Why the child is not loved in collective?
In any collective inevitably develop some, special relationship. Someone holds authority, someone is just not loved. Children`s collective at all not an exception. On the contrary, the contradictions between adults smoothed by education, experience and public traditions in children`s collective are shown brightly and is expressed.
Children cause offenses, without reflecting. The general fun is caused by tears of the four-eyes or the fat man. The main thing that the object of sneers was in something another, not such as all. Points, completeness, unfashionable clothes, an unusual section of eyes or the residence in the neighboring area - all this can become the reasons of the tense relationship, sneers and even mockeries.
The last from the given occasions, “ other area “ it is often created by artificially parents. In aspiration to choose school it is better for the child, we are ready to send him on other city edge, in fact, depriving of free time which it could spend for communication and maintenance of good relations with peers. Add to it traditional teenage “ wars “ between areas and streets, remember the childhood. And having remembered, well think whether it is worth replacing for the sake of high knowledge pleasure of communication with companions with a trip in the crowded bus.
It is beautiful and fashionable to dress the growing child - a difficult task. But many parents are ready to give the latest if only their child was “ not worse than others “. In principle, they are right. Children often laugh at those who, in their opinion, are dressed “ not so “. In their opinion. Parents sometimes forget that the child and his companions have the taste and the ideas of beauty. As a result “ decent “ the suit is put on by the son only through scandal, but from “ torn “ of the child not to pull out the jeans bought for walks in the fresh air.
Also too beautiful, allocated clothes can be the cause of alienation. In my 10 - 11 years at school appeared “ son of the regiment “ - the boy from a large family, the pupil of a military orchestra. Its adjusted military uniform with scarlet shoulder straps, brilliant buttons and a brass metal plate on a wide soldier`s belt caused secret envy in most of boys - age-mates. The hidden envy was quickly transformed in nothing the covered aggression. What only the little musician had not to endure. Constant cavils, sneers, kicks and fights did its school existence intolerable.
Unlike clothes, the nationality is transferred to us by parents, and to choose another it will not turn out. Even full assimilation will not rescue, external signs all the same will remain. Sometimes it develops so that they become a reason for children`s hostility. And there`s nothing to be done, arrangements and educational conversations will not help. To fondly consider it as manifestation of nationalism. Just child “ not such “. It is possible to solve a problem change of collective. If “ not such “ there will be several, perhaps surrounding children will not even pay attention to the reasons which were so annoying in former collective.
Change of collective will hardly help the full child. Of course, council to be engaged in health and to normalize a type of the child, is universal. But whether here it is always feasible? Will help to overcome sneers and hostility surely self-confidence. But how many we advised the child to spit everything and to forget - nothing will change. By effort of will of confidence not to add.
But it is possible to find the occupation, for example, sport or dances allowing to gain plasticity, grace of movements and ability to operate the body, to feel pleasure of success when something new turns out, earlier inaccessible. The completeness problem in consciousness of the child will gradually depart on a distance shot, the attention to it will weaken, and sneers will cease to concern. And if sneers do not cause any reaction whether it is worth trying?
I gave only several examples when, in general, ordinary things become a reason for rejection of the child by collective. Without urging none of parents to suppress the bright, creative individual beginnings in the children, I suggest to undertake, whenever possible, measures that externally they were not too allocated in children`s collective. Believe, it will help the son or the daughter to avoid many unpleasant moments.