Whether it is difficult to be the seaman`s wife?
appeared in ours the Internet Lately - the Life magazine many articles about family relationship, about love, about what want the woman to see the man and vice versa what husbands from the wives wait for. Perhaps I am not absolutely right, but there was an opinion that many consider nearly as the main thing in vzaimotnosheniye of floors the sexual relations.
Well it is simple “ cry “ young wives of rich businessmen and managers from the fact that their husbands are strongly busy (in general, work for the benefit of a family), stay at home a little, there come tired and cannot regularly have sex. And “ poor “ wives, having overslept till a lunch, having gone to fitness - club, to boutiques, having had dinner at restaurant, having gossiped for a while with girlfriends it is also lazy having looked through expensive fashionable magazine, begin to suffer from loneliness. And in one of articles it was not told about wives of those men who by the nature of the activity leave, leave the house not per day, not for a week, and for several months. These are military and trade seamen, seamen of fishing fleet, geologists, travelers.
Whether it is difficult to be the seaman`s wife, I know firsthand, was her 33 years - only the last 4 years of the life my husband was a coastal, overland inhabitant - for health reasons could not go to the sea. When I married, at all knew nothing about life and work of seamen, did not represent what difficulties wait for me in the future. We got married on love, at the age of 20 - ti years. The husband needed to study half a year in the Klaipeda seaworthy school, I only entered the fourth year of the Leningrad University. So, in a month after a wedding parted in places of study. Letters and hope that we will be together soon helped to transfer the first long separation. Wrote each other every other day, it is good that then mail worked perfectly, letters from Klaipeda reached Leningrad in 3 - 4 days. By the way, now mailings cover the same distance in 3 - 4 weeks.
But the main difficulties as it appeared, were ahead. My naive hopes that the husband after the termination of school will be distributed in Severo - the Western river shipping company, i.e. Leningrad, did not come true. It was directed the navigator, the third assistant to the captain to the average fishing trawler (AFT) of the Klaipeda base of Oceanic fishing fleet. The husband became not just a seaman, and the fisherman. Someone told long ago that “ the fisherman - twice the seaman “. More definitely you will not tell. Who was at least once on fishery vessels, at least at excursion, can understand in what conditions fishermen had to get fish. Now, of course, vessels became big, comfortable, living conditions it is much better. But about vessels and fishermen is already other history.
When the son was born, I wanted to be transferred to a correspondence department and to remain in Klaipeda, however the housing was not though we bypassed a set of apartments and houses, trying to remove “ corner “ from this nothing left. Returned to finish study. The husband went to the first flight to the Norwegian Sea for 4 months. Then the shortest flights were 3,5 - 4 months, then all of them increased, and in 80 - e years already left for 6 months, and even on seven. During the first flight I wrote to the husband of 30 letters! We sent them (I mean the seaman) on post office of fish port, there accumulated them and sent using a convenient opportunity when for trade there was some vessel. The husband told what pleasure was tested by seamen, receiving on several letters at once! Then there was no Internet still and the radio communication was only office. Already much later, somewhere in the late seventies, began to allow negotiations on a radio telephone to seamen with relatives, for 1 - 2 minutes. Audibility - awful, sometimes data told through the radio operator ashore what can so be told? Usually spoke: “ At us all normally, well, you do not worry, take care “. Still there was an exchange of radiogramms in which except as: “ Everything is normal “ you will write nothing too.
After the end of study I arrived already to continuous life - life to Klaipeda, with the one-year-old child on hands. Began to work at school, long looked for where to remove housing, and only in 4 months it worked well. And before huddled in the apartment of fathers-in-law, small, (26 sq.m) without any conveniences where, except us, still there lived with a family the sister of my husband. Therefore when the husband after the next flight returned to the rental small apartment, in a penthouse, without any conveniences too, we were with it in the seventh heaven! And when in a year received the room in a communal flat, the pleasure was not a limit! It should be experienced personally. While the husband was in flight, I made repair by means of the neigbour, seamen too, bought a case and a sofa bed. Never I will forget how the husband, having for the first time entered in “ the “ the apartment, enthusiastically paced the room, stroke-oared a sofa, touched a wardrobe, and asked: “ It is true, all our? “.
They say that long separations do love only stronger. I think that it is the truth. If the love is, then difficulties are surmountable any. Those who are more senior for certain remember the song “ Over Kronstadt fog... “ in it there is such couplet: “ Be quiet, the seaman, fidelity the best beacon, any hurricane, a hurricane will not extinguish love and to whom not to understand how liked to wait, will ask let, will ask let girlfriends of seamen... “. The love and fidelity of wives help toilers of the sea with their hard work, and wives should learn to suffer and wait.
The destiny of the wife of the seaman was hard. Having met the husband after the next flight, I began to sob and poor-mouth that it “ threw the sea “ that settled ashore, and the husband finished me: “ Here still reysik I descend, and everything, I am at home, I will replace a profession “. How many tears were shed! Probably, the Baltic Sea became salty not only from mine, but also from tears of many fisherwomen! There took place flight behind flight, everything repeated until I understood that the husband cannot live without “ the “ the seas, without vessel and team. He often sang: “... I know, friends what not to live to me without the sea as the sea is dead without me... “
What helped to overcome separation and loneliness? I will unambiguously tell - work and patience, to it we were taught in the childhood. Not for nothing speak - “ Constant dropping will wear away a stone “. What is reached by the work is always appreciated. It was necessary to learn much - not only to cook, sew, knit, but also to bleach ceilings, to glue wall-paper in the apartment, to collect and rearrange furniture, to repair the iron and the vacuum cleaner, etc. (then there was no service “ the husband for an hour “ and would not understand, invite I foreign man to the aid). And the most important, most to raise children so that they did not feel long absence of the father.
But how many joy was brought by meetings after long separation! I know how we bothered dispatchers of fish port, infinitely keeping ringing by phone to specify time of arrival of the vessel. And sometimes hours stood with children at a checkpoint, expecting when we are let in, at last, on the territory, will carry out to the necessary mooring to which it is already moored “ our vessel “. In 37 years of family life I did not work only 2 years after the birth of the second son, and these years were most if not difficult, then dim. At work time flies quickly, there it is interesting, feel to the necessary people and when all day you potter about with household chores, such melancholy and grief! To me not to understand those women who do not want to work.
It is possible to tell about destiny of wives of seamen infinitely much. When in 2001 - the m tragicly died to year crew of a nuclear submarine “ Kursk “ in St. Petersburg decided to create a monument true and loving “ To the seaman`s Wife “. It was created as at us is found, special public fund headed by the captain of the first rank, were held the whole three competitions on the best project. But passed six years, and recently there was news that on September 26 this year in the mouth of the river of Smolenki on Vasilyevsky Island the ceremony of consecration of a mortgage stone under a monument will take place. When there is a monument, nobody can definitely tell. And here in Ukraine inhabitants of Odessa were quicker, at them in 2002 - the m appeared to year a monument “ To the seaman`s Wife “. This monument very much was pleasant to me, thanks to inhabitants of Odessa!
In conclusion I want to wish to all wives, not only seamen, to be loving, true, patient, hardworking, to store the family center, speak - the husband holds the house for one corner, and the wife for three!