Why it is possible not to want to have children?
Mother, having given you life, at once planned it: a kindergarten - school - institute - career - the husband - children - pension - grandsons. You grow, following this plan. And suddenly once you begin to slip, unexpectedly accurately having realized that you do not want to have children. At first you are covered with good reasons: here I will graduate from the institute, here I will work years five, here I will write the thesis … And time goes. Mother is nervous waiting for grandsons, asks questions - in a forehead or gradually. And at last you give out: “ I do not want to have children. Never! “ Also you prove the decision. The reasons can be much.
1. You do not love children. Not in the sense that you rush on them with fists. And that having be touched to pink heels of the two-month niece you do not test bitterness that it is not your child. Having played enough with the son of the girlfriend, you joyfully hurry home to a favourite sofa, knowing that nobody will pull and distract you. You can quite find with teenagers a common language and even common interests, but you have no desire to have the own teenager with his problems of transition periods.
2. You do not want to pass through pregnancy, childbirth, vigils at a bed (and later - at a window). You do not feel in yourself forces for heroic overcoming of medical problems - the and the child.
3. You did not choose parents, and now is not really happy you got what. You want to relieve the child of disappointment in own mother. You do not consider correct own birth. You see that the world is too aggressive voluntarily to give birth to one more unfortunate person.
4. You accurately realize that you will not be good mother. At your thoughts of hypothetical children there is always a mother / husband / nurse - those who will give you the chance not to devote himself only to pampers and PTA meetings.
5. You saw enough of other parents - shouting, nervous, dissatisfied with life. You saw enough of other children - got a patrimonial trauma, having a congenital disease, grown boors, infinitely cruel. You do not want such future neither for yourself, nor for the child. And you are not capable to console yourself in illusion that “ I will have everything in a different way “.
6. You are not eighteen years old. You can already distinguish imaginary fears for common sense. You are not frightened by opinion of people around (and it at us is quite rigid to childless women - will not condemn, so will regret, too pleasant it is not enough). You already passed through age of a contradiction when to arrive counter to the standard rules - a maturity symbol. You consider, as in twenty years your opinion concerning a child-bearing will not change.
7. Near you the person sharing your views. You are sure that after years he will not throw you for the sake of an opportunity to become the father. And if throws - you will be able to endure it. And it will not force you to regret for the made choice.
8. You have no requirement to realize the maternal instinct. You will be able to get a puppy at an attack of desire to care for someone - and it will be quite enough.
9. You sincerely consider that career is more important than children. You know that you will turn into Sunday mother, and it is not the best option of communication with parents.
10. You do not want to produce poverty.
Perhaps, mother will not understand you, and it is better not to read some points from your list of the reasons at her. The main thing that the decision to have or not to have children was only yours.