Whether the friendship between the man and the woman is possible?
the Friend will not leave in trouble, superfluous will not ask, here that the true, loyal friend … means These words from a children`s song express the main idea put in a concept " basis; friendship “. But friendship to friendship discord. If men are on friendly terms, it causes respect, the female friendship causes admiration, and here if the man and the woman are on friendly terms, it arouses mistrust, fear and sometimes even indignation. What it is caused by and why “ is not present “ let`s understand together.
In - the first, the concept “ friendship “ for men and women have essentially different values. If the female friendship means the confidential relations in the basis, i.e., women like to unburden each other the heart, to give advice, to discuss not only female, but also man`s subjects, then man`s friendship is based on an act - men do not like to seem weak, they, in principle, do not speak much, it is simpler to them to make it. Remember whether often you see the man speaking by phone with the friend within an hour or moreover? Or the men discussing just forthcoming campaign on a football match?
In - the second, stereotypes, as well as a taboo, are very strong in our consciousness. The friendship between same-gender people to us is clear, acceptable, this phenomenon natural. Of course, the possibility of friendship between the man and the woman is obvious, from it not to get to anywhere because it takes place to be. Other question why some men seek friendship with the woman elsewhere, and women prefer to share the most different thoughts and experiences with the colleague - the man, and sincerely consider it the friend?
The situation is clear and transparent if on other bowl of scales there is a family. Friends often give us what, unfortunately, the family cannot give: for example, we can speak with them on subjects which in a family it is vetoed. These subjects most often concern ours not always the correct, adequate acts, feelings and experiences. For example, will not even come to the man to mind to tell the wife that he likes other woman, or that he lost the large sum in a casino, and sometimes to admit to the wife and close people that it is sick. And for the woman it is difficult to tell the husband that their sex is far from an ideal for a long time or that she wants to be alone.
Such outlets, both for the man, and for the woman, give rise to other type of the relations where mutual understanding, apparently, is absolute “ strangers “ people reaches apogee of the most true friendship. And it is not casual: of course, men can make something for each other, but they at the same time do not share secrets. They dismiss intimate ideas for the woman. And not always this woman appears their wife.
To friends - men the woman can turn “ sharp sides “ female nature to open for them that it hides from the girlfriends. “ In all friendly relations between the man and the woman somewhere it is hidden there is a sex, - the sociologist Lilian Rubin says. - It does such friendship especially attractive and even exciting. But the majority and men and women agree that the introduction presents big risk for friendship because sex causes aspiration to possession which is incompatible with friendship " to intimate relations;. Not each good friend can become a lover. Some men and women are capable to combine successfully friendship and sexual pleasure, but most of friends of a different floor carefully bypass all the time such opportunity.
A true friendship now a big rarity, ask yourself a simple question: who your best friends? It is sure, will keep itself to wait for the answer because strongly we put a lot of sense in a word meaning “ friendship “. The friendship cannot be divided by gender, people whom we consider as the friends - worthy, and differently it is impossible.