WHERE to behave?
Any person in the life did not avoid reminders or instructions that it is necessary to behave himself. It adults on the street, parents speak at home, the teacher at school …
As a rule, you receive these remarks for the fact that you did not tell “ thanks “ “ hello “ or “ excuse “. What turns out? If we learn to insert into the speech these " in time; magic “ words, we are already able to behave? At first sight it seems to us that it so.
Then tell me why we have in life so many problems, disputes, misunderstanding why we often do not understand each other? Probably, business is much more difficult, so insufficiently only the nobility “ magic “ words. Often it turns out that not only children and teenagers, but also adults are not able to behave, and they - that it seems have to understand that to what.
Why does that happen? Most likely, because we almost never ask ourselves a question: “ Where messages? “ This question assumes expression “ to behave “. And the answer to it is an understanding of what I want to reach the behavior. Here I do not speak about serious acts or problems, about it is that we, just, reflect. Yes besides, we weigh each step, we try to track consequences, we think over all trifles.
I talk about our everyday actions, words, mimokhodny remarks. Whether always we can accurately give the prolonged conversation another turn or interrupt it, without having offended the interlocutor? It is correct to refuse councils which do not suit us? It is polite to respond to roughness?
And here remember the moments when the help of another was suddenly necessary for us, sometimes absolutely the stranger (for example, learned the road in the unfamiliar place or asked cellular to make an urgent call). Proper words were easily, and we did not forget to speak “ be so kind as “ or “ thanks “ because clearly represented before themselves the purpose.
But even in such situations the objectives are not always achieved, there are not enough volition, also ability to communicate is required. You remember, the result of communication depends on two - from you and from that with whom you communicate therefore behave so that wanted to communicate with you:
in - the first, do not order (nobody ever loves commanders and mentors); to
in - the second, listening, listen (to the interlocutor your readiness seriously is important to understand his problem, but in soul if do not let, do not climb);
in - the third, smile and laugh when it is really ridiculous, but not just like that
(- a sign … you know laughter without the reason what);
in - the fourth, learn to do without sharpness and a categoriality;
and in - the fifth, you aspire not to a victory, and to truth and the world (the world brings composure).
In a word, behave as you would like that others behaved. And then people around will say that you the one who is able to behave. And always want to communicate with such person (can be, will even follow an example of you). Good luck to you!
On article " materials; Whether you Are able to behave? “. Authors: psychologists Ekaterina Dubovskaya, Irina Ulanovskaya.