How to control the purposes? Part III - priorities.
of People are built by life so that to live happily. Both the little boy who caught in a matchbox of a cricket, and the young man who learned taste of a kiss, and the man, the earned first million, and the old man who was visited by grandsons - seek to exclude all bad of the life and it is better to make this world. Also happens that this big and unclear purpose - happiness - is reached by the person easily and simply. Favourite affairs bring not only pleasure, but also advantage, and the income. The love is sincere and mutual, friends are reliable, and the world around makes of it light and in a friendly way.
But happens and so that on the way to the desirable there are one million obstacles. And not because the Universe is hostile, and life is cruel but because this concrete happiness is crossed with desires of other people. Because natural laws of the world - the principles are broken, and people do not create the life independently, and take away it from others. Seeking to fill emptiness and at the same time without wishing anything to do for this purpose, the person goes on an easy way. Only this ease - is deceptive.
What means “ without wishing anything to do “?
Imagine the child whom people around from chest age begin to compare to other people, noting its progress and defects. At first there is Vasya who started talking earlier, and Vova who went later. Then - Masha, which “ eats porridge, and you are capricious “ , and Olezhek, that, which “ awfully willful and disobedient, not that you, little mine... “ Then, at school, there are Yulya and Zhenya - honors pupils on whom it is necessary to equal, and not because knowledge but because " are important; Yulya and Zhenya have five, and at you is not present “ , and Seva, with which “ it is impossible to be on friendly terms, you that, he is a poor student “ . Then, at institute - Lena, “ it has a diploma with honors, and at you was not enough 2 - x the five “ . Then begin to be considered as a salary, husbands, children, belongings, apartment metric area, grandsons and the place on a cemetery … It is very simple to
to get to this trap. It is madly simple because it is scattered in the childhood - and becomes norm for most of children who raise then the children, which, in turn … It is already so habitual that the paradox caused by dogmatic belief in uniqueness and identity of each person and at the same time - continuous comparison of with the others, seems quite normal and intelligent. It is a trap to which the child gets since the childhood - and does not know life out of it as a wolfhound, still a puppy chained any more.
It is not necessary to do anything. It is not necessary to think and solve, it is not necessary to understand the life and the desires. It is not necessary to define a paradigm and to consciously follow the principles, to love and trust, choose and try. It is necessary just to be “ as all “. To obey seniors and to study as the five as Zhenya. To graduate from the institute and to get a good job as Igor. To buy the apartment, as from Chertenyev (beautiful such three, in the center, European-quality repair...), it is obligatory to fly to holiday to Turkey (the chief last month was, brought such belongings...) ah yes, and belongings not to forget good to buy, company. To look down then on those who compare themselves not to Zhenya, Igor or Chertenyev any more, and to him. And the main thing, it is not necessary to think as far as it suits igorevsky work of the selling assistant, why to it a three in the center that else, except belongings, such interesting in Turkey. It is not necessary to do anything. Everything is already made, it was necessary only to pass in the known way...
What means “ to take away life from others “? It is even worse than
. Imagine the child who since the childhood not only was compared all the time to others, but also accustomed “ to obey seniors and to do that it is told “ . Parents brought up from it the obedient boy that quietly stayed at home and did not cause problems to eternally busy mother and the father. The school brought up the disciplined teenager that did not break progress and became full “ cell of society “. The higher education institution trained the good engineer capable to qualitatively perform the work, or the chief capable to operate these engineers. And it - too a trap.
Word " trap; has to “ which exhausts energy from one person to please to another. “ I have to “ - and she for days sits at work, printing out documents and dispatching faxes, incapable of - for fatigue to caress the son in the evening. “ I have to “ - and it turns in a routine wheel, sinks in a whirlpool of small urgent affairs, without noticing that years leave, and really important issues have less and less chances from dream to become reality.
It is not necessary to take the responsibility. It is not necessary to solve something and to choose, it is not necessary to build life. All will make for it and for it those who know better how everything has to be. The chief at work will set tasks and terms. Parents and friends will incidentally find to it love. And over time, having got used to a situation, he will require from the problems surrounding solutions, to demand the help and support: the wife will have to keep order in the house, the daughter - to study well, the administration - to raise a salary, all around - to behave as he considers correct. And when something will go not so - he will swear and be angry because this worthless world, appears, is arranged at all not as HAS TO... What sweet illusion of the power. Or perhaps even not illusion.
All this is a question of arrangement of priorities. A question of understanding of what really is important for the person, what he is ready to devote life to. Importance of the purpose is defined not by its urgency how people liked to put some idea this, always ready to be passed for someone else`s account and to turn mountains others hands. Necessary to them, but not you mountains. Importance is not defined also by popularity how the idea to decline all responsibility for the choice was attractive and to go the blazed roads. It is expensive - rather a means, than the purpose.
Importance is defined only by as far as that purpose which the person set before himself corresponds to his paradigm what role it plays in implementation of his biggest dream whether she confirms the natural principles. First of all for the person it is important to develop own understanding of the world, the paradigm - to find a support. In the second - to realize and learn to use the principles which will define its personal efficiency in interaction with other people and in achievement of the purposes. In the third - to place priorities to be sure finally: the objects set by it - matter, they are really important and useful.
Priorities are degrees of importance, an interesnost or complexity of different routes and points on our card - a paradigm. Depending on a priority, we choose what places it is interesting to visit and what are not necessary. We weigh, we lay a way - and we go forward.