What is “ feminity training “?
What means to be womanly? For me as for young mother, this question was developed more globally: what means to be a woman? Whether I for myself can put an equal-sign between the concepts “ mother “ and “ woman “?
During thoughts over these questions I made for myself small discovery: it appears, expression “ womanly woman “ not such a tautology as it seems at first sight. In general, obtaining answers to all these questions gained for me special sharpness then when time to come back to society, to habitual life, from a child care leave came. When again there was a wish to become interesting and attractive to the husband and not only …
Often happens so that it is worth realizing any requirement as unusual coincidence begins to happen, to appear the interesting opportunities promoting satisfaction of the arisen inquiry. So happened to me and this time. With all the questions and thoughts I appeared on the psychological training devoted to feminity.
Phrase “ feminity training “ caused a large number of amusing associations, for example, quality of feminity was presented in the form of a muscle which it is necessary to pump up, therefore, the room where there will take place occupations, has to look as a peculiar gym. Here only where is “ feminity muscle “ and how it can be pumped up?
Movable by curiosity, I come to the first occupation. Acquaintance to group brought huge feeling of surprise: mine “ classmates “ there were very beautiful and socially successful women. Having met such woman on the street, never you will think that it can be in search of the answer to a question of feminity too.
Extraordinary similar were expectations from training and the reason of emergence on occupation of participants. Process of dissolution of became the general for all the reason: someone in business, someone in science or a family - and desire to understand who I am now that I can and where my personal source of female force.
At discussion of that it “ feminity “ with surprise I find out that for me “ feminity “ - lack of coercion in the choice of behavioural models at preservation of comfortable, cordial relations with people around. In other words, I want - I run with the vacuum cleaner on the apartment, and I want - I write article, and nobody condemns me for the choice of sequence of affairs, to change it forces!
To understand and the more so to accept the female qualities, unfortunately, sometimes happens very not easy. How to realize itself the beautiful woman if in a family, for example, it was often told - “ Beauty is not happiness “ automatically confirming fears of the girl in the ugliness? Or became the phrase defining the vital scenario of future woman here such: “ Beauty for the woman not the main thing: study, the daughter! “?
It is possible to begin acquaintance to itself with idea of what wants to be what to be pleasant and interesting, from an internal image of. It is possible to go some other way, to begin acquaintance with the image in the opinion of people around: what me is seen by surrounding people? It is possible even to set the direction for images, to find itself among which it would be especially pleasant or informative, or it is just curious, at last.
For example, “ If I was a rain, then what? “ “ If I was an animal, then what? “ “ If I was clothes, then what? “. When you receive lots of images of, you begin to sort carefully it, involuntarily reflecting: and what all this means to me? What the general between a big lazy black cat and alerted with the hunting wolf? About what my female qualities tell these images? In “ clothes “ images with a big separation the classical strict suit of dark color buttoned on all buttons is in the lead. It is curious that among business suits for me the dress of the Snow queen, which too, it seems, about me was absolutely lost.
Images of subjects are also good that the palette of shades of the meanings drawn from them can be extraordinary big. What I? Flexible, how a cat, clever how a wolf and planing how the first teacher in a business suit? Or I sexual, how a cat, predatory how a wolf, it is also dazzling beautiful how the Snow queen? And maybe, I soft, as cat, and gentle, as blind summer rain!
Unusually difficult, it appears, to recognize the right to be different! All this about me, all this I! I can be such! And that the most surprising, people around see all these qualities in me.
Now most important: to inform the house of as a fine crystal bowl, without having spilled new feelings on the road, and not to be blown off at home, having heard habitual from the husband: “ Well, you at me not Klava Shiferova, of course … “.
I came home as the Queen … any a top - models did not stand nearby, and (on his happiness) even did not come to the husband to mind me to anybody to compare. Because I am incomparable and unique!
I spent two days off for training and I am not sorry about it at all. Of course, I realize that for profound and steady changes of an image of two-day even if very serious work, it is not enough. For maintenance of these changes there are regular group meetings at which it is possible to share new achievements, to ask and get support and just to communicate to interesting interlocutors.