Rus Articles Journal

How to disorganize a family? (We train the husband for leaving)

Time to scatter stones, and time to collect stones; time to embrace, and time to evade from embraces . Ecclesiastes (3, 5).

Article was conceived slightly earlier, but the comment received to published became a push to acceleration of process:

Perhaps and mine you will force to leave me, and that in 40 years both zakoldobitsya together in own juice. To it on pension soon, in exactly in time article will approach - to and fro will stay at home near by. And me watch the whole day at this business!

A so, maybe, what molodukha will find. And I am still an aunty though where!

And if were the doubt in usefulness conceived earlier, then this statement (I am not afraid of this word!) approved me in the decision. So, we will start scattering of stones.

Situation: everything cooled down, everything is cold, is even frosty, and nothing changes. On - large - to carp there is nothing (there is no mistress, arrives on time, brings a salary, does not drink, does not smoke, the philatelist), on a trifle - it is ineffectual.

How to induce the husband to take the plunge - to leave everything and to leave the minimum comfort which developed for years of joint life?

1. Everything disturbs. What and wherever the husband - all not on the place put.

2. All not so. Whatever the husband - all not so did. It is necessary on another as - I do not know, but not so.

3. All occupations of the husband litter the apartment. Throw out everything that belongs to its house occupations.

4. All occupations of the husband break an order in the house. You bring order on his desktop.

5. If the husband likes to cook - be more often pounded behind his back and sentence: The Main thing is gravy! .

6. If at the husband something burned on a plate, tell him that at it always everything burns where it is not necessary.

7. If the husband came from work - never run to meet to a door him with slippers in hands (and without slipper too).

8. If after arrival from work the husband tries to kiss you - evade from a kiss with words: From you bears tobacco again! (even if you in a minute smoked several cigarettes in a row before).

9. If the husband is going to go to sleep - do not hurry in a bed, try to lay down when he already sleeps.

10. If the husband wakes up when you lay down, and tries to take active actions - remind him that to it tomorrow to get up early that children will hear that mother does not sleep - on circumstances.

11. If the husband repeats attempts in the morning - ask him about whether precisely there are hours and how many he will be engaged in it. Remind him that to both for work.

12. If already and to you nevterpezh - do it, gritting the teeth (but not from passion, and from discontent), you ask it to do it slowly and sadly.

13. If he asks: Why it is sad? answer that to have fun there is nothing!

14. At the neighbor it is better and better. Remind a thicket of what was made by the neighbor and what was not made by the husband.

15. Colleagues are more successful. Every time, getting paid from the husband, recalculate it with a bitter sobbing: Here Petya broke through, and you did not! .

16. You ask more money, you say that there is nothing to feed a family that all will become unproductive soon.

17. Borrow on clothes and footwear for yourself (but not for it!) you bring home with exclamation: Look that I bought! It was necessary to borrow - you give nothing to me! .

18. On its birthday buy gifts to yourself and do not hesitate to tell about it to people around.

19. When the husband tries to talk to children, insert more often: Well to whom you listen? .

20. When the husband tries to discuss a situation with the mother, repeat more often: Ah, if I knew that you have such son! .

21. When the husband tries to discuss a situation with your mother, through each phrase insert: Mother, you were right! (if you married against her will), or: Mother, why I obeyed you! (if everything was from her blessing).

22. During feasts after each remark of the husband nabrezhno throw: Well! .

23. If the husband dares to speak publicly in your address, do not hesitate to tear off it words: And you in general shut up! .

24. When all your cunnings will come to an end, begin to compare the husband to household goods, for example, with a floorcloth.

25. If it does not help, begin to say to all that without husband - as without garbage can.

It seems to me, this gentlemen`s " set; will work as a good master key in hands of the skilled burglar.

That who wants to achieve success in this field, - full speed, a backwind!

P. S. Men, when the wife passes for item 18, begin to prepare spare airfield.

P. P. S. My experience in first marriage - 35 years.