How it is correct to communicate with children? You Remember
when your child only learned to speak, he bothered, tired, pursued you the questions? As suddenly it happens so that ourselves become “ why-askers “ once our children become more adult. But questions at us some uninteresting in comparison with nurseries. Where went and with whom went and how are you at school and why came at the wrong time and when you bring order to the room? Whether remind you these interrogations, I`m sorry, questions a meeting not with the loving parents, and the investigator? And in general, whether it is possible to call it communication?
Children, as to all of us, adults, it is well known on own skin, for some reason like to be capricious and elicit to themselves what will forget in a second about. They do not think of the fact that we have not enough money for their whims that we are not wizards and we not always can according to their first requirement give to drink, feed, sleep to lay, deliver to the destination for a fraction of a second. It irritates us, we fly into a rage.
When the child does not obey you, it is possible to work differently. For us easier impulsively to shout at the little person, to crush him the noise, to punish that not only not to obey us, but also to live after that not really - that there was a wish. As a result badly not only to the child. We if in us remained still though a share human, will strongly endure and abuse ourselves too.
We will imagine such situation. You go with the child to shop, and it begins to elicit at you toys (everyone) or with a tarzanovy cry to rush on shop (broke loose). They say that some children are even pushed to the floor, heart-rendingly shout and fight the head about a floor when very much something is necessary to them. At once it is not necessary to react to such behavior, it is better to count at first to 10, and already then to work. Emotions aside.
we Do time. we Involve the child in socially useful work for the family benefit. In shop is, than to be engaged to any kid. It is possible to an exit in shop to make the list of purchases which are done by the child. Is not able to read - we draw. Will not run any more, to elicit too. There is a purpose.
to It is done two. If all - got noisy, then we express the disapproval of an act, but not the personality. “ It is not pleasant to me how you behave! Disturbs buyers when children rush on shop and shout “.
to It is done three. we Declare the expectations. “ I would like that you helped me. Then we would manage to take a walk, play, draw, to esteem still etc. “
we Do to four. If does not calm down, we provide the choice. “ Or you go quietly, or we leave shop and we buy nothing “.
we Do to five. If it does not help, we carry out action the fourth. That is, we leave home.
we Do to six. we Give an opportunity to the child most to test consequences of the bad behavior. For example, next time not to take it with itself, having reminded of his behavior. It can be made approximately so.
Child. Why it is impossible for me with you.
Parent. You can tell why.
Child. Because I ran on shop?
Parent. You correctly guessed.
Child. Forgive me. I more so will not be.
Parent. you still will have an opportunity to prove it.
It is so possible to arrive in any situation, at the solution of any problem. Using this algorithm, we not only find a common language with the (or other people`s children), but also we help the child to mature, we really bring up it action. We do not reprimand, we do not give positive examples from which I pound a little. Communicate more with children and, the main thing, live with them in peace and friendship in any situation!