How to bring up the husband?
the Love boat crashed against life... How many married couples are ready to be signed under this phrase! Alas, toilet paper on a toilet bowl cover sometimes is more terrible threat to marriage, than an adultery. And as if girls did not convince themselves that, having married, they will not put for anything to themselves and the husband out from - for household problems, all this is impossible in any way.
Custom is second nature. You do not even imagine how it is difficult to refuse them! But feel fully when you try to teach the husband to put socks in this basket and to open a carton of milk scissors, but not a knife. He cannot understand in any way why you are so upset by unevenly picked polyethylene corner. Da Va also you cannot explain it, but you continue to be angry.
Many psychologists connect a problem of instability of modern marriages that they consist in quite late age. By 25 - 30 years you strongly created certain habits and to refuse them extremely difficult. And 20 - it is much easier for the summer woman “ to adapt “ under the husband. However too early marriages concluded till 20 years are also undesirable. At so tender age character and outlook on life were not created yet, and the person makes the choice unconsciously.
Wise mothers very often repeat to daughters: “ Remember - the man cannot be changed “. However to listen to mothers today it is unfashionable, and the unshakable truth can be learned only by own experience. As the heroine of popular series spoke, in the man it is possible to change only clothes and a hairdress and with it there are problems. If all of you still believe that the power of love is capable to cure the inveterate addict, to turn the rude fellow into the intellectual, and the idler in the hard worker, re-read “ Oblomov “.
“ Material “ of which the man is made, it is impossible to change. But it is possible it “ to facet “ by means of competent education. As a rule, the woman tries to make it method of constant reproaches. Alas, this way not only is inefficient, but also is extremely harmful. So to do? To neglect everything? Of course, no. It is necessary to be engaged in education, but by other methods.
First of all, estimate “ initial material “. Remember: if the man does not beat, does not drink, is not pricked, this is the good man. If he in addition is able to work and even to earn, this is the excellent man. The bulged ears and foolish words - trifles, similar to the picked carton of milk.
It is necessary to bring up the husband from the first day of a honeymoon. But women usually “ bethink “ a bit later, when the man already decided that it is not fated to wash the dishes and to vacuum a carpet to him. It is even up to one wedding better to find out whether the beloved with you is ready to divide household routine. Most of men, strangely enough, agree with what to help the wife about the house is not shameful.
Besides, it is necessary to understand what degree of purity and an ukhozhennost is necessary for it. Perhaps, from you only buckwheat with cutlet for dinner and cleaning by the washing vacuum cleaner of times a week will be required. It will be or perhaps necessary to wash twice a day the floors and to master secrets of Italian cuisine. In the latter case it is better to think whether it is worth connecting life with such person in general.
Sending the husband to shop behind products, you risk to receive not absolutely what was required. But you should not give up this thought. At first you go shopping together with it. So he learns what powder you prefer to erase and what oil to pour on a frying pan. Then be limited only to the list of products. Sooner or later the husband will catch regularities of your taste and will be able to pick up everything.
It is quite difficult to involve the beloved in cooking. Here it is possible to resort to cunning. Men very much love various cunning devices. Having got a fancy microwave and having represented that you cannot learn to handle it in any way, you will open for the husband a fine opportunity “ to show the class “. Only do not forget to admire culinary masterpieces! Gingerbread in family life is, as a rule, much more effective than a whip.
Instead of constant monotonous reproaches use logical arguments. For example, explain that if you have no time for yourself, you will quickly grow fat and you will become ugly.
Apply radical methods. If you do not like the husband`s clothes, do not reproach him with this every morning. Choose a moment and throw out old things from its case, having replaced new. You will manage at most one storm. Then the man will get used to new shape. However, you should buy clothes together with it that it did not buy a shapeless gray sweater again.
And never forget about a praise! The flower will never blossom if not to water it. Very many famous people said that they are obliged to the progress, generally to wives. It is not flattery and not aspiration to please, and ascertaining of the fact. If you constantly explain to the man that he is the best, to support in all undertakings, unostentatiously giving advice, he will find self-confidence and will rush to realize the talents. The result will not keep itself waiting.