How it is correct to change?
Having laid aside discussion that there is a change for each specifically person, we will talk about change as an integral part of joint life. Why “ integral “? The author already hears shouts of the angered readers: “ Yes I! Yes never in life! “. And here let`s consider change types, and only after it we will count our wounds.
Part 1. Theoretical.
So, changes it is possible to classify on the following types (and subspecies).
1. Change is classical. On the party gets the novel. So serious that this love differs from the main relations only in lack of a stamp in the passport and official announcement before the family. Couple has the general house, the general children, the general purse, the general pastime. Usually the woman in such couple considers herself “ wife “ though men - statistically - are represented by bachelors.
As subspecies it is possible to consider the change without acquisition by the general economy and the general children but having the regularity in the relations lasting rather long time fed by promises “ here now I will divorce, and we with you will begin to live really “. Sometimes it occurs. Then from a rank of change of the relation pass in a row the official relations, and to our article are already uninteresting.
2. Change is casual. it is Also known to the world under the term “ holiday romance “. Change of a situation, the southern wine in the head, the handsome in swimming trunks (well, or the beauty in bikini) - meets morning the heavy head and in an unfamiliar bed. In classical option lasts before the end of resort voyage, leaving behind pleasant memories. At continuation of acquaintance out of sea conditions most often comes to an end with disappointments in the handsome (or the beauty). Change is easy, but it is impossible to consider it as the best view from hellbenders because of prevalence on the left. The probability is high that you will be accused of change even if provalyalis alone on the beach all two weeks of holiday, without tearing off a look from the line of the sea horizon. The fact of rest alone is a serious proof.
As subspecies of change casual it is possible to consider also the office romance which happened after a corporate party on New Year`s Eve. Its feature - impossibility with an accuracy to tell whether there was something in - about - it with that colleague (that colleague), and whether really you used the storeroom for storage of brooms as the place of an intimate meeting.
3. Change by office need. For change can be not considered because it - like collecting references for the new place of work. Splashed the press - received a new position. Feature: it is made only on the sober head (and in direct, and figuratively), feelings and emotions at the same time do not join in process. Well, unless negative.
As subspecies of this type of change it is possible to consider " option; change as necessary “. Let`s tell, an official half went to long-term business trip (short-term holiday), and the nature of the character who remained alone presses for the. Or an official half prefers to sleep month on a folding bed, perhaps, in the educational purposes. Then change becomes a necessity. In especially started cases can pass into the category “ change classical “.
4. Change is experimental. Most often people that is called " use it; not had done with the youthful follies in youth “. Having poor life experience in communication with an opposite sex - fell in love in kindergarten, truly there passed for the handle everything school days, got married right after a graduation party. And suddenly the seditious thought comes to mind: but whether the choice was wrong? And suddenly in other kitchen garden carrot is more sweet?! Also the series of experiments come. This type of change most often masks under a look “ change casual “. Usually passes completely because of understanding that “ carrots everywhere identical “. Though enriches vital (including, sexual) with experience.
5. Change is virtual. Is not present, I not about that type of change when you turn on the computer, you climb on the specialized websites and you examine pictures, using make-shifts. It - only subspecies of this look. Virtually all change. For this reason in introductory part the phrase " was used; integral part of our life “. Here you looked at the nice pedestrian, here thought “ And what it in a bed? “ - and virtually changed the official half. And bought couple of movies with a mark of XXX, saw film masterpieces, having excited from what was seen - here and again virtually changed. Without saying about what was glanced in a shower not so much with the purpose to be washed how many slightly to have a rest soul and a body (in the phrase the logical accent falls on the word “ body “ …). Any thoughts and actions which are not connected with an official half can be considered as change.
As subspecies it is possible to consider also flirtation with the new colleague, and excitement when reading romance novels / looking at a porn - magazines, and erotic dreams and bed imaginations where the character is suspiciously similar to the neighbor in a staircase - all this virtual changes. Change virtual is good the fact that nobody ever learns about it. It gives feeling of variety of sexual life though, of course, cannot replace change real. Most often remains only in the head though at a certain combination of circumstances can pass into the types specified under points 1 - 4.
Well which of readers can sincerely tell what it never - never changed virtually?. I am afraid that nobody. Other question whether he considers as change the erotic imaginations …
Part 2. Practical.
Before starting the act of change, it is necessary to realize accurately all its pluses and minuses. Study two lists.
List 1. What main advantages of change (any kind)?
- You learn the world in all its variety.
- your life stops being boring in the monotony and predictability.
- In your blood raises adrenaline level that promotes increase of mood.
- your life experience is added by numerous technical details and a delicacy.
- Raises a self-assessment.
- Become stronger the main relations.
- Positively influences appearance.
List 2. Now about change shortcomings.
- with well developed conscience can be tormented with its ugryzeniye, and then all positive moments of change are reduced to zero.
- in case of change detection an official half can refuse to be that, as a result will remain “ on beans “ also it is necessary to recognize with bitterness that game of candles did not cost.
- At non-compliance with safety rules can be consequences and for physical health. Though it is easy to avoid it, but it is necessary to mention in the section of shortcomings nevertheless.
- in the absence of skill of change can inspire in an informal half false hopes. And then it is possible to lose control over a situation.
Rules of good change.
For a start: what is “ good change “? It is that change which has all advantages listed in the list number 1 (see above) and has no shortcoming from the list number 2 (see above). Proceeding from it, it is possible to output rules.
1. Change has to be made exclusively of own will changing.
2. Change has to be well prepared. It has to bear in itself the accurate purposes (to refresh sexual experience, to receive a leading role in advertizing of laying, to revenge incorrect). It has to be made with that person at whom these purposes are defined not less accurately, and which has no far-reaching plans for changing.
3. Change has to be well disguised. It is the most difficult to disguise a holiday romance. Therefore do not change during holiday. It is better to find for this time in working everyday life, having found a convincing justification of the absence on a workplace and at home.
4. Change has to be limited in temporary space. Achievement of a goal cannot last for years. Month - another is quite enough for development of a necessary dose of adrenaline. And it is the best of all to finish change on the most high note - subsequently to remember ecstasy of ecstasy, but not bitterness of the cooled-down coffee.
5. Change has to bear fruit. That it was not painfully a shame with aimlessly spent energy, it is necessary to draw conclusions. Whether the goal is achieved? Whether there was an official half in careless ignorance? Whether experience repetition is required?
6. Change has to bring only positive emotions. To all parties concerned. Even if one of the parties is not aware that she participates in change (I tell it about ignorance of an official half). Finally all have to be happy. You and that with whom you carry out the act of change - all its advantages (see the list number 1 above). Your official half (and an official half of that with whom you carry out the act of change) - the fact that you became suddenly so emotional and beautiful, vigorous and inventive.
If you feel, that not in forces to cope with change process, that you will want to fall in legs changeable and to admit to it everything (by the way, extremely wrong tactics!), you should not even begin. Stop on a look “ change virtual “ then wolves will be full, and sheep are whole.