behavior and a manner to communicate. Take a detached view of the child! How it plays? And how communicates with other children? Looked? You saw yourself! Quite so you look in his eyes! He got used to see your such behavior. He got used to hear such intonation! And the worse we behave, the more we complain about the disobedient, rested children.
Of course, I can be mistaken in the supervision. I am not a psychologist and not the teacher. But it helped me to find contact with the kids. Since then I constantly analyze the acts, the speech. The behavior of children, of course, did not become ideal, but nevertheless noticeable improvements are observed.
To the fact that to flog the child it is simply useless, I came a trial and error method too. Somehow time I thus punished the daughter for what she, slowly, peeled day by day “ svezhepokleenny “ wall-paper in the hall. You think, something changed it? No. Both peeled, and continued to peel, just smaller portions … And here I began to analyze again: “ Why? “ Yes because she did not look for them, did not buy, did not glue! Did not put the forces, efforts, emotions! Remember when at your child in a sandbox someone breaks the kulichik constructed by him how it reacts? To put it mildly, not really … Then I made the decision that we will stick the holes peeled by it on wall-paper together. Worse all the same will not be any more! Since then our wall-paper lived quietly …
Well, and now I, by the way, am going to glue wall-paper with the grown-up sonny Vladik.
So if you tried a heap of methods on education, and nothing helped you, then try also my method. At least, it is worse from it will definitely not be. And suddenly, and will help you?
I wish all of you good luck in this difficult field!