How to solve an eternal generation gap?
Are amazing to what in different measurements there live adults and their growing-up children! And matter is not that 15 - summer young men and girls are too thoughtless and irresponsible as parents often complain, and not that adults too seek to control children as children consider. Just each of them acts in in advance registered, “ approved “ roles, without being able to depart from unclear whom the thought-up scenario.
Similar “ communication “ it is similar to experiences of the heroes of the famous fairy tale who were long looking at the world through green points and sacredly believing that walls of houses are decorated with the real emeralds. Whether it is necessary to remind that indignation was the first reaction to a meeting of heroes with reality in this fairy tale: “ But same deception! “.
Here and at children with parents: or the child was tired of misunderstanding of parents, or parents, are concerned by estrangement of the child. I think, the situation when, sincerely caring for the child is familiar to each parent, he much and correctly speaks about need to study, about difficulties of modern life etc., but these words “ go to emptiness “. And almost each child can remember how, telling about the pleasures and victories, violently and enthusiastically, he hears from parents about estimates instead of being glad together with him. Really how here to rejoice if SUCH estimates! In other words, the Reality of the Parent does not coincide with Reality of the Teenager at all. And it is quite clear that in Reality of the Teenager the reciprocal feeling of the favourite young man, or quarrel with the close friend, or not understanding of people around is much more important than some assessment. Just in 15 - 16 years of people it is so arranged. And if wise mother or the father remember themselves at this age, then most likely it will appear, as to them there was something similar.
Unfortunately, it is frequent instead of understanding and accepting that other person also is arranged in a different way, he begins to be changed. It seems to me if children and parents traded places, then they could understand each other. On this idea even the movie " was shot; Mad Friday “ in which it was told how mother and her fifteen-year-old daughter cannot find a consent in anything - clothes, hairdresses, music well and, of course, men - everything becomes a subject of their infinite disputes. But two cookies from the Chinese restaurant magically force them to spill Friday morning and to find out that they exchanged bodies. Only after that everyone understood life delights.
If it was possible to make also in the real life so. And here psychological center “ Here and Now “ found this way - to change to parents and teenagers of their role. Psychologists of the center had an idea to carry out in lyceum in which they worked, detsko - PTA meeting in the form of training on formation of team. It would allow to help children, to parents to establish new, closer relations, to rally, become uniform team, to learn to interact, solve structurally important both for children, and for adults of a problem.
Children constantly reproach parents that they are obliged to love us, so, to fulfill our requirements, parents ask freedoms from children. Focus of training was that it was offered to parents to consider (and to play) problems from the child`s position, and to children - from a position of parents. So psychologists provoked revival “ childishnesses “ - at adults and understanding of responsibility at children. “ Children “ however, 40 - 50 summer, still asserted the right for freedom, and “ parents “ in our case, 15 - summer young men and girls, called for responsibility and rationality etc. Parents and children, though traded places, but sounded the same roles, as always. Thanks to an exchange, children and parents found love, mutual understanding, sincere feelings, understanding that it is possible to communicate in a different way, and experience of how to do it …
is not always easy to Understand other person, but it is always possible. It is just necessary to rise on its place and to take a detached view of any problem. And the parental love and understanding is the most important in life. On the way home you have to know that you will accept any there, it what you are. Bad you or good - it is all the same because you came to the family.