The husband left to another. How to endure divorce and to live further?
Shed tears the river, sob a beluga if it left you. And if somebody dares to prevent, trying to console or shame, remove it aside. Means, just never before left him.
Howl under a shower and in a pillow, quietly whine on a bench in deserted park, silently cry in public transport, loudly and desperately shout outdoors … if it left yesterday, a month ago or half a year.
You are a living person and it is not obligatory for you to constrain yourself when you are cut without knife and without anesthesia. When you at the same time endure three most disgusting and intolerable feelings at once: shame, pain and fear.
When from one thought that it comes to you to a bed from someone else long ago, you feel sick and turns inside out. And you do not remember any more when you ate the last time, slept, breathed.
When you feel like the heroine of some cheap series. And it is so opposite because that to you defined in it a role of the victim (the deceived wife) without yours on that a consent and a permission. And from banality and limitation of a plot there is a wish to howl.
Howl. It managed to destroy your ideal World in which he was the main character. Also it seems that everything passed by: love, career and the finest years. And all your life - a continuous chain of failures.
At trouble the rich imagination. suddenly will seem to You that you die, and for some instant you will even want it. But then you will understand that you died for a long time when you learned to manage, and then ceased to feel need for hot embrace and the man`s kiss at all.
Least of all you will want to discuss with all the problems. Foreign councils and opinions will only prevent to understand the feelings and desires. But near you there will be the most loved and native one: the faithful and loving sister, mother or the girlfriend who just will not allow you to samounichtozhitsya.
Both in the afternoon, and at night you will feverishly try to find answers to the questions smothering you. How it could happen to me? What did I make not so? I what, it was deaf where there were my eyes? In what I am bad? Than it is better than me? And how children? How to live further?...
And then when all life is sifted by you through a sieve, answers will come. Neither mind, nor charm, nor care and even your fidelity, can be an inoculation from change of the husband. And naivety and trustfulness - trouble, but not your fault.
Daily change young beauties and devoted girlfriends, housewives and successful ladies. You tried, and you have nothing to reproach. And children clever, will understand everything and will become stronger. And she is not cleverer than you, not more beautifully, perhaps, more young, but it is not her merit …
A still a bit later you will ask yourself already absolutely other questions. And whether so it was good to you together? When and why near it you ceased to believe in yourself? What did you lose with its leaving? When it was gentle and tender with you the last time? And whether there was in general a love?
“Yes what it on it one, the rascal, light a wedge met perhaps? Yes that I, worst, perhaps? I both can sing, and I can dance. I am cheerful … And I do not love it at all. Just does not go out of the mind. It was imposed on soul“ (from to / f “to Love“) You suddenly distinctly will understand
. Your relations were far from ideal: two - three years I love, and further - a habit. And by the time of a gap there is nothing was to fight, otherwise you so easily would not give up.
You just missed each other. So happened to you earlier that you were ahead of someone from girlfriends in development, or on the contrary. And then with someone it did not become interesting to someone. And you left. And happens to husbands.
“Here she understood, is distinct and bitter that forty years it was happy with the stranger, with absolutely foreign person. .“ (V. Vishnevsky) As soon as you ceased to correspond to
each other then appeared of razluchniyets . Also is not present guilty because in development everyone for. To someone else early, and someone ran forward. Interests different …
A in life of everyone there comes time when there is a wish to speak and be only with equal to. With those who take of you the hint.
It is much more important to hear each other, than to receive flowers, spirits or clean socks and a bowl of soup.
U you. It is a lesson. And you - not the victim which was not injured and is not thrown, and just the pupil who well learned this lesson.
“And that is sinful and that will spiritually write down someone, not to us to judge …“ (from a song of the Lake. Mityaeva)
I you suddenly will begin to eat, sleep. And, the page by the page, you will burn the diary in which wrote down about the experiences. You will forget about offenses because in them there is no more sense. You will forgive because it is so necessary better for you, your children and … for all.
“And you forget - and it will become easier... And you forgive - and there will be a holiday...“ (Olga Novikova`s verses)
With leaving of the husband life will become another, but is not worse at all. And you will learn to use over time those opportunities which will open before you. You very much will like to care for yourself, in the mornings to make for yourself, but not it a breakfast … you will feel
I after such clear-out in the thoughts, affairs, the house updated, easy, resolute. Plaintive channels will be washed out, all receptors will quicken. And life will seem not such monotonous.
And any hysterics concerning the leaving youth because you know for certain that in 45, 55 and even in 60 … life only begins. You will begin to remember also fine events from your joint life. Just they were saddened by the incident, and you for a while forgot about them.
I loved you as I was able. We gave a lot of things each other. I undertake part of responsibility for what did not develop, and I leave you your part. Also I let you Go in peace.
I you will sometime not exclude any more an opportunity to improve the friendly relations with former for the sake of your children and for the sake of yourself. Who told that to have the husband more valuably, than to have the good, checked friend?!
Sometimes we lose hard and hysterically that it is not necessary for us at all. We lose to understand that it is necessary for us.
You will accept this imperfect world and, wishing though a little it is better to make it, will begin with yourself. You will have a keen desire to begin new business, to travel, resume acquaintances and to get new ….
You were already a charming hostess of the house and remarkably coped with this role. You, at last, will want to be beyond the wife and mother. And you will feel huge need for tenderness, for emotional bond, for the confidential relations. You will want to feel again desired.
Also you will believe that very soon your the person will smile and will press you to itself strong and gently. And you will be sincerely interesting to it and your impressions of life.
“… And you believe - and will trust... Begin - will begin a circle... you open
A to a door inclination. And you LOVE! - and to you it will be reckoned …“ (Olga Novikova`s verses)
But now you will always remember that parting with darling is inevitable sooner or later. And you will appreciate every day with it. With pleasure you will care for it, without losing yourself at the same time.
And that the heat of your man - the hunter did not cool down, again and again you will fascinate not only it, but also all man`s population of the planet. That darling did not think that you will not get to from him anywhere.
“I want to be a darling... Also I WILL be! I want to become happy... Also I WILL BECOME!
About LOVE... never I will forget! To trust in the MIRACLE... I WILL not CEASE!“ (Olga Novikova`s verses)
Now your life will be other, real, correct - comprehended, with widely opened eyes and heart. You will know about sufferings of other people, and all your problems will be easily solvable.
“It is so easy to be happy, expensive! It is only necessary to fall in love with what you have. And you have very much … Be not sorry about the losses. About what you consider as losses …“ (ő / f “True values“)
I here you smiled to us, yourself and the future. You managed it?! Means, we will live !