Why people speak to us “ Is not present “?
All of us in life should meet sooner or later (and it is rather early, than late) unwillingness of some people to agree with our opinion. The stronger we want what refuse to us, the it is more difficult to take out refusal. We could talk, of course, about technicians of belief of favourite which would help to believe that what it is refused, was not too necessary. But each new refusal which we accepted with unwillingness generates others. The person gets used to hear the word “ is not present “ in response to the requests and offers, and thereof to become unconvincing. So people increase the chances that will refuse to them.
Let`s look on “ row “ in quotes) the reasons for which people are inclined to refuse to us. Subsequently, when we need to increase our chances of hearing treasured “ DA “ we will just try to consider points of this list.
1. We incorrectly asked.
2. … All! There is no second point! (Unless: “ If refused to us, then watch the " point first;.)
It is wrong to ask, it:
1. To be sure insufficiently that our request will be satisfied moreover and will thank for it.
2. To be sure that wait for our offer how miracle, and at the same time not to do anything that it was a real miracle (or to do a little for this purpose).
3. To offer doubtful things, at the same time without dispelling doubt, even own.
The word " is frequent; Is not present “ - a secret door which the person uses to run away. If we do not want to hear this word in the address, then it is necessary to become that world to which it is possible to run away, and the request (the offer, a wish) to make that treasured door.
To be successful, the words “ yes “ or “ is not present “ it is necessary to perceive not as alternative decisions for the person whose opinion is important and as reaction of this person to you and your actions. Means, it is necessary to consider individual properties of the one who makes decisions.
Fact of common knowledge: children, as a rule, will not begin to ask something from the parents if they understand that those are in bad mood. Adult children sometimes arrive less circumspectly and do not choose time for the requests. What to tell about such factors as offer value; alternative decisions for this purpose who accepts the offer; preferences and wishes of the party considering offers if even the mood of that whom we address often is not considered.
“ Is not present “ speak also those who got used to refuse. If you know about such features of the person for whose arrangement you wait, then there is only one decision - be original. Let though for a second the one who before you, will forget about everything, even about the habit to refuse. Start up an entrance all the charm and the most nonconventional means, for example, sense of smell (we will tell to pay the SINCERE and TRUTHFUL compliment: “ Oh, as here here smells delicious, you probably perfectly prepare! “).
As soon as second came, use it! The first had opportunity for receiving a consent should be accepted as a reason for the further movement towards unconditional desire to cry out “ Yes! “ all attendees at your offer. (That is if you, say, on the street do to the young beauty the offer of a hand and heart, then it has to sound so convincingly and work so quickly to exclaim “ YES! “ not only the janitor cleaning autumn foliage near you but also the passerby who is running in the driving-off bus could.)
Refused to you because you incorrectly asked … Perhaps, would not refuse if not you asked. From there is key conclusion: it is necessary to ask as well as to give (on a proverb) that it was possible to take.
And still, you remember that when you want to hear “ yes “ you not so much ask (even if you ask) how many you wait for reaction of the person. Therefore do not behave as “ applicant “ and always, as if you are a winner! (So it also is, the truth?)