How not to fall a victim of the manipulator? There are no
For certain, the person who at least once in life was not exposed to a manipulation. From it none of us manage to leave, but not to become the real puppet in hands of the skilled manipulator not to become dependent, it is worth knowing some secrets which those who wish to pull threads use, operating people.
An essence of manipulative activity - substitution of the true purposes, intentions false. But the one who appears the victim of the manipulator most often thinks that he sees original events and has the real feelings. The elementary manipulation - a concert under a soundtrack. We from the hall see how the singer, holding the microphone in hand, opens a mouth and, following logic as we hear singing, we think that he sings and right now. But it was the soundtrack, activity substitution is available. The people who are in the hall skillfully smanipulirovat - forced to believe that singing “ live “. We applaud, we admire a concert and the singer - that is we behave exactly as it is required to the manipulator. In it all essence of a manipulation - to achieve result, favorable to itself. And that the most important for manipulators - to make everything so that the one whom manipulate, thought that he arrives independently, voluntarily.
We told about the simplest method of manipulation, and now we pass to those methods which are used against us almost daily - at work, in shop, in a family.
About manipulations at work it is, actually, possible to talk endlessly. If the chief is able to pull skillfully strings, then he will dominate over subordinated. As a rule, the flattery is used. It is necessary to the chief that someone performed urgent work which will not be paid as overtime. He approaches the victim which is in advance chosen and speaks: “ On you all hope! As you will make it, nobody will make “. Familiar words? It is manipulation. If the request clothes in the words directly concerning your feelings is, undoubtedly, manipulation. The chief can tell that performance of this work is very important for firm, but “ to press “ on the fact that except you nobody will cope - not honestly.
If someone asks you about something and speaks: “ well for the sake of me! “ - it is manipulation. Most often so wives manipulate husbands, children parents. Remember: the manipulator works only with feelings. If you refuse to the manipulator - he right there will take offense: “ how, you do not want to help me? “. And already and it becomes a shame to us and it feel ill at ease: “ well I such not good “ and we agree. Do not try, women to manipulate the husbands in a bed. Psychologists say that to use the sexual relations for achievement of the purposes inadmissibly!
A manipulation sign - it is unpleasant to us, feeling of discomfort. Impose to us to make that we do not want, at the same time we subconsciously understand that we are used. It is possible before the same chief, or the girlfriend began to use us, we received small encouragement, or a gift. The feeling of awkwardness is replaced by feeling of gratitude and already we not to refuse forces to the one who marked out us the attention, sometimes before all collective, having encouraged with a valuable prize or the permit. And here the chief, having presented for kopek, through time begins to exploit us for ruble. And if also the relations became almost friendly, then to refuse to us becomes just impossible.
And that with us is done by skillful manipulators of trade! If earlier in our shops sellers reminded guerrillas on interrogation, then now, once you step over a threshold of shop, from all directions to you attentive sellers who in eager rivalry begin to extol you hurry. Also offer you without what, according to them, you will not be able just to live now, already everything, the people respecting themselves bought it. And what we most often do? We buy as it is inconvenient to us to leave without purchase, vedstolko time it was given personally to me, and let I did not buy what was offered, but nothing to buy - it is somehow inconvenient.
At sellers - and it is worth remembering it well - one purpose: sales volume on which their promotion and a salary depends. They are interested at all neither your taste, nor your figure which they can praise, offering clothes, convincing you that it to you very much goes, your deficiency of the family budget if you really buy that bagatelle which, according to them, on you very well looks.
The real, honest seller should not tread on your corns and feelings at all. What right the seller to you has to specify what you should try on and that to you to the person if you do not ask it about it? It is necessary to distinguish accurately where manipulate you not to dance to others tune and not to do precipitate purchases. When the seller speaks: “ It is possible to offer you a new collection which was delivered in shop only yesterday? “ it is the normal professional phrase. If you hear: “ I see, you are a good judge of elite things. We have a new collection which we offer only special buyers. I believe that it will be pleasant to you “. What is it? Of course, manipulation of the purest water.
So if you are afraid to offend the person is a sign that he tried to manipulate you. In the beginning the manipulator tries to force you to fall in love with it, then he, for the sake of this love begins to demand from you that it is necessary for it. The victims of manipulators most often are people who respect insufficiently and appreciate themselves. There is a mass of ways of polite refusal. Remember professor of Preobrazhenskoye from “ Heart of a Dog “ which refused to the manager of cultural department trying to sell it magazines in favor of children of Germany? Unless he was rough when he refused to buy them? No, he only answered: “ No, I will not take “. - “ You do not sympathize with children of Germany? “ - “ I Sympathize “. - “ So why? “ - “ I do not want “. There is a remarkable example as it is possible to stop manipulation. Each of us can use the right to tell “ is not present “ or “ I do not want “ if it is felt that try to manipulate us.
You remember one more - honesty and gravity - the main antidote of manipulations. It is possible to stop them if things to call by the names. The skillful manipulator - to the chief can be told: “ I appreciate your attention which you pay me, and your opinion is very important for me. But I cannot offer the relations with a family which will not be able to receive not only my attention on these days off as you ask me to work, but also means as you do not intend to pay this work as overtime “.
Know that not - the manipulator will understand you and will not begin to take offense, and the one who looked for benefit in the relations with you only for himself, it will and take offense, and in every possible way to show it - whether such relations are necessary to you? What it is more important for you - a personal liberty or flattery from morally unscrpulous people? To choose to you.
Make a right choice!