From where children undertake?
This simple question said by the child for some reason always nonplus adults. Also begins “ baby talk “ about magicians, shop and cabbage with a stork … And why honestly not to tell: “ From " egg;? Same honest truth!
Life of each person begins when man`s and female gametes merge together. Also the one and only, impregnated ovum is formed. In it, distinguishable only under a microscope, all future is concluded: clear blue (gray, green) eyes, dense, curling (rare, direct) hair, long harmonous (curve, short) legs, a juicy birthmark over an upper lip, various talents (lack of talent) …
But where where all this is located? In a kernel of the impregnated ovum. More precisely, in those forty six chromosomes which will begin to direct development of a new organism.
All one second prior to fertilization in an ovum (a female gamete) there were 23 chromosomes. The spermatozoon (a man`s gamete) added the 23. And here them 46. And so in each cage of future organism (excepting sexual, always containing a half set of chromosomes). Neither it is more, nor it is less.
It is possible to tell, the magic number defining belonging to the human race. The deviation in any party involves the hardest illness or in general is incompatible with development and threatens with rejection of an ovum from a maternal organism.
Here you see how everything is simple. From the biological point of view which, in principle nobody prevents us to inform consciousness of the child (taking into account his age, of course: information has to be clear and available to the little person). And here morally usually adults are not ready to straight talks on this subject, especially, if before them any more not the kid, but the teenager.
By 10 - 12 years the child knows about " very much; everyday truth “ also needs more detailed data on sex. Today teenagers ripen much quicker, than at the time of our childhood. But physical growth is not followed by noticeable acceleration of development of the personality, formation of her moral bases. Yes, our children know more, than we at their age, but hardly they are able to feel and worry as adults.
Researches show that parents are in captivity of illusions concerning extent of sexual development of children. Sometimes it occurs because the sex subject is not touched in a family at all. Sometimes teenagers feel unwillingness of parents to notice their physical maturing. If you wait until the child dares to approach you with questions, you risk to be late. It is better to work with some advancing.
It does not mean that the five-years period should explain to the mechanic of sexual intercourse. It means that it is not necessary to consider the teenager incapable to understand at least the actual party of the sexual relations (with emotionally - moral aspects everything really is more difficult). Problems usually arise not from a lack of communication, and from lack of mutual understanding. Adults often mean one, tell another, and children catch something the third, very far from initial intentions of adults.
It is necessary to weigh carefully not only that you tell, but also as in what situation with what accents. All know: how the phrase is said, its sense can considerably change. This second plan of communication is very important when the speech comes about sex. Even silence can make a certain sense. Silence of the teenager can mean: “ Sex does not interest Me “ or “ I and so know everything about it “. Silence of parents can be understood by the child as: “ Sex - the forbidden subject “ or “ Parents are not interested in my life “.
It is possible to be distressed long concerning difficulties of communication with teenagers. But, all - adults should understand that children, as well as all people, have the right for own feelings, judgments, mistakes irrespective of, adults like it or not. Therefore try to avoid derisive and critical statements to the child, his appearance, habits, interests. Except strain of relations, it will bring nothing. It is better to overpraise it, than to disregard a worthy act. It will pull together you with the child that in turn will simplify your task in communication on sex subjects.