Cats of the city of St. Petersburg: “ The Cat - the show “
Soon after improbable, but absolutely true story with the alien Barsik was called by Dusik.
- How life kotovy? - Dusik asked.
- It is worse.
- And what so?
- You represent, yesterday the owner declared that I am worse than the piracy version of the ninety eighth “ Windows “. That, you see is buggy less.
- And you counted that it on knees will put you and behind ears will begin to scratch? Wait! I asked additives here. So the hostess the successful fellow …
- the Broom?
- Worse. Calculator. Also began to consider how many them in a month my pro-forage costs. I to it politely so noticed that the pro-forage of the owner is much more expensive. I eat three times a day. Well, four. And it, sidyuch at the computer, constantly something crackles or something chews. And even thanks will not tell me that behind it I pinch crumbs from a carpet.
- They grudged a forage, - Barsik frowned. - You know, I sometimes think: here I will spit all these pathetic master`s favor and I will go to live to the cellar.
- Well, it you, the brother, was enough, - Dusik responded. - Emotions leaped. I for the sake of experiment got recently into a trash can look whether something food is absent.
- And how?
- Products of the fourth freshness. Besides, fastened so many aromas on wool that then it was necessary to climb in a bathtub. By master`s shower gel it was washed and the hair dryer dried. B - rr!
- For the sake of freedom it is possible and to suffer, - Barsik objected.
- We create freedom to ourselves. Here I, for example, now will go on a cat - show.
- Current - show?
- Current - shows happen at people. And we have a cat - show. Remember the address …
the Cat - show happened on the waste ground where once something was wanted to be constructed, but were not constructed. The ditch and the left unfinished base half grassed, having created quite cozy amphitheater. On all its tiers multi-colored and variegated cats, cats and kittens - teenagers sat and lay. Barsik wanted to make the way closer to the chipped concrete plate serving as a scene, but Dusik rolled up the head and dragged the friend on a gallery. Soon they were near a fat dymchato - gray a tomcat. That occupied by itself(himself) a fair piece of a parapet, and the tail dymchato - a gray snake disappeared in a grass.
- We what, could not choose the place better? - Barsik grumbled.
- It is also the best place, - Dusik whispered. - I go here only for the sake of Marquis Marquizytcha`s comments. - He moved with an ear dymchato aside - a gray cat. - So displays leaders on tails that it is a pleasure.
While Dusik with Barsik took seats, on a scene the striped Siamese cat with a coquettish bow on a neck appeared.
- It who? - Barsik asked.
- Polyglot. Local sight.
- A local dostoboltatelnost, - Marquis Marquizytch murlyknut.
- Whether still will be! - in a whisper Dusik promised.
- the Dearest pussycats! Expensive cats! Our lovely kotyatka stepping to us on heels! Warmly I welcome you on ours a cat - show. I will begin not with the most cheerful news. My workmate Musya - Pusya as a result of careless handling of the refrigerator …
- Really fell asleep a lethargical sleep? - joyfully Marquis Marquizytch assumed.
- Not witty, colleague! Musya - Pusya ate too much master`s ice cream, and it has quinsy of the second degree now.
- One silly woman it is less, - Marquis Marquizytch so joyfully muttered.
- Therefore, dear listeners, I will occupy you today. As you know, my broad specialization - science. Including - philology. Also we will say about how there is a lot of in language of people of words in which, figuratively speaking teeth and claws vgryzlos and the word " seized; cat “. It would be extremely tempting to go deep into etymology of all these words, but I will not risk to abuse your attention and I will pass to impressive examples.
Marquis Marquizytch moved with an ear.
- I hope, words an uppercut and koverkot are familiar to all of you. Actions at the exchange - and those Are quoted. I do not speak about such tasty word as Cutlet any more … You do not agree, the colleague?
- Just remembered one old respectable humorist. It has a boy - the grammar-school boy of all exasperates with a question: “ Why the CAT - summer, but not a CAT - winter? “
- Remark beside the point. So, I continue …
- And if in essence, - Marquis Marquizytch yawned, - would be not bad to consult a dictionary and to look how these “ cats “ actually are written and from where undertake.
Did not hear these words Polyglot any more. It let out everything new and new “ cats “. Some kitties enthusiastically to it clapped. Near Barsik the kotenochny teenager who was dragged by portly Angora mummy sat. It was boring for a kitten. Having clamped in a paw a fragment rusty nailing, he scratched on WISKAS concrete, ignoring not a superfluous letter N in this word.
Marquis Marquizytch pricked up the ears and hoarsely mewed.
- Do not attract the word " for a tail; catharsis “ - it was always written through A. I in general why to the dearest Polyglot not to please us with examples from the native language of local people? In it there are charming words: Kettle, HICCUPS and such word simple, clear to all cattle.
- It is provocation! - the Polyglot curved a back.
- It is worse, than provocation! - the three-colored cat mewed from average ranks. - This celebration of inequality, celebration of an undeserved eminence of cats and deliberate belittling of cats. All of you, cats, such!
- Show it, Kysya, mice in peas! - approvingly other cats began to mew.
- Finish a market! - the black cat with a gold anti-flea collar bellowed.
- And it still who? - Barsik asked.
- Murlon Bando. Controls a half of neighboring garbage cans. Dangerous person. And Kotka at it is a match.
On a concrete plate of Kysya, terribly swinging a tail, approached the Polyglot, demanding respect of the rights of cats.
- Kysya, keep the forces for meetings of koshkinistka! - Marquis Marquizytch shouted it. - And then, word “ cat “ it is so original and unique that you will not fasten it anywhere: neither in the beginning, nor in the end, nor in the middle.
- Give everything - we will return to the philological course of our meeting, - the Polyglot offered.
- It will not turn out, the dearest, - Marquis Marquizytch quietly objected.
- Why? - having taken courage, Barsik asked.
Instead of Marquis Marquizytch`s answer it is lazy waved a tail somewhere to the left.
- So I also knew, - mummy of the kotenochny teenager gasped. - A scent feels.
On a path to the place a cat - show the bony aunt with a dachshund on a lead moved. The dachshund was the middle of the last century, long and very similar to the American car.
- You know it? - asked at Dusika Barsik.
- I do not remember a name, and a nickname at it - Chumka. Activist of Fund of Sharikov. The dachshund is called the Dog - Ru.
- From the Chumky joke are bad. And a dachshund - from the same domain.
- Now to us to a pepper podsyplt, - Marquis Marquizytch announced. - And the Polyglot has that a continuous presnyatina.
- It what, will disperse us? One, with this small insect? - Barsik was surprised.
- That you. It has other methods.
- And at what here some Sharikov`s fund? Marquis Marquizytch`s
clasped with paws the head.
- A young cat, really you do not read classics? Really this name tells nothing to you?
- There was in the past such kotonenavistnik, - Dusik whispered. - To tell long. But came to a bad end. Like a dog.
Chumka stopped steps in twenty from the base and too like a dog sniffed. The dog - Ru gave a yelp and just in case nestled on a master`s pant leg. Chumka pulled out the cell phone from a jacket.
- Hallo! Operotdel of fund of Sharikov? Call to me Clothilda Martemyanovna. Urgently … So pull out it from meeting … Clothilda Martemyanovna? Yes, it I. Immediately send group of capture … I promise, this time you will take lukewarm.
- Well, it still there is no telling how things will turn out, - was murlyknut by Marquis Marquizytch.
- What the group of capture means is in a condition of the second sobriety? - discontentedly Chumka asked.
A dog - Ru for some reason rose on hinder legs and began to whimper.
- Well, send in such look in what they are. I wait.
It is known that Cheshire Kot disappeared, leaving the smile. A cat - show dissipated, without having left Chumke of any, even the most poorish smile. Other well-known cat - the Hippopotamus - said about extraordinary antiquity of the kotovy tribe. And therefore the kotovy tribe davny - acquired long ago wisdom: “ Against scrap there is no reception “. Even if the scrap goes on two legs and is able to speak by the cell phone.
As the fates decree Dusik and Barsik came to be on fragments of an intricate concrete design together with Marquis Markizychem and through its cuts saw the final … From the crummy minibus painted in it is poisonous - green color, fell out three men in masks and with bags in hands. After them the sheep-dog jumped out. All disappeared in a ditch that in a couple of minutes to appear again. Men, having torn off masks, gave Chumke the comments about cancelled operation. It is not possible to reproduce comments as the most decent words were " there; threw “ and “ opokhmelka “. Then “ aggressors “ began to demand compensation for a false call from Chumka. While people sorted out the relations, the sheep-dog for the unclear reasons for cats bit for a side the Dog - Ru.
Having snatched out from Chumki`s hands of several crumpled pieces of paper, “ aggressors “ slapped a door of the minibus and left. Chumka and slabopokusanny Dog - Ru remained one. And then the neighboring waste ground was announced triumphing many-voiced “ meow “.
- Sik transit, - Marquis Marquizytch murmured and slowly started wandering back home.
Recently I learned that the Fund of Sharikov stopped the existence. Clothilda Martemyanovna goes on big and small chiefs, calls herself “ veteran of a dekotization “ also demands a personal pension. Chumka switched to fight against sealing building. And a cat - shows still happen all on the same waste ground, accompanied with malicious remarks of Marquis Marquizytcha.