What the general at character with destiny?
Many people complain of the unfortunate destiny, and at the same time do not wish to analyse at all at least - and why it such and who is guilty of it. Though is not present, they, most often, know guilty persons, and can call them by name, at the same time can long tell how these people spoiled them life.
Psychologists speak: character is a destiny. In their language it means that from the person, his destiny depends on his acts. We understand that there are certain circumstances which can affect all further life radically. But why then people so differently leave the same circumstances, not to mention reactions to these circumstances?
But us interests not so much now how the person copes with so-called strokes of bad luck how many he as builds relationship in a family or in society. As there is its destiny on this front and whether character has to it any relation.
Relationship with other people directly depends on character of the person: one gets on with all, and another clashes with the same people. And it is very simple to explain it - with the loyal person surrounding people try to be too loyal while with clashing they take a defensive position and answer him with the same.
From this it is possible to draw a conclusion that not in vain to Bibles it is written: “ What will be seeded by the person, will reap “. The national folklore speaks: “ As the call, so the echo “ “ Have it coming “ “ You Will seed wind - you will reap a storm “ etc. And the third law of Newton says: “ Any action causes equal counteraction “. If to generalize all this, then it is possible to tell: as you will behave with people, also they will behave with you. Clear business that as in any rule there are exceptions, and here we can meet them. But it exceptions, and them is a little.
If to take, for example, a small cell of society - a family - and to apply these principles to relationship between the husband and the wife, then it becomes clear why there are a lot of disagreements and misunderstanding between two people who once agreed to live together and promised to love each other to the death. Sometimes wives complain: “ I love the husband, I do everything that he will tell, never I contradict him, I try to please in everything, and he behaves as the egoist. And the more I concede to it, the more it mounts me upon a neck “. After that talking to the husband of this woman, you listen practically to the same. Why? Everything is very simple: we can forget all concessions which are done by our spouse and to be fixed only on the victims on which, allegedly, it is necessary to go for the sake of the world in a family. Such cases best of all are engraved in the memory because here it is necessary itself, in some measure, to break, and it is painful. Therefore, the fact that is brighter emotionally is remembered. Both refusal of the spouse, and his protivleniye to our pressure is taken painfully to solve business on our will - and it is well remembered.
Such is the person! In good times he forgets about bad, and in bad - about good. Therefore when there is a conflict situation - all good that was done by the spouse in relation to us, it is forgotten, and recurs to the memory only bad. And here one more bible rule - " works; in others eye you will see also a mote, and in the you do not notice also a log “.
Of course, there are also such cases when the subordinated position of one of spouses, and domination of another really takes place. Sometimes this consequence of lines of the same character when one of spouses derives pleasure from humiliation of another, and the second, at the subconscious level, cannot live without it any more (masochistic traits of character). Such people subconsciously an ishchutseb of such partner in life with which they could fill the requirements. I know many women who, having left the husband who according to them, treated them unworthy, cast in the lot with same most. And again complained of destiny: “ Why only geeks and villains come across to me? “. No, do not come across. They or are tried to discover among all men, or become such under the influence of character of this woman. Simply speaking - the woman turns them into that with whom she, suffering, will feel with satisfaction.
What with it to do? If there are deviations in mentality, then it is worth addressing the psychiatrist. And if it qualities of character which we can independently affect then it is worth paying attention - from - for what at us, most often, there are conflicts with people around. Whether the concession is possible in these conflicts, for my part, and events as if developed if I conceded. What I would receive pluses, and what minuses and what it is more from it. What I wished to achieve when I arrived thus. What achieved as a result. Whether such behavior is justified and that could be changed in it. As it would be possible to arrive in a similar situation next time.
These simple questions will help us to change the character, and, therefore, and the destiny. But it for those who are ready to change something, working on itself. And to whom it is good and so, it is necessary to hope for a case, to grumble on destiny and to remain in that state in what to it it is comfortable. Matter of taste and choice.
I wish well to all only. And still character with which it would be easy to live not only to you but also to people around which from communication with you would have satisfaction. Good luck!