How to react to offenses? Let`s talk about forgiveness of
Yes as he dared? Yes as it could? We ask such questions to ourselves for years! Yes that for years - how many examples even in classical literature on offenses which the person bears with himself decades (and at times and affects by itself several generations of people). What we take offense at and how with it to be? The question tormenting people for centuries.
The main reason for offense is a discrepancy of our expectations from someone to the actions made by him or her. That is the true reason of offense is covered in ourselves. For some reason we decided that other person has to think and arrive as well as we. And it arrived differently. Or, it is even more interesting - it arrived the same as we treat him, but it offended us. Why we by the way can, without reflecting, to offend any, and here we do not suffer it?
It is very difficult questions, but time we began to think of them, so we already halfway to forgiveness. And each offense forgotten by us and each forgiven person is a small piece of happiness and freedoms of our heart from the evil which corrodes it, turning to stone.
The first from what it is necessary to begin to master science of forgiveness is from this second to cease to offend others! To consider each step or the word: we will hurt them or not? Perhaps, we will give false hope which we will not be able to justify then? Why in general we are going to make it? And no offenses in the therapeutic purposes should be! This question can be entrusted only the psychotherapist - let he carries out any kind of therapy, it is its work. But not ours - we relatives and darlings, we have to give light and heat.
The most difficult in forgiveness is to understand the person and to accept it. Yes, he likes to spend time with friends. Yes, it for hours can drill for a small salary. But once you met, and now you together, and can be, you have to learn ability to forgive? Not just like that you are so similar! Than? Yes at least the fact that you are able to take offense. Time is feeling there is, so ahead still a huge layer of work on itself. And it is necessary to begin this work with attempt to understand why he acted this way?
Present yourself, but with problems, cares, perhaps, some indispositions of your opponent. If it is difficult, ask to help you friends or girlfriends. You will need two persons. One will represent you. You will represent the villain who spoiled to you life. And the third person - the detached onlooker, the moderator or maybe the operator. Lift the offense again and discuss it with yourself. Squabbled in stuff? Excellent result! Be interchanged the position! And so until you do not understand not only the reason of an act of the offender, but also his emotion, feeling.
And now think of a question: how you can help the person? It not only upset you, it wounded also itself(himself). Perhaps, the offense caused you does not allow it to sleep at night, and he does not decide to ask forgiveness? And maybe, it very needs your support, just it from - for the pride cannot itself(himself) and to admit to you it?
And the most important that you have to make now: take phone, call it and tell: “Forgive me! Well, what we with you goofs!“