Self-deception or optimism? We begin to distinguish!
What is optimism? Of course, any will answer - it is self-confidence, belief in good, belief that everything will be as you want. I was not too lazy and consulted a dictionary. I found in it something similar, but all - another, more correct, perhaps, definition. This vigorous and cheerful attitude at which the person in everything sees the light parties, believes in the future, in success, that in the world the positive beginning, good dominates. It is interesting whether it is possible to be the optimist always …, proceeding from the last definition?
And self-deception? Often, to believe in something, to be issued at the end of a tunnel, to have to overpersuade itself, can even substitute unconsciously for one another, inspire in itself what is not present actually.
I have one acquaintance that always sees, hears and feels only what wants, at the same time she madly is afraid of everything that can hurt, she does not take any plunge, being afraid to fall and already 10 years sit at itself in office and shift pieces of paper, come in 18. 20 home, makes for eternally drunk husband a dinner, erases, cleans and goes to bed. Already every day. I lie. Sometimes she speaks with me by phone and calls mother.
Without knowing this person, I could tell that “ well, nature such, everything suits it therefore it and lives … “. But just tell so about it … I cannot. And still she claims that the optimist. But just in its case it is more likely self-deception., deception of … Saying to me that she`s fine, she does not lie. Actually, externally everything is normal, as at all, quiet measured life.
But I left from a subject. In what a difference between optimism and self-deception? Deception eats ourselves, constantly exaggerating, tinting stories of the lives, we, in fact, stop life. And any more not we live every day, but that, someone another, thought up … at which everything is good. Optimism - same an active step on “ light “ a way, on that way on which we want to go.
Not to confuse these two concepts, it is necessary to find out why we deceive ourselves. The reasons there can be a huge set, but the main in which it is possible to enter ten more, at least, two.
The first . We are afraid to exchange. Agree very few people can estimate 100% himself and the life. To see that there is a wish it is as a balm for the soul. I will give a banal example: “ I cannot get into the favourite jeans. Probably, they sat down. Yes, precisely., on 3 sizes after the first washing... a figure - that at me normal “ . Of course, jeans can shrink, but everything is far simpler and more pleasant to dump on them, jeans will not tell you: “ expensive, it is time to stop eating sandwiches " at night;
and it is far more difficult to i to force to see to the food or to go to the gym. Or from that my acquaintance about whom spoke earlier. It is easier for it to tell that work at it normal, without hassles, you will think, it there is nothing there do not put and do not appreciate, than to make the decision to leave and find that place where she will be respected. About her spouse I in general am silent. “ He drinks because he is tired at work. It is such good, it does everything that I was happy! “ Only happiness - that is not present.
The second the reason why we deceive ourselves - to raise the self-assessment.
But is as if sad it did not sound, the fairy tale is good when it supplements life, but does not substitute it. It is all the same that to darn a hole on a blouse and to decorate with brilliant butterflies., It seems, everything is beautiful, but reality - that full of holes … or to make up nails over an old varnish.
Certainly, at desire it is possible to change all. And new to buy a blouse, and to make up nails as it is necessary. And it will be the decision of the optimist. And, above all - to understand that it is bad to deceive not only others, but also himself.