For what people enter official marriage?
Probably, it would be necessary to entitle the text a little differently - “ For what I entered official marriage? “ it would be more correct though it is immodest. Correctly because it is almost impossible to be responsible for all people, how many people - it is so much also the reasons though, of course, the reasons can be typified. And as I carry myself to typical people, therefore, the reasons which pushed me on official marriage are typical too. Therefore the heading can quite be considered variable - facultative.
Ten years ago the social status of the married woman was very important for me. And now, perhaps, too it is important. Sometimes it seems to me that when people say that the status we do not mean to them, they dissemble a little though, perhaps, I am mistaken.
I will explain the thought.
To an official marriage I lived about two years in civil. Considered herself she is almost married though, of course, somewhere at heart the worm of doubt pottered about: whether correctly I do. Activity of this worm sharply increased after communication with mother who was firmly sure that a civil marriage - overindulgence one. Probably, the part of this confidence was transferred also to me. I arrived to Novosibirsk from a small town where all girls early enough marry. If you did not manage to marry to twenty, then write was gone. Later to marry it is almost unreal: more and more or less suitable parties are sorted, addicts and drunkards - not the best choice, the house boys sitting under mother`s skirts let further there sit.
My schoolmate who married in twenty years so explained the step: “ You Represent, my neigbour from below already with a carriage and with the husband, and it only eighteen!? And I, in twenty, stand at an entrance I say goodbye to Sashka - I embrace. It is a shame, upon my life! “. Also married Sashka.
When I with these doubts came to the husband, he spoke: “ What nonsense, I love you, and no stamp in the passport will be able to affect my feeling, a stamp - mere formality “. I calmed down. Then, having become skilled in verbal balancing act, I began to answer: “ If a stamp - mere formality, then why you refuse such trifle to the beloved? Accept it as my whim “. I won.
Later few years after official registration somehow in conversation on the general shapochny acquaintance who was engaged in family consultation, the husband told: “ How she can be engaged in it if she itself in marriage in normal way could not leave? “. The girl lived at that time several years in a civil marriage. I then for myself noted that, despite the shown freedom of views, for the husband “ to marry in normal way “ - all this is to register the relations officially.
Often when I communicate with the people who are standing up for a civil marriage, I note for myself disagreements in reasonings, a mismatch of the words and emotions accompanying them. For example, at a meeting of university fellow students (more precisely - classmates) it is accepted to brag of achievements and to show photos of the increased families. Of course, questions of marital status sound. And every time somebody (being at that time in a civil marriage) the voice ringing from tension begins to convince all of correctness of the living position chosen by him.
Though, perhaps, me only seems tension in a voice and tears in eyes. Probably, there are absolutely happy people in a civil marriage. Just they practically do not come across to me.
Still it seems to me that official registration - something like frontier: there is a territory of a sovereign family. At a civil marriage as it is represented to me, this border more indistinct, not distinct. “ We build the family relations? “ or “ We try to build the family relations? “. Agree that sounds absolutely differently. When I try, I do not bear responsibility for result. If something is impossible, I can always tell: “ So, I`m sorry, it did not turn out “ - and absent-mindedly so to shrug shoulders. Thus, official registration is a heavy responsibility. For the man, probably, more because the woman considers herself as it is she is married.
Everything written above - only my subjective reasonings. Because to live in official marriage or civil - business especially personal, a question from the category eternal as one my acquaintance speaks, a type question: “ To be or not to be? “.