How to react to unfair criticism?
Would be fine if others criticized us only for the valid mistakes. However we exist not in the best of the worlds. And we live among people who are not always ready friendly in relation to us.
get rid Of a negative emotional charge most often the fact that transfer him as if a ball, to someone to another. When the world is not lovely to you also not all “ o`ky “ in the personal plan, it becomes easier for you after you shout at somebody.
Sometimes something is not pleasant to you in the person, however you are afraid or to you painfully it is hard to say to him about it in open. The farther, the stronger it irritates you with the behavior, and here, having used some pretext, happens, in the most trifling occasion, you fall upon it with such criticism that windowpanes jingle.
There are among us people with weak belief in own forces, but at the same time rather aggressive, for them foreign trouble always in pleasure. In a word, being sick as a dog, they seek to prove to other person that he even more nikchemen, than they are. Principle here idle time. Not to consider himself as the most great fool on light, it is necessary to find the one who is sillier and by that to give it a palm tree of shameful superiority.
A special satisfaction from criticism is taken by envious persons. At heart at them it becomes very good when they have an opportunity to hurt the one who is envied. For the aforesaid purposes of the critic always near at hand. Meanwhile it will it is unlikely be found in the world of people which there is nothing would be to criticize. At least for the reason that all of us can estimate the same phenomena differently.
As first aid to the victim of unfair criticism we suggest to use the " equipment; open door “. The situation when criticizing as if tries to break open the locked door from running start is symbolically reflected in the name of this reception, and it swings open before it wide open, and it flies inside.
Reception is as follows:
1) Try to understand that in the message criticizing is true and that represents its subjective, quite often relating to the sphere of morals assessment of this or that fact. For example: “ You were not at the hairdresser nearly a year! “. As the fact this remark can be fair. Meanwhile very clearly criticizing lets know that supposedly to the hairdresser only those women who do not care for the appearance do not go and look as unkempt slobs. In fact, this matter of taste to go to the hairdresser or not. " equipment; open door “ assumes reaction only to the true fact. Yes, a pier, I did not drop in in a hairdressing salon rather long time. But in a certain measure it is some kind of communication game with fire as the addressee, of course, understands that he was going to tell criticizing: you, say, look bad and slovenly.
2) Agree with everything that is fair, and also plausibly and in general reasonably looks in attack of criticizing.
3) Answer briefly, that is only a simple consent on approved by the criticizing party. In our example from a hairdressing salon the answer is already given above: “ Yes, I did not drop in in a hairdressing salon... “. It is no more, but also it is not less. Any explanations about the fact that supposedly there was no time, money and God knows what else.
4) Remain calm and collected; having seen that you are lost, criticizing it will be satisfied and inspired by you on further criticism. He will read tension and fear in your eyes. But the irony and sarcasm are capable to do a bigger harm. Then it will already be a question not of the " equipment; open door “ and about reciprocal criticism.
5) Treat attacks to you selectively. What absurd would not be afforded by criticizing, concentrate the attention on what comprises rational grain, only on it and react.
Agreeing with criticizing without any fear, we will force it to become silent sooner or later. The matter is that the groundless faultfinding he solves nothing, seizes nothing and corrects nothing. He wants to take control only of us, to manipulate, and eventually and to humiliate us. At best, wishes that we became dependent to it and danced to his tune. We do not give this pleasure to it, and he reconciles to situation after a while.