Why cultural wealth is so expensive?
Why to people so cannot wait to unite in groups, clubs, the movements, churches? Why we do not love or we are not able to spend time alone, with ourselves? I ask myself this question every time when I am invited to meetings by the people united by the general idea.
13 years ago I very much looked for a spiritual shelter as a hobby. And with huge enthusiasm rushed on searches of spiritual truth and values in the environment of a huge number of the churches and religious societies which filled the capital. Where I was? Probably, it is simpler to call places where I was not. Such was only five or six. Everywhere spoke about love to neighbors, declared life by the bible principles, openness in the relations, reading the Bible, a prayer and tithe.
After two years` wanderings I, at last, “moored“ in one of churches. Most of all I struck how there people welcomed each other. Now, 11 years later, having appeared in the USA, I understood that it was a typical American greeting: the first time people greet by hands (both the man, and the woman), and all subsequent times if only people are not united by business relations, embraces for a shoulder and easy kisses (both the man, and the woman). Then, in far 1998, it seemed to me it is such beautiful, such pure! Yes, and all it seemed biblically honest and Christianly basic.
Six years later, having left, this church, I somehow got to talking with one acquaintance. He told me a story of the acquaintance who thanks to the similar organization went to the USA according to the training program. “She did not like their idea, and just pretended that accepts it and if it accepted it deeply in heart, they would crush it“ . It is told bluff and, probably, it is unclear for many. But I - that understood well.
Yes, it was about me. I did not pretend to be, and took very much to heart. I believed in sincerity of motives of people, believed very deeply whereas others were not so open and is sincere, but successfully did “spiritual“ career - became leaders, dividing among themselves spheres of influence in the created society from such as I, believing in their sincerity.
Alas, the modesty of followers of Christian values soon developed into modest charm of bourgeois life! Luxurious apartments in the center of the capital, fashionable mobile phones, expensive rest - ordinary parishioners as I, could dream of it only. Until recently we confessed for each offense, clearing the thoughts, for each small deception, even for flirtation and a coquetry, and several years later already began to close eyes to the fact that many opened business and did not pay taxes in full.
Once to the man and the woman it was forbidden to meet in the enclosed space without witnesses, it was not recommended to dance slow dances, it was necessary to go out on dates to several couples together and before getting married, suggested to meet year - the second, with the consent of leaders. The first kiss had to be by all means on wedding, at guests - witnesses (I have nothing against the first kiss - beautifully and romantically). Here it is only a pity that several years later allowed also slow dances, and to meet “without blessing“, and were not so categorical with kisses “to a wedding any more“.
… And two and a half years ago I was invited to a meeting of adherents of one amusing movement. “We want to reestablish the lost communication with the nature, to recreate family estates , - his ideologists told, - to put a kitchen garden, to grow up a paradise garden“ . Life on the earth, far away from the raging capital, in a community of adherents - than not good idea? In the gas-polluted and crowded city there is not enough fresh air, pure and free space any more.
I will tell honestly, and at me the thought flashed and that if I … But only for a minute. As I already knew, than beautiful ideas and loud slogans come to an end. Also was not surprised when after stories about “a wildlife oasis which will improve an ecological situation and will serve as an example how to change life to the best“ followed: “For the solution of questions of arrangement of the general territories and implementation of projects on cleaning of vicinities we accepts sponsor`s donations in any currency and any sizes“ .
... I like to communicate with people, to read the Bible and to go to church. But my spiritual experience changed me. I began to feel that I physically feel uncomfortablly and uncomfortably among a large number of people, whether it be work, an ordinary party or church. I do not like to be long in crowd, I want to retire and be alone right there. And still I became the ardent admirer of a private property and ceased to trust in socialism. And I do not believe any more that any society is capable to change the world and people.
As great Kant told, “two things fill my soul with delight: the star sky over the head and the moral law in me“.