How to refuse to the child? Refusal as need of
Each child needs a praise, but in the same way it needs that periodically refused to it.
Of course, it is very difficult to refuse to the child categorically. But it is necessary for the benefit of the kid. Children to whom parents everything allow do not feel happy as they do not feel safe. How it is correct to refuse to the child?
First of all, begin to teach the word “no“ a bit earlier, in the early childhood. If the kid from the very beginning knows that there are certain rules which cannot be violated, then in process of a growing, it will be simpler to it to introduce bans.
Refusals should not be too frequent. Better instead of “no“ it is not necessary to speak ““, “does not follow“. So far the child still small, refusals have to concern generally his health. For example, it is impossible to take a knife, to touch the iron. If the child rustles, tell: “It is not necessary to rustle, mother is hurt by the head“. Especially it is not necessary to forbid what tomorrow you for certain resolve. And explain what should not be done today so, and tomorrow it will be possible, and that the kid will get confused.
Besides, even the baby should not just speak “no“, but also to explain why it is impossible to make this or that action. Explain that it is possible to be cut with a knife and it will be sick that the iron - hot. If the child goes for a walk, without having learned lessons, then will receive a bad note. If long to watch TV, then sight will deteriorate and it is necessary to wear glasses, to dig in drops in eyes. If the kid knows that he “no“ is not because you so wanted, and really there are negative consequences, it will be simpler to it to obey.
When the child will grow up and will begin to demand to buy him any thing in shop, ask why purchase is necessary whether it can do without it, whether it is possible to replace it with something another. If the kid just wants to buy something, explain that you have no enough money in order that during each visit of shop to buy something unnecessary. And, if you buy this thing, you will lack money for milk, bread, curd cake and juice for the kid. If a thing really necessary, then agree to buy it later. Only keep the word. The child - to the school student can suggest most to raise money for purchase.
In bans be consecutive, you speak confident tone. If the child feels that you doubt, then and he will not be sure whether it is worth following your ban. Do not depart from the got rules.
Sometimes replace denial with the statement. For example, you do not say that it is impossible to offend foreign child, better to say, that your kid good, is on friendly terms with all.
And, of course, show to the baby on own example, as for you there are bans and rules. It will be simpler to child to accept refusal if bans exist not only for it, but also for parents.
With the teenager it is better not to be excessively categorical. It will be more correct to talk to it as with the adult, to discuss all decisions. Tell it what decisions he can make itself (for example how to spend pocket money) and what you have to decide in common.
And still: do not insist on the if all - changed opinion. Everyone has the right for a mistake, be not afraid to recognize it. And tell that hurried with conclusions, thought and decided to grant a request.