How to bring up the prince? What
the boy did not dream to turn a frog into the princess? And what man notices the princess in the daughter? The princess or the prince is a person who satisfies the interpersonal needs for recognition, for acceptance, for control, for understanding, for adoption of independent decisions.
The main objective of recognition is a definition of belonging to group, communication with it and the level of an involvement into her life. The family becomes the first group in life of the child. Parents have to communicate more often with children, satisfying their need for recognition. These contacts have to enrich the child with personal values, install belief in own originality and uniqueness.
Monitor the speech! Any “ penk “ and “ laces “! These phrases reduce a self-assessment. Your child yet not the prince but only learns in them to be. Do not go too far, claiming that your child - the genius when he is accompanied by the three and the two.
In communication with the child not the number of meetings, but quality - positive emotions which are received by the child is important. Ignoring of the child, the relation, indifferent to it, forms the low-accepted type of the personality. Only receiving so much love how many for it it is necessary from parents, the accepted adult grows up from it.
It is known that the adult has to be able to make independent decisions and to bear responsibility for them. Parents have two ways to prevent the child to learn to make independent decisions is to impose own, without allowing to have a rest from guardianship, or to provide to dispose of life at discretion when he cannot do it.
Only the few parents decide to define borders in which the child can independently act and allow it to work in this framework and to bear responsibility for the acts. Consider that the child grows, and limits of his independence extend. You express these the respect for the identity of the child.
The interpersonal need for control is shown in the behavior connected with establishment and maintenance of the satisfactory relations with people in the field of the power and influence. At the level of feelings the need for control is expressed in aspiration to be competent of eyes of other people, in establishment and maintenance of respect and responsibility.
At the level of feeling the need for control is perceived by the person as requirement to be the competent, knowing, independent person, the responsible personality. The need for control is shown in desire to operate other people and their future; in desire to be controlled, transferring responsibility for decision-making to the head.
One of basic needs of human soul is the understanding. Those parents who consider are mistaken that the understanding will read from ability accurately to inform others of the point of view, to convince other person of the correctness. The real understanding begins with ability attentively and with interest to listen to the child. He has to feel your openness and trust you.
Trust - the best motivation for the child. It awakens all the best that is in it. But the trust demands patience and time, need to train and develop the child. Of course, you can make homework for the child, but it is important to induce the child to do it independently. You will not be near when it is caused to solve to a board a similar problem? You should teach the child to learn lessons independently. For this purpose the patience, an explanation of material, unclear for the child, for the tenth or 100-th time will be required.
Existence of problems in satisfaction of requirements of interpersonal communication is formed a frog who envies people around, constantly complains, sticks out the advantages. Their picture of the world is close and poor therefore they constantly make the wrong choice.
Now depends only on you: whether it will be possible to make the little girl of a frog the princess, and from the boy to grow up the prince.
Literature: Kov of St. River, “ 7 skills of highly effective people “; Krupenin A. L., Krokhina I. M. “ Effective teacher “.