Why and how to equip personal space if there is a thirst for loneliness?
We live in the world of the increased communication. The loneliness is rather some privilege. It is really possible to be tired of everything. Even from expensive and favourite.
Some can critically treat these words, but it happens, at all does not mean that this or that person is not dear to you any more that the love passed. If to be expressed more precisely, then we are tired rather not of the person, and of his acts, reproaches, remarks, of his eternal thirst for fun or on the contrary, of eternal melancholy...
People are different, each of us is individual. Yes, the love and the relations also consist in ability to accept the person with all his merits and demerits. And if it is true love, then we even with some interest look for approaches to each other, we learn and we learn... Also we do not carp.
But as it is heavy to be reconciled with some habits of the person who lives nearby. At first usually everything is good, we reconcile to the fact that, for example, the dishes are washed only since morning, and clothes are washed once a week, and crumbs, small garbage on a carpet... Generally, I about life. And with what pleasure you get up at five in the morning to make a breakfast, and fall asleep with pleasure in an embrace, without noticing either puffing, or snore, not fidgeting... And in general, everything is fine! But over time just the horror for some reason begins... “ Why you took my razor? “ , “ Why you washed a shirt in which I was going to go today? “ , “ Why toothpaste was left without cap again? “ and in general...
And at once everything can change. And not because stopped loving and bothered each other. But because were tired. Perhaps in general everything fell down at once - at work a deadline, and houses of a crumb... The irritation begins to collect, there is at all no opportunity to dream, think. Psychologists speak in this case about a lack of personal space. And where to take it?! If your spaces were crossed long ago, you as if always are under supervision: at work - colleagues, the house - him or her, or perhaps also children, with eternal remarks and reproaches: “ Why you suddenly were late today? “ ...
you think now - it is not about me! But, unfortunately, it can happen to each of us. And if actually there are no superobjective reasons on it, then it is just a question of your personal space which is very strongly broken.
Why, for example, marriages with separate accommodation are widespread in America? NO, I do not consider it correct what the family is? But, nevertheless, their marriages constructed as some contract (but where feelings? it not for Russians, precisely), favorable to both parties, can last all life, and on a face notorious “ American “ smile. Can eat in it something rational, but I personally for the sincere, pure relations.
Wisdom also consists in it - to manage to get on under the same roof and to love each other such what are. Not at all, of course, it turns out at once. But the so-called personal space is necessary for everyone. How to allocate it? That occurs, gradually the person who always is under attention, begins to choke, be nervous and think out slowly to this state different interpretations, begins to irritate, stir everything... What to do?
For a start it is necessary to define what means to you to live with this or that person whether you can be reconciled with his habits and a way of life. If is not present, it means not your person. Yes, it too considerably, but is honest. Why to deceive itself?! If yes, that from the very beginning it is necessary to place priorities in your relations.
It is difficult, well about what priorities can there be a speech when here mad love and passion... But that further, was not excruciatingly painful to make all this is it is necessary. The relations is a lot of work, and can be, most important and important in life. We plan the career development, so why not to plan growth of the relations! Otherwise, as happens, passions poulyanutsya, the irritation will gush, misunderstanding is farther... and further according to the list. But so should not be, and, first of all depends on ourselves, what will be farther.
It is necessary to learn to organize the rest from people, to find time only for itself.
For example to enter into a habit to take a bath. These 30 - 40 minutes you will be alone with yourself. The bathtub calms and normalizes.
it is not necessary to treat meetings with each other friends so jealously. If you love each other, means trust, and having released on a meeting - devote yourself some time.
It is also possible to work with space in the apartment. Organize to yourself a corner and equip it with things which are indifferent for your partner in life. For example, if you work with the computer, and it well is not necessary to the partner at all, then it is possible to separate visually - a screen, for example, or a case. Now there are a lot of interesting design developments which can be found in any magazine. And when there is a wish to be alone, you sit down in a favourite chair “ behind a screen “ also have a rest.
There is a problem that it is difficult to divide one bed during a dream. Just get a big bed. Psychologists even advise to sleep in different rooms though in my opinion, it already too!
If in the apartment together with you there live relatives and children, here already, of course, it is more difficult. Itself can find occupation which does not interest others and is not an overload for you. For example, grow up flowers! They demand leaving, and so far you are engaged in them, have mentally a rest!
And still... Be not afraid to ask relatives to leave you for some time. I am sure, you will be understood. Only do not frighten relatives, and better quietly explain that you were tired at work or other reason that you need to think, put thoughts in order. I think if it is correct to organize the personal space, then and thirst for loneliness will not be, you just will not need it! It is just necessary to have a rest from each other some time. As to you, and your relatives. It is impossible to send everything to only one party if such here negative moments in a family - irritation began, cavils, quarrels on trifles is a signal. On most - that business, occurred nothing terrible.
of Good luck and happiness to your house!