What to do if the child does not equal our hopes?
Very often future parents in small details represent the child.
Some want only the girl with enormous eyelashes, surely thin and flexible. All boys will be crazy about it. Let`s send her to the ballet … and to gymnastics … and surely Italian …
A others consider that the boy, High, courageous, the defender is better. It is similar to the father. Will be engaged in judo and chess, and to write verses, and obligatory mathematics …
But all this dreams. It is good if they come true though partially. And if is not present?
Wanted the strong boy, and the girl turned out. And not such all air, but clumsy, muscles in a tone, congenital squint. And any other problems.
I here policlinic became as a home. Sleepless nights, tears, paid doctors, massages and drugs.
I feeling of dissatisfaction at parents: we so tried … Unless it we are worthy?
Sense of guilt and mistrust to each other: can, the spouse has a bad heredity? And the wife not so does everything, and the husband is engaged in a family a little … As Mayakovsky told: “ the family boat crashed against life “. However, did not break yet, but it is harder and harder to live, the discontent with each other and the child increases.
And the child - that of what thinks? Here at Olechk`s neighbors of a song sings. And Dimka was sent to the developing group, there children dance and listen to music. And when we persuaded to take our daughter in this studio (and money considerable paid), she seized mother and in any. It was necessary to take away it home.
Well in whom it is such?
As she will live?
I what now to do?
Such questions very often arise at parents. We look at surrounding children, and we want that also ours dithat was not worse. And it is desirable - better. More cleverly, more beautifully, stronger, is more talented … That it all loved
, and the future would be spread by a red carpet.
But parents feel that the child not such what saw in dreams. Also begin to persuade, to go on doctors, to shout, cry, punish.
Than is more senior the child, the difference between dream and reality becomes more visible to those.
Unfortunately, a sex of the child, color of eyes, growth it is impossible to remake. But often parents consider that all another - is possible and it is even necessary to change.
For example, at mother did not turn out to become the singer, so in due time let though the daughter will realize mother`s dream. Not the, notice, and mother`s.
I is unimportant that a voice silent, breath weak, hearing not really. No matter, that the child wants to draw or read books. Let works, let sings. Mother will invest all forces and money, will get out of skin of wons, but will achieve the.
It is considered that from the child it is possible to create everything that you want. The child is a wax, pliable material.
But when this wax begins to resist when it turns out that it has the opinion and the desires … Here fight begins. And in this fight there cannot be winners.
We go to the doctor, to the psychologist, to teachers: “ The Child is too silent, too stubborn or too pugnacious. The main thing - it not such as I want! “
But unless the child is guilty of it?
And if the child does not resist mother`s desires? Obediently goes, sings or dances. Is it good? If at heart there is an opinion that mother knows better, mother is always right. And the fact that it is impossible, so it I such bad not able and unlucky. Who considered how many complexes turn out in such situations? And whether the child doing what was told by parents will be happy?
cannot be a definite answer Here.
Each person has something, put since the birth. Some lines of the personality, unclear from where the taken addictions, features of mentality and many other things.
If the person by the nature silent, then it, most likely, is not soul of the company.
But whether it will be the suppressed and diffident person or the person whose unostentatious opinion is important for the people surrounding it - it depends on education and on people who will meet on its way.
Here, mothers and fathers, show flexibility, help the child to become by itself, but not it what you would like to see it.
A task of parents - to help the child to realize what was put in him by the nature, to help to expose the main traits of character, to show abilities and to develop talents. And, above all - it is simple to
to love. To love it what turned out even if it does not correspond to dreams and ideals of parents. Without love the good person cannot grow up.
is necessary to Children love. It is necessary to all: to both hooligans, and modest men, and poor students, and excellent students. It is our children. And they are not guilty of anything. They have ahead a difficult life. Give
in process of forces we will help them.