How not to pay attention to opinion of people around?
All world surrounding us is built on stereotypes which deeply settled in consciousness of each of us. All our life, in fact, represents comparison of the actions to how they will be apprehended by the people surrounding us. As far as it is correct and how it is easier and simpler to live? Let`s try to look at these questions from the different parties and to be engaged in small introspection. One wise man told
: “ If you pay attention to public opinion - you are not confident in the forces “. Now I use this phrase everywhere. She really helps to live. I got off mind " long ago; and that will think of me … “.
Radislav Gandapas, the most famous public statements coach, somehow told: “ Don`t be afraid! Himself cannot be played! “. And it is valid, indeed. Everything that is done by us, people around perceive exactly as we perceive it and ourselves imagine. Once I presented all the failures to people around as real failures, they it is available. Unless it is good public relations? When I began to represent obvious, apparently, failures as the planned step and to speak about it with full confidence, people around began to perceive it exactly as it was broadcast by me. Naturally, the authority at people around in that case grows up, you get additional forces and self-confidence.
And I was helped with it by one good example. You know, there is such sport - a cycle trial when by bicycle you jump from one obstacle on another, move and so forth. And so, one athlete decided to set up a world record on range such “ trips “ on stones at falls. The commission gathered, the television, certainly, was a great number of sponsors. The cyclist proprygat literally 2 stones and fell in water. What would be made by the ordinary person on his place? Would rise, took away the bicycle and left with a shame. And you know what was made by the athlete? He got up, and with shouts “ yes! “ waved a hand! It managed to pass WHOLE (but not ALL) two stones! The audience applauded! It was the success! So was several times, and not disappointed audience, and the commission welcomed the world record-holder. And what would be otherwise? Correctly, the cyclist would take away the equipment and left … - for hundred percent it would be possible to speak about the end of his career. Sponsors would not give money any more, the television any more would never arrive …
When I provide in the company internal trainings on sales, I always ask sales managers: what you have fears? What you are afraid of? I receive the mass of answers, but all of them, anyway, are brought together to those stereotypes about which I spoke right at the beginning. It is possible to get rid of it, requisitions of itself. I offer several main ways of behavior for acquisition of self-confidence.
Pay attention as in supermarkets buy condoms. Observe. Most of people looks for empty cash desk, they look back so that nobody saw, throw a box to themselves in a basket and when the cashier punches them, turns away, type: “ Oh. Even I do not know how they got … here. “. Why it occurs? Stereotypes!, It seems, everything is normal, but we are afraid: and that people around will think as they will look at us of us. Try to ask a question to the one who, as well as you, stands in a queue upon purchase of condoms. Ask: “ you do not know, normal? “. Ask the same question to the cashier. What will be reaction of people around? Now they will awkwardly feel, but not you.
From - for the fact that we are afraid of something a number of problems arises. We lose. We did not offer ourselves to a position of the head of department - this a position someone held another, we were afraid to tell about increase in a salary - to us it did not lift, we did not invite the girl in restaurant - she was invited by someone another … Whether it is necessary for you? it is easy for
to tell: I am self-assured I do not pay attention to 100% and for anybody. But not always it so. Unfortunately. To convince itself as of the famous movie: “ I the most charming and attractive … “ - almost useless occupation. Work on yourself in practice.
1. Reveal the fears. They for certain are. Be honest before yourself.
2. Analyse them. Why you are afraid of this or that?
3. Present what can occur the worst otherwise. The earth will cease to rotate around the sun? You will be put in prison? Will point a finger at you on the street? It is unlikely ….
The biggest problem even not that we have some fears and fear, and that we do not want it to recognize, and, therefore, and to fight against it. Much of what we do is accompanied by
by public opinion. It is impossible to argue with it. Our behavior is discussed at work - it is the fact, but in this case, during the work in collective you should operate rumors, and they have no relation to fears - it is other subject.