Rus Articles Journal

What laughed during a stagnation era at? Who is more senior than

- that remembers and who does not remember, that probably heard that during an era of blossoming of stagnation of the developed socialism the concept of deficiency was the most burning.

Everything was deficiency: in free access there was neither cotton wool, nor a pants elastic, nor mayonnaise, nor children`s tights, nor nails, nor notebooks, nor furniture sets, nor the impregnated cross ties, nor violet ink, nor tickets for the ballet, nor diapers, nor a corn plaster. Yes what misses, nothing was.

But there were two things which in that nostalgic time was enough. These are propaganda brochures Propagandist`s Notebook and... jokes .

To tell them it was unsafe. Till some time could shoot for a joke, and even in more vegetarian time of thaw and stagnation - to expel from institute (to me the real case is known) or to cause where it is necessary and there it is unpleasant to warn.

I nevertheless, jokes was a set. And they as lightning flash, for a short instant, but in the smallest details show us all picture of that time.

At what the person of new type, the representative of the advanced formation of classless society laughed?

Over everything.

In particular, and over deficiency of all at socialism :

- What will be if in the Sahara to construct socialism?

- There will begin interruptions in sand.

In " shop; " Meat;:

- Please, kilogram of meat! there is no

- Meat.

- But on your shop is written " Meat;!

- is You never know written! At me on a shed it is written ... and there firewood!

- What was earlier - chicken or egg?

- was everything Earlier!

And over bad quality of the Soviet goods:

- What is it - puffs, and in... does not push?

- the New Soviet car for pushing in....

And over panel new buildings:

the Owner shows to the sat-up guest the apartment.

- And it that it? - the guest asked, having seen a copper basin on a wall.

are a speaking hours.

-?? the Owner took

the hammer and struck in a basin.

- Two o`clock in the morning... your mother! - reached from - for walls.

And over narrowness:

- For small-sized apartments will introduce a novelty: a chamber-pot with the handle inside.

And over mossy Soviet ideology:

- our progressive paralysis - the most progressive in the world.

Conversation in a newsstand:

- Truth is? there is no

-...

- Russia is?

- Sold...

- A Culture ? there is no

- Long ago...

- And what you have?

Work for three kopeks.

(" newspaper; Work really cost 3 kopeks) .

A popular slogan was To Catch up and overtake America . But at the same time lecturers constantly explained that America goes down the drain...

- And what will be when we overtake it?

In the museum of revolution:

- And it is Chapayev`s skeleton in the childhood...

And over aged members of the Politburo:

- Why Brezhnev went abroad, and Andropov did not?

- Because Brezhnev was on batteries, and Andropov - from a network.

The announcer of TV in the middle of 80 - x:

- Dear companions! You will laugh, but Chernenko died too.

Odessa, court yard. The salute roar is in the distance distributed. The window opens, the inhabitant asks:

- And that there it?

- Brezhnev arrived.

the Window is closed. One more volley is distributed. The resident leans out again.

- And now that?

- Say to you, Brezhnev arrived.

- And what, from the first did not get?

And over ostochertely sensation concerning different anniversaries:

- on the occasion of century of Lenin the people responded a series of jokes about anniversary goods To a universal sensation and vanity: " vodka; Lenin in flood " liverwurst; Member of the government " candies; Anniversary toffee cologne Lenin spirit " powder; Ilyich`s Ashes " soap; in Lenin places three-sleeping bed Lenin with us . The Bakovsky plant of rubber products producing condoms let out to Krupskaya`s anniversary - the product Put on - . And so on.

And over semiliterate deputies:

XVII congress of Komsomol. The next deputy, as usual acts - reads on a piece of paper:

- When the party sent me on x... Secretaries whisper

each other:

- warned, do not write them with 17 Roman figures!

Laughed and that was difficult to leave the USSR , it is almost impossible. Leaving hundred times checked: whether they are reliable whether they will take in head to become defectors . Because to leave the most remarkable country in the world with the most fair system very many wanted.

... Sidorov in business trip went abroad. Suddenly from it the telegram: I chose freedom . As usual - the meeting, collective amicably condemns the traitor - the defector. The door opens, Sidorov enters:

- is interesting how you understood me?

The announcement in the newspaper: I Will lease 50 cm state. borders .

And even laughed at landings of dissidents and dissidents too:

Telegram: Gurevich is not necessary and does not lie .

And whether much such joke will understand young people here:

Telephone conversation:

- you already ate up beef?

- we Eat up.

- When you will eat up, give to Volodya.

this joke was clear In those days to everyone, and he meant that someone reads up the self-published or tamizdatovsky book of Solzhenitsyn The calf with an oak " Butted; and having read up, has to transfer to the following. Phones were quite often wiretapped.

And, fortunately, not all can already estimate such sad joke:

the Soviet Union launched the satellite. And behind it - one more, with a dog.

(It is meant: that the first did not run away...)

But it is impossible to capture in a short sketch all richness and a variety of the Soviet anekdotny folklore, of course. Unfortunately, many remarkably ridiculous jokes had to be excluded from consideration because of the use of unparliamentary expressions. But also what is rather eloquently show as far as everything was through impregnated with hypocrisy and lie around:

- Wan, and Wan what is the counter plan?

- Well how to you, Manya to explain?. Here, say, you speak to me: Give, Vanyusha, two times today! and I to you - the counter plan: No, Man, give three! Though both of us know what even one sense will not leave!

There were also champions among jokes. For example, the shortest: Pro-created . And the longest - Way to communism ...

Epilog.

I Warn at once: the person interested to deviate aside and but now became so - and so - it is bad I offer in advance to write about it separate article. The amazing number of readers cannot understand in any way that it is not necessary to become attached to article about any realities of the past with the conclusions about the present. Especially as the past at all readers of a resource the general (that is the USSR), and the present - a miscellaneous, at all today`s whimpers separate dissatisfied with life in certain places are interesting not to all.

my subject - reflection of an era of stagnation in jokes. Also it would be nice it and to adhere , but not to be distracted by all the rest that is not pleasant to someone...