What to do that people were pleasant?
People are not always pleasant to us. People are both opposite, and difficult. And sometimes there is a wish that people were pleasant to you - from it and most among them it is more pleasant to be, and it sometimes is necessary for business. Happens that you the head understand - the person probably good, and in soul there is no warm attitude, and then there is a wish to correct soul. What can help it? What it is possible to make that some person began to be pleasant to you more?
Perhaps, the reason in you. People disturbing are afraid to trust
to people around, it is quieter to them to be from people far away, explaining it is just in case these or those bad features of people around. If you have less personal alarms and fears, people will be pleasant to you more, difficulty only in what to reconstruct themselves from fears on trust - business not absolutely fast, and these are separate technologies...
Maybe other, more situational reason: perhaps, you feel just bad or were tired. When the person was unwell, all people become for him more opposite around. It is possible to check so itself: you are healthy or not. If you go down the street and you see what nice people around you and towards to you, you notice beautiful faces and kind eyes - you are healthy. If all any muzzles curve and there is no decent person - perhaps, all of you - get sick. Here everything is simple - have a rest, be engaged in the health, and to people you will have more positive feelings. does not help
? All the same opposite? - address the psychologist or the psychotherapist. You have the general negativism and that stands behind it, it is necessary to understand.
If you are sure that is with you everything is all right: you are healthy, vigorous, positive and benevolent, but any person (or any people) all the same is not close to you and it is not pleasant - and you want to change it, the following can help: Remove
connected with the person (or people) fears
One of the reasons of antipathy can be that you feel this or that threat from the specific person. It is rather reasonable to be careful, and here to belong to the person with fear - rather inadequately. It is better to remove fears. If the person stops being for you terrible, you relax, and he becomes more pleasant. If it is your case how it can be made?
Present terrible ridiculous
That the character causing in you irritation became nice, ceased to anger you and, can be even, became closer to you, it is possible to represent it in a comical image - in ridiculous clothes, with a ridiculous hairdress etc. It distracts from a negative, amuses and, as a result, increases mood.
Find the positive point of view
At each person many sides, and the attitude towards the person quite often depends on from what position you estimate the person from what point of view you look at it. If you look at the person eyes of those who love him and appreciate, you will be able to make out and understand in him what was not noticed earlier. From there is a reception: “And who loves it?“: present that someone loves this “nasty“ person and appreciates, waits for the house - parents, children, spouses, a dog, at last! It is expensive and very important for someone. Your family and favourite people are right there remembered already, and becomes light-and it is easy!
Treat the person on - kindLev Nikolaevich Tolstoy once wrote
, retelling known and to it worldly wisdom: we like people not so much for that good which they did for us, how many for kind that we made for them. In it is the big truth. To us people in whom we began to put the care and kindness become really closer and nice.
Present that you give a gift
In this case the simply and cheap that it is possible to make - to present to the person the most joyful for it a gift. No money and any shops is necessary, make it only in the imagination, but make honestly: look, think from what gift the person at this person will blossom that will please it really. Approach it creatively: to this child present an elastic ringing ball, to that official - the thick portfolio filled by rolls of money, the grandmother - the long-awaited letter from the beloved grandson, to this couple - a mad trip on the boat flying on waves, this tired woman - a huge fragrant bouquet and congratulations from friends...
Pay to the person attention and the help
If you to the person it is free or involuntarily helped, rendered assistance, you will need to explain then to yourself why you made it. Well not foolishly? The simplest explanation which people almost unconsciously find to the kind acts: “Because in this person something (kind) is“. And after that treat the person with bigger goodwill and sympathy.
Tell the person kind words. Especially well - about him and with all the heart .
As was written by one of readers Psikhologosa, Victor: “If the person to whom there is a wish to improve the relation - the woman for me it was very useful to find in her some good line, feature, an act (it is important that for me it was really the truth) and with all the heart to tell it about it. Usually it is not difficult if a little bit to observe the person. The attitude of this woman towards me improves after that and a little automatically improves my attitude towards her“.
Make out in the adult - the child
Children usually cause unaccountable sympathy. And if we manage to make out in the adult of the kid which he once was - in us warm feelings rise to this person. It too when was nice!
Looking at the person, try to present what he was a child - for example, the first grader. All of us once were small, all once waited that they will go to school, all dreamed that they will go with the real portfolios and we will sit at the real school desks. If it is the man, try in it is mute to make out the little boy (he was shortly tonsured?) who with a satchel behind the back efficiently walks near the father or mother. It is held by a hand or it goes independently? In what hand it holds flowers? What look at it? You want to wish it good luck on its way? And if you look at the woman, then try to present in what she was a dress when went to school whether it had in hair a huge white bow? What in her big children`s eyes? It is pleasant to you?
Pleasures to you! Nice interlocutors!