How to resist to pressure?
Very often against us apply receptions which confuse us and do not allow us to assess a situation soberly. As a result we sign unprofitable contracts, we make promises which should not be given, and at the same time we do not even realize that all this is result of pressure, “ pressing “. Surprisingly, but many people who use these receptions do it intuitively, even without knowing about their existence. Let`s try to sort what receptions and as to fight against them are.
So, a way first which it is possible “ to demoralize “ the opponent and to force to make precipitate actions, psychologists call “ belittling of the status “. The essence of reception is reduced to the fact that the person belittles own interlocutor, wounds his self-esteem, switches its attention from important details on subjective which do not matter in the concept of the discussed question. In practice it looks differently. Better to understand that to what, we will consider this reception on an example.
Let`s say during important negotiations your opponent can make you the remark concerning negligence of appearance, the tousled hairdress, spots on a sleeve, excessive completeness - variations weight. The mechanism works simply - when do us the similar remark, our attention switches to ourselves, naturally at the same time we miss the mass of important details which are related to the transaction. Your attention is directed not to conditions which need to be discussed, any more not to obligations which undertake the parties, and on the made remark and everything that is connected with it (experiences, irritation, sense of guilt and other negative feelings). Therefore, hearing some similar remark which does not belong to business at all, think, for what purpose it was made, and treat transaction details more attentively.
Other options of such way of pressure are methods when intentionally do not meet you eyes, do not want to listen to what you tell, in certain cases begin to hint at influential communications, reduce your time for decision-making. These ways are directed to causing in you desire somewhat quicker to finish a meeting even to the detriment of themselves. And most often you quite so also arrive.
There is both thinner and cunning method of influence. For example, you should sign the important contract, you want to study it in the most attentive way, but your interlocutor suddenly switches your attention by a question harmless (at first sight). It can take an interest with what handle (peryevy or ball) you like to sign documents. Let`s say you out of politeness answer that you prefer a ball pen. Actually similar questions are even not questions, and reception “ false feeling of alternative “ or “ choice illusions “. In - the first, your attention was distracted a thing, it is perfect to business not relating, in - the second, offered you the choice without the choice. Many people very much highly appreciate interest in the person, and the similar question is raised in their soul by gratitude. Having answered a similar question, you as if recognized that you are going to sign the contract. You agree, that you want to sign the contract only ball pen …
Still option which psychologists call negative team. It works as follows, you say the phrase, for example: “ I want that nobody from sitting here during meeting looked at a door! “ Most of the present people will surely look at a door, the rest will struggle with the arisen desire to look towards a door. Similar reception can be applied also to you during business conversation. For example, your opponent says such phrase: “ Study, please, this contract very attentively, you understand that everything needs to be checked very carefully therefore do not relax and do not lose control. Presently so often deceive “ As a result your subconsciousness throws back particles “ not “ also receives teams - “ relax, lose control “. The only exit from this situation - to transfer consideration of the contract for other time, best of all the next day.
Psychologists claim that at our disposal there is a set of automatic programs which failure allows to give dressing down. Let`s review an example of action of one of them. Let`s consider usual handshake - you give a hand for handshake and expect that your interlocutor will shake it. But present that if he does not answer handshake or will take a hand for a wrist. Naturally you will become puzzled as you did not expect similar actions. Your opponent violated your program, you have no following item, a step to which it is necessary to pass. But also it is not everything if at the same time he gives certain dressing down (for example, “ it is the important transaction and it needs to be finished " exactly today;), you will accept this suggestion and will follow it. But if suggestion is not, you will just be in perplexity. Remember that any similar action (interrupting the program), causes a stupor at the time of which it is possible to give dressing down to a certain instruction.