It is time for kid to mature?
All week the child communicated in different children`s collectives including on preparation for a garden, and he was beaten everywhere by other children. As a result by a weekend the sociable open child (2 years 8 months) very much changed, sits buky in a sandbox and begins to roar when the girlfriend tries to embrace him (it beat it too). It not greedy and not pugnacious. Often it looks so that children try to draw its attention to themselves and when he wants to be engaged in something special, begin to push it and to beat. I do not know that to do, try to isolate for a while it from others that recovered, to look for urgently to it other company or “ it is time to mature to it “ let learns to communicate also with fighters how told in a garden?
In life of each child there comes such moment when it comes off mother and begins to build the own relations with people around. Than earlier the child will learn to make independently decisions and to get out of the difficult situations, especially successful he will be able to be because will solve in due time the problems corresponding to his age.
It does not mean at all that the child at this important point should be thrown and observed from far away: will cope - will not cope. Your presence, support and participation in affairs and contacts of the child are very important during this period. You can watch how the child agrees with kids in a sandbox about the one who will play the first a shovel from a distance. Your support can be shown that you at the right time will nod to the kid when he looks around at you in search of confirmation of the correctness or just support: if you smile to it, he will understand what everything does correctly.
If you isolate your son from communication with other children now, then thereby will just tighten the adaptation period. Sooner or later he all the same should communicate independently with people around, and you will not be able to control this process in any way. For example, it can happen in school where you will not sit down with it at one school desk. But the later there will be a contact, the it will be heavier to overcome to your son the fears, uncertainty, especially and frightening peers will seem unknown.
Peers can be very different: not only peace and friendly, but also greedy and aggressive-minded to predetermine for hundred percent a potential circle of contacts of the kid, much to regret of mother, it is impossible, the child should learn to communicate with all.
Your task is in helping it to believe in the forces, to find self-confidence, to become “ back “ where it can return at any time behind support and understanding.
Performance of this task in practice can be shown in the following.
When the child plays in a sandbox, you do not vanish from his field of vision anywhere, at any time can meet it eyes, encouragingly nod, smile, make welcome gesture.
In a critical situation (if larger or senior child begins to offend the son) you have full authority to interfere and stop further development of the injuring situation. If the child precisely knows that mother will come to the rescue of him, then understanding of this fact will give to the boy of self-confidence and the forces, and also will increase his degree of trust to mother.
After permission of less difficult situation which is not demanding your intervention (for example, fight for a toy with the equal partner), it is necessary to discuss with the upset kid in the most detailed way an event: how you think why the boy wanted to play this toy too? Than it was pleasant to it? Why it was important to you to keep it? How you think, it was possible to agree peacefully? How it was possible to arrive in a different way? And it was possible here so …? And to give the option of permission of a controversial issue.
Teach the child to be protected. Children at this age are often not able to realize that is felt by other person. Therefore in most cases it is enough that your son loudly could tell the offender: “ It is unpleasant to me, to me it is painful when you so do! “ This phrase most likely will stop the offender if it does not occur, then the attention of adults will be anyway drawn to incident, and the offender will be eliminated.
It is very important to teach the child to speak about feelings: for you it is offensive, you are upset … I am upset too when … The child can learn this ability only if the closest to it people are parents, speak about feelings. The three-year-old child will not be able to be at exact adequate loss for words for expression of the state. Therefore at first on mother the task to assume, to guess the feelings which had by the child and to report about them lays down. A bit later the child will begin to realize: when I feel here so - it is irritation, here so - offense - the kid will be able to connect the state and the word which this state is called.
But it a bit later, and at first - guesses about a condition of the child: “ When Deniska took from you from hands the machine, you, probably, became angry … “ And then tell it about the love, understanding and support. Words of love and support never happen much. They form a positive image of at the child and give then strength and confidence in the solution of difficult situations.