Whether you are sure of safety of the child?
our children - the most valuable that we have.
And therefore it is absolutely logical that we try to give them all best, to teach all to the most necessary and necessary, to save, secure, protect. But as shows experience and practice, it works well not always and not all. You can choose carefully only natural products, follow advice of leading experts at the choice of a bed or a backpack, you with the child can regularly visit the doctor, the psychologist, to buy clever and good books, you can tell the child that you should not come into the elevator with strangers, you should not drink, smoke that drugs are the evil, you can control each step of the child, but it is all the same will not be an absolute guarantee of its safety. Every day we see
, we hear, we read that children are plundered, kill, force, steal or just offend. And whether each of us can be sure of safety of the child?
Here some of the most widespread myths about children`s safety.
Myth 1: Do not talk with unfamiliar
the Myth concerning the stranger, perhaps the most widespread among parents. We were told by our parents that it is impossible to talk to unfamiliar, it is impossible to let in the apartment of unfamiliar, it is impossible to come with them into the elevator or to remain alone indoors. We tell same to our children, and they will pick up relay and will tell already the. Everything is right - the stranger can constitute potential danger to the child. But why then in criminal chronicles there are a lot of messages on the raped, robbed, stolen children if they constantly to it are taught? The answer is simple - in 80% from the 100th the robber, not the stranger appears the tyrant and the murderer at all. Having used children`s trustfulness, the neighbor in a landing, the father of the best friend, the seller from shop where you constantly go, mother`s acquaintances can appear the malefactor.
True-life story: 9 - summer Kolya stayed at home. The door was called by the neighbor uncle Vova. The boy firmly remembered mother`s manuals not to open unfamiliar a door, but same the uncle Vova. It often comes to parents. Guarded the boy a little that the adult came to their absence, but the uncle Vova explained that he just wanted to take a little salt and the boy carelessly opened a door. As a result the child appeared in hospital with cracks of anal pass, and the uncle Vova received the status of the pedophile and a registration on plank beds.
Whatever was a good acquaintance or the best friend of people from your environment, with your child is strictly forbidden to remain alone to it. Clever and decent acquaintances will understand if in the absence of parents the child does not let them in the apartment. The child should explain that only the Lord can know that at each person on mind and what is behind a friendly smile and cheerful jokes. Therefore if the best friend on a visit decided to come into your absence - the child should not hesitate to tell the aunt that anybody there is no house and in the apartment to it anybody is allowed to let if to the neighbor suddenly took in head to borrow any trifle, it is better for child to tell firmly “ Now anybody there is no house, call the neighboring apartment and borrow everything that is necessary “
Myth 2: We have with the child a full mutual understanding and trust.
Truth? It really pleases. It means that the child trusts you, consults on you, you often communicate with the child, are interested in his affairs, and time so - means you the wise parent. But not everything is so simple. There are moments which children at all trust and understanding try to hide. For various reasons - from - for fear, shyness, from - for what will be a shame and it is awkward …
the True-life story: 14 summer Vika after school was seen off by the schoolmate. Having used naivety of the girl, the guy raped the child on a building site through which the way home lay. Houses where, by the way, the father was considered as the head of the family, the girl was ashamed to admit that happened to her. As a result of Vick became closed, unsociable, often cried at night. A month later she decided to share with elder sister, and that in turn already told all to parents. you Teach
the child that it is even possible to share with parents the most intimate. Girls ideally have to have a special contact with mother (the stepmother, the grandmother, the sister, the aunt), at boys - that is with this person the child should not be afraid to discuss with the father (the grandfather, the uncle, the stepfather) not only the general questions, but also those juicy questions which concern sex, genitals, indecent offers.
Myth 3: It at me the assistant. was largely lucky you. Really - the child helps also about the house, and carries out mother`s instructions - and the garbage will take out, and for the younger brother in kindergarten descends, and in shop can independently descend. What parents will not rejoice? Whether but you well weighed everything - and a way to shop or kindergarten, and is how dark at an entrance and whether the elevator works in your house? And such carelessness of a lot of things can cost. The way to shop can lie through solitudes, the way to school or to kindergarten provides crossing of several brisk roads, at an entrance can be dark, and the floor to live addicts below.
True-life story: Tanya was always a diligent girl and never refused to help. That evening mother asked Tanechka to take out garbage. The child took a package and went. In 15 minutes when the girl did not return, uneasy mother jumped out of the apartment. The child made advances tear-stained and with panties in hands …
Always really estimate the and children`s opportunities. It does not mean that the child should not help about the house or execute orders of parents if everything is thought carefully over. For example, if the way to shop passes through solitudes - better for the child to one not to go to shop, with nightfall it is better for child not to leave the apartment too if nearby doubtful neighbors live - to the yard to walk the child better not to release one - find time and take a walk together.
the Child can be the assistant, but you in turn should think, but whether such help will turn back something irreparable.
Myth 4: The Internet - piece informative. nobody argues With it especially as such innovation appears in many houses and families. Very often parents teach the child to use the Internet, show the interesting children`s websites, together look for information. It is quite often possible to hear also assurances of parents that the Internet of the house helps the child to study.
But even creators of a world wide web agree that now the Internet turned into a huge musornitsa in whom many learned to earn, everyone seeks to insert five kopeks, and a flow of information - often silly, unreasonable, anti-moral only amplifies. Here and a porn, including children`s, both murders, and shootings in real. And at desire (or by accident) it is possible to come across maniacs, pedophiles, suicides, fascists, extremists, businessmen to whom all the same what or from whom to earn from, and just sick people. And now answer a question - you personally would like that on a world wide web above-mentioned categories of people were included to you into the house and communicated with your child?
True-life story: 9 - summer Vanya with pleasure used the Internet. Parents encouraged desire of the child to find additional information on this or that school subject, allowed to communicate with peers in ICQ, to play games. But once the father found the child behind viewing of pornographic pictures. As then it appeared, the child often secretly visited the serious websites with a pornography and pictures from the place of murders and road accident. As the boy explained - it was just interesting to him.
Moderation in everything - here the main credo of the wise parent. If in the house there is an Internet, parents have to control a flow of information, and if necessary explain to the child that it is good and that it is bad.
Myth 5: It is still too small for this purpose … In many families quite many subjects (especially juicy and over what it is necessary to think) are under a ban. Psychologists tell not one year that it is necessary to discuss everything with children, without exception, a subject. For example - sex. Kids can explain everything simply and available, with children is more senior it is possible to discuss a ticklish subject in more detail. And that pleases, many families listen to such councils. And here is how often you discuss with the child, besides a sex subject, a subject of sexual violence - in particular over children, or a subject of a child pornography. Here many prizadumatsya already. A subject - not from simple and why it to discuss if nothing of that kind was and can be ….
True-life story: Mother 8 - summer Stas learned that the boy often calls on the elderly neighbor. The boy explained to the being perplexed parents that he just helps the grandfather. What was surprise and parents and neighbors when for the respectable grandfather people in shoulder straps were. In the apartment the old person had many amateur pictures of naked children. As later it was succeeded to establish, the grandfather paid children on several hryvnias for an opportunity to photograph them stark naked. Surprise was replaced by natural indignation and a storm of emotions. As it appeared, the child did not even know what with him is done and as far as it is bad.
Such situations presently not a rarity. Therefore it is better to talk to the child on any even at once the most delicate and ticklish topic that he understood that it to what it conducts that with it is done and as it can be avoided. Such rule extends not only on subjects of sex or violence over children - for certain in your life there were many interesting episodes and cases, reflecting over which you decided that the child is still too small to discuss a situation and just waved away from it. Who is informed by
, that is armed - arm the child with the corresponding knowledge.
Myth 6: My child not such … almost all parents when they see young people, actually still children, with a cigarette in hands, a napodpitka, with an absent look of the addict So think. Of course your child not such. And to what to it to be such - a family at you quite normal in the social plan, the good atmosphere, security all the best for the child, lack of addictions at parents … This delusion concerns 90% of all parents who hope that the son or the daughter will grow up good, decent people. But, unfortunately, on streets even more often it is possible to see fallen, dirty, drunk, “ junked “ young people. It does not mean at all that they from socially dysfunctional families. Such grief can comprehend any family.
True-life story: Mischa grew in a good provided family. The loving parents, uncles and aunts, grandfathers and grandmothers - everything simply adored the kid. The boy grew up in prosperity and love. But once in 16 years Mischa got acquainted with bad guys. The desire will be allocated, to show itself, to test something new it was strong - in 18 years Mischa already densely sat on a needle. Now to the young man 22, and he has AIDS. Parents cannot find any peace - as? why? What for? And the main thing - for what to them it?
should not overestimate itself and the child what angelic would not be parents and what gold would not be your kid. It all - navsy only the child. And life does not give any insurance and guarantees. For this reason now your main task - to bring up the correct person who will soberly estimate where danger and as to avoid it that should be done and what is impossible at all. Do not hesitate to speak about it with the child, to answer the arisen questions, to look for together information, to discuss subjects of alcoholism, drug addiction, smoking, chaotic sexual communications, sectarianism etc. The visual aid for lecture about drug addiction or alcoholism, I think, you will find at any time - there are enough those on streets.
Myth 7: For the child parents think …. Everything is faithful to
- to majority for the kid you therefore it is optional to it to know the rights, the current legislation, elementary safety regulations think. But whether you will be able always to be near the child at the right time to prompt?
True-life story: 11 - summer Vitya was taken away in police station directly from school. The father of the schoolmate claimed that the boy stole the mobile phone from his son. Naturally, nobody found time to call Vitya`s parents. During conversation shouted at the boy, he was threatened, promised to beat if does not confess. As a result the child under pressure confessed to not committed crime and got a severe psychological injury. The boy just did not know that at similar procedures with the minor there have to be parents.
be not too lazy to lift the corresponding literature and to popularly explain to the child what he has the right in this or that concrete case to how to behave where it is possible to address, on a case if there are no parents nearby, explain with available words value of laws and rules which in your opinion can be useful in the future. Discuss concrete situations - in militia, in hospital, the child was lost in the big city, the child got into an emergency situation, etc. of
of Good luck to you and protect the children!