How to become the well-mannered person?
“ Ill-bred “ and “ nervous “. As often these concepts serve as an assessment of the same acts. And it is not casual. In minutes when we, being nervous, lose over ourselves control, not the best parties of our character and education are bared. And people who can brag of good character or ideal education, as a rule, it do not do.
To understand when these or those acts are connected with frustration of nervous system and demand competence of the doctor and when they no other than education costs, - a task difficult. Here therefore it happens that the sick person sometimes gets undeserved reputation of ill-bred. Ill-bred uses our condescension because convinced all around, and, first of all, himself that all this from “ nerves “.
The nervous person in use call irritable or violently reacting to any events, that is the one who, as a rule, splashes out the emotions. The same who endures the incident in himself, consider quiet, balanced. However the neuropsychiatrist will find in both of these groups also the patients (that is, people with boundary forms nervously - mental disorders), and quite healthy people.
Life demands from us continuous self-checking. Education puts ability of the person to define that it is possible that it is impossible what to pay attention to, without reacting externally. This ability to behave according to the standard norms changes with age. To the child who only learns to own the emotions or to the old person at whom ability to control itself is weaker, some acts are pardonable.
For the mature person of flash of irritability or the periods of unreasonable gloom can be the cause to think of the character. Many psychiatrists define character as narrow-mindedness of the mental organization of the personality. For this reason to remake character it is impossible. But it is possible to learn to close the weaknesses, to learn to be self-controlled.
If you feel that a lot of things irritate you if you “ you flash “ for the least thing, recognize for a start that it does not decorate you. And then make a step towads to yourself: try to change the behavior. The. You do not seek to change surrounding people that with them it was easy and convenient to you. Reflect whether it is easy for them with you?
Whether present, for example, it was convenient to your neigbour to rise with the sore head to you and to ask silences on your last holiday? Than aloud and mentally to say everything that you think of it, try to be adjusted on other harmony: certainly, she did not know (and could not know - you do not discuss the schedule of visit of your apartment with neighbors!) that you have guests, it had the reasonable reason to demand silence. So sympathize with the elderly person, and the irritation will leave.
The technology of contrasting developed still by Epicurus works and today. Searches of positive sides of the negative phenomenon are inherent in the person, they become our psychological protection. Even at quite healthy, balanced person mechanisms of psychological protection can temporarily weaken. The illness, overfatigue, stressful situations can be the reasons. And then, the charter at work, it “ breaks “ on house, and after an illness can become unusually sentimental.
At first sight can seem strange, but you can increase own invulnerability, trying to understand with understanding position of other people. Understanding another better, we improve ourselves.
For this reason definition by which a well-mannered person is not the one who correctly holds a fork and a knife, and the one who respects and understands others, their opinions, acts, thoughts, feelings is considered standard. Who not only remembers the rights, but also it is considered with the rights of people around, and, without being irritated on trifles, does not force to be irritated and nervous others.