How to get on with the mother-in-law?
are absolutely actual For many people the rule “ The Love to parents is learned at distance “.
Perhaps, it and so, but there lived our ancestors from time immemorial together with parents, children, grandmothers and grandfathers. In one house about four generations got on!
Also lived - did not grieve. I think, there were both quarrels, and problems, but where without them, all of us have the right to defend the opinion and to do something in own way.
The housing problem spoiled us, this phrase was told long ago and about Muscovites, but it is actual for all to this day. Perhaps, even more, than earlier.
What to do if you - the self-assured, self-sufficient young woman with various modern views and requirements to the world, and you have to live with parents of the husband? And they are old silly vegetables, have strange habits, tell nonsense, learn to live, constantly check how the daughter-in-law wiped dust and consider that they are right, and more nobody. How to get on with them, to come into contact?
I can tell about myself that with the mother-in-law I was lucky. I live with it together and sometimes I feel the attitude towards myself almost maternal. Advise me, but it is accurate, I am helped, allow to have a rest and think of itself. Life with this person for me more, than is comfortable.
My councils can not suit someone, and someone them with pleasure will pick up another.
1. In - the first, have patience. The mother-in-law - the living person, she lived life, it was taught in a different way, it grew in other conditions. You can in something not agree with it, but are simply obliged to listen and think the person “ and maybe, she speaks correctly? “
2. The second aspect is the care of the husband, her son. I think, in a different way cannot be if you love it. About herself she will estimate all your actions and will understand that her son, its flesh and blood in reliable hands. I already wrote the article “ How to become the good wife? “. In my opinion, all moments described there are also care. For other woman they can be others.
It is necessary to care also for the child if he is, and about it, about the mother-in-law. Even to learn how she feels - and that already care. If she was tired - to make any chores for her, to descend in shop.
3. If started talking about affairs, I think, their performance - an integral part of successful life with the husband`s parents. It is necessary to clean up, the husband, sometimes behind them if they were tired or badly feel. At the same time, I consider, you should not go to far in an initiative, and remember one rule: “ You here not the hostess, will also order at yourself in kitchen “.
4. Remember that this person is much more senior and lived life therefore quite often it is necessary to listen to her opinion. There are things in which the young daughter-in-law just the layman, and to her knowledge purely theoretical therefore here it is not necessary to argue with the mother-in-law, and it is necessary to listen. And if so strongly there is a wish to make in own way, solve it not during military operations with it and as - nibud in its absence. You remember, the person who has already adult children is obviously subordinated to own mode, orders which settled for many years, it is difficult to retrain it and to convince of something. Therefore be more flexible, with the charter to others monastery do not go.
5. You study at it, she, most likely, knows many recipes of tasty dishes. She knows that she loves and, what is even more important, your husband where what to buy, get, knows some household trifles which you did not learn yet does not love. If the person understands that it is interesting to you, then will trust more than the secrets, and it will be just easier for you in life.
That this the little that to someone will help to facilitate own life and not to turn it into hell, and it is possible, you will be able sometime to call the mother-in-law mother.