School of a survival: how to the teenager to overcome difficulties in collective?
were already mentioned Earlier problems which the teenager faces at school and collective. Let`s consider in more detail than the prerequisite of this or that structure of behavior of the child.
The leading activity of the teenager is communication with peers . The main tendency - reorientation of communication from parents on peers. Communication includes two inconsistent requirements: need for belonging to group and need for isolation . The teenager, including himself the unique personality, at the same time seeks to differ in nothing from peers externally.
Typical line of teenage groups is “conformality“ - tendency of the person to assimilation of certain group norms, habits, values, an imitation. The desire to merge with group, to be allocated with nothing, responsible for needs for safety, for psychology is considered as the mechanism of a social mimicry. In the intellectual sphere there are high-quality changes: the theoretical and reflexive thinking continues to develop.
At teenage age influence of “pack“ is in most cases insuperable . You will not envy the one who got in derelicts. Such teenagers remember the school days with horror, and complexes often remain for the rest of life. Parents should not make light of school problems of the child. Only a certain, easy and painless way to solve a problem of persecution and persecution of the child - to transfer it to other school. Dismantling with teachers and parents of schoolmates does not give anything, in most cases only aggravating a situation.
The democratic type of education in the best way influences formation of the relations with peers. This style of education most promotes education of independence, activity, initiative and social responsibility. By 15 years intra group communication with peers begins to collapse, there is a deepening and differentiation of friendly relations on the basis of emotional and intellectual proximity of teenagers (both in positive, and in negative sense, that is children will not stretch with low intelligence and an emotional threshold to clever and thin, sensitive people).
Realizing the social importance of own participation in realization of itself, teenagers enter the new relations among themselves, develop means of communication with each other. It promotes satisfaction of needs for communication with peers and adults, recognition at seniors, to self-affirmation and self-esteem, according to the chosen ideal.
Recently sharply the level of stratification of society on a social feature increased. Difficultly for children of poor parents, but equally difficult happens also to children of parents of the rich. This statement is controversial only at first sight. Not without reason in the world literature the millionaire`s son / daughter - the person who is surely insufficiently adapted to life, a pale and dull shadow of father / mother. Besides, it is extreme options. But also in our society such problem is real - as the security level significantly exceeding possibilities of people around influences the teenager?
Contrary to the standard opinion, among teenagers existence of material values is less significant, than among adults . Now existence of the iPhone, a synthesizer or electronic guitar, the foreign car or European-quality repair in the apartment gives to the owner of it additional self-confidence. To surrounding teenagers, even from poor families, brought up under the influence of notorious “Americanization“ of society, gives the concerning feeling of opportunities.
“I will get an education, I will get a job in prestigious firm / I will become the actor / singer / model, I will earn money“ - children feel taste of freedom. You only support them even if you doubt . Parental support is a confidence of the child in itself and consequently, the stable status in teenage collective - serious prerequisites of formation of the full-fledged personality.
In rich families the problems, especially at teenagers - boys. It is more difficult for them to overcome a Freudian Oedipus complex - feeling of the fatal competition to the father in attempts to feel as the man. Already idealized image of the father it becomes frequent twice unattainable owing to presence at it of the serious power, most often derivative of possession of big money. Money requires attention and time . The same is demanded by children.
How parents distribute the human opportunities, the further course of life of the teenager in many respects depends. And long ago it is time for all of us to understand that not existence or absence of wealth plays a key role in development of the child, and the family atmosphere. Be not afraid of teenagers. Love them!