How to smile to the sick person?
you thought of how you smile, looking in eyes to seriously ill people? Having raised such question in the first line, I very well represent your reaction. I still will ask, time here it, an opportunity: you reflected why that`s it seriously ill people so smile?
There is such a bright marker an outlined circle. It is never better to get to this circle, but, having stepped at least one finger, having hardly concerned cold linoleum there, behind line, you become another. And forever. As I. As millions of those who live near us, but are behind this line.
My four-year-old son has a heavy heart disease. And, alas, it is our not all problems. Generally - Illarion is such small encyclopedia of freaks of nature. It has irreversible changes of the central nervous system, a set accompanying and in itself - problems. But, for this reason I can tell you about those who smile always carefully and mistrustfully. Also I can tell that honor each of you, looking at me with such child on hands, will smile slightly otstranyonno and very politely, and then will say so in low tones that will hear only the next thoughts small laboratory mice: yes, there are problems at people …
Ya try to understand why in Russia such strange attitude towards disabled people. No, even this word is not pleasant to me - see to what brought up society? I would have to feel warmly, know that to me will be quietly and validly right now, and tomorrow, but … I hesitate of this word. I had to make world around small, and those who in it - to re-educate that ceased to perceive me as person whom it is necessary to be sorry and make a helpless gesture - well here you will do.
Yes, in our country disgustingly treat those who have limited opportunities. We have no ramps, there are no special devices in transport and in concert halls. Veterans of war go and prove once a year that they without leg or hands, and the children choking with heart attacks sit with mothers in turn on VTEK because the organization has no money for gasoline to come to sick children home. All this reality, but it - somewhere there, is so arranged and thought over by someone. Yes, it is thought over, but - thought over. But it seems to me that the monster head - not from this party. It - from the our head.
Here - model tiny. My family: I, Illarion and his twin sister Valeria. Valeria who sits in a mask and a dressing gown in reanimation and holds the brother by a hand after heart operation. The clever and cheerful girl who is not understanding why it is possible to laugh here at that uncle without leg. In our house it is always quiet and cheerful. For the four-year-old daughter her brother - just little boy, he for the present did not grow up, and therefore lies in a bed. All the rest at us as at all - education of the cats standing on ears, occupations by choreography of the daughter and favourite animated cartoons of the son. And such here eternally shaggy I - I am constantly distracted from work. I work at home because I do not want sad looks behind the back any more - bothered me. Hunting to turn back and represent something indecent that there, behind, confirmed - here, you see, and itself from a grief went crazy.
The model is slightly higher. You meet on the street, at work or still where - or the sick person and his relatives. Try to remember these lines: be ordinary. Try to pretend that before you absolutely ordinary people. Believe, they will be grateful to you for it. And then, when you learn to behave with them naturally, they will begin to answer you with not exhausted obedient smile and fear in eyes, and just the same openness.
The same model can be transferred to a situation when the speech comes about the help to disabled people, no, to sick people. You know about how they are afraid of the potential saviors? Helping people to raise money for operation, I constantly hear: “ he so looked at me … “ “ I am afraid to come into an office … “ and so on. And it is necessary me long and, the main thing, honestly to explain to people that actually there are much those who can and want to help. Here it is only impossible to find each other, and it seems to me, all this occurs owing to conventions - nelovkost in which we amicably put on as in old odorous quilted jackets from a kitchen garden of our grandmother. What for?
culture, Strange nevertheless at us, and customs. Somewhere in a set of genes where mind with beauty together, nestled here such gene of awkwardness, confusion and feeling of discomfort. To remove it with tweezers and business from the end. We would not look down at a look daunit, and would not be afraid to advertize in the newspaper that we need money, believe, only on operation, and ourselves will reach to clinic …
Ya often I cite as an example surprising customs of nomad and semi-nomad tribes the Buryat - Mongols. People at whom the civilization got stuck somewhere so at the level of 14 - go centuries from generation to generation transfer the rule in the marrow: at first children, old men and patients. And already then all the rest. And any “ I will think of it " tomorrow;.
Think of it. Begin to change a situation. Instill the usual look confidence to the person who is in advance ready to your pity. And when it will become self-assured when understands that it is not defective and lonely as the moon in the winter sky, he will make so that the state will construct ramps and special elevators.