How to be protected from vital disorders and adversities?
Think that each of us will prefer to try to be protected in a situation, difficult for himself - “to cover“ himself from possible traumatic experiences.
But protection is practically always narrowing of an opportunity to see, sensitivity to feel, abilities to be spontaneous in the manifestations. And often happens so that protection model our susceptibility. “Frame“ pictures of reality, making out our habitual impressions. Limiting the review of reality to spheres of our prejudices and basic installations which we often call the knowledge of life. The life experience.
Than to us it is more terrible to live, than we more nervous and timid - that are necessary to us shor more densely, and the subjects at the channel of our perception though something new, other than what once was becomes.
How and when these protective mechanisms are formed? Generally in the childhood, in our primary family. But then, during all life, they quite can a little, but move. If we - in our adult already the status - feel requirement though any changes of habitual “filters“ in “points“ through which we look at life.
“Black glasses“ is, as a rule, system of very steady beliefs which are based on belief that the world around is dangerous by definition. That in it there is no place to belief, hope and at all - alas - love. And what to hope - even in the happiest situations - especially there is nothing. Because even if now someone also assures you of the love and fidelity, then all this is from the evil, and treachery - here, absolutely nearby, only give a hand. And here such still installation: the less you trust people around - the better it is insured from losses and defeats. Beforehand you know everything! That everything will be bad, and the fact that now it is good - it is illusion and deception. And what happened to these people (usually they are called pessimists) - between them and this filter costs the world always. Which has, in fact, very good intentions - to protect them from disappointments. But here such, very peculiar, way - “why to wait until others when I also perfectly cope with it disappoint me!“
“Pink glasses“ is a filter of the optimist. It is sacred - and often very childlike, naive faith in the fact that the world “is good by definition“. That miracles happen. What it is possible to trust and hope for the best and it is necessary in any, most “black“ situation. And that if to the belief to add still the efforts and efforts - that you will precisely survive. Because, even when forces absolutely on an outcome, it is possible to rely on the belief. And even if there is no other support here and now, then itself can quite organize it the vigorous actions. I to you retell the favourite fairy tale about two frogs in a krynka with milk now?
Basic beliefs and installations, especially in the sphere muzhsko - the female relations, as a rule, are heritage of a female half of our primary family. If your mother or the grandmother constantly to you repeated that “the man - most dangerous “animal“ in the wood“, then, most likely, at the unconscious level you will always be so … on the lookout even with the most pleasant and lovely representative of it of “a type of fauna“. If to you constantly sentenced that you - practically the Princess (“Morozko“ from Churikova is our everything!) and the whole world - at your service, especially man`s population, most likely, you will go on life “easily“.
Though if you - as Marfushka - are sacredly sure that the whole world, including the grandfather Moroz, “on life“ has to you - then your expectations will often “overturn“ reality. And the offense - as result of unjustified hopes - will become your frequent guest. But if you in “stardom“ and “korolevnost“ are well compensated by a measure and the responsibility for the events happening to you, and to the world are ready quite friendly and without special claims - the Universe day from day will smile to you.
If to you it is constant - beginning years with fifteen - repeated that in marriage take only young and fresh maidens, and slightly “for twenty five“ - and already you are “perespelok“, then yours “search activity“, also as well as excess of patience and humility at its successful outcome - read a marriage, can make the life noticeably of you miserable. It I to the fact that time when here such “preparations“ begin to disturb us seriously can come to lives practically of each of us. To prevent to feel like the hostess - the owner of the elections and the destiny.
If you are a representative of “pure type“ - the inveterate pessimist or the desperate optimist - and try to be guided in life only by the internal rules and installations, then to live to you anyway complicated. Because at any pole of perception everything is good - to correlate itself to reality of the events around you. In some situations to trust Another and the truth dangerously. And in some - your pessimism can destroy on a root fragile sprouts of belief in the arising and such relations necessary to you.
So ideally in an arsenal of each of us it is good to have a set of “fragments of glass“, different in color, - you remember how in our childhood we did “sekretik“ with multi-colored glass and candy wrappers? And the most important - whenever possible “to arrange“ perception under the purposes and needs for the current life situation.
Of course, it is easy for me to argue here … But how to be with these most basic installations when they - for 99% unconscious? Built in our perception and influencing our feelings - thoughts - emotions - behavior at the level of automatic reactions? First of all, it makes sense every time to try to separate “grains from a ryegrass“. I.e. every time when you react to something for you significant a habitual train of thought “Floated - we know!“, at once to do a stop. And in this pause instead of running start to give situations habitual sense at once, to try to identify at least from whose now “points“ you survey the events.
Up to that it is possible to buy a set of multi-colored round fragments of glass - and to bring to an eye pink, violet, black, still what. Or to collect to itself a collection of glasses with different light filters. Perhaps it sounds absolutely lightly, but roots of our beliefs - from the childhood. Your internal child is precisely living. And always with pleasure will be distracted for the habitual fears and doubts by game.
And game can be such. Here left for good - absolutely on “shady side“ (you see a situation in “black“ color) - set up to yourself on a nose points with pink glasses. Of course, at this moment you will smile. And those who now near you, most likely, too will smile. And you look around - and in yourself - with an optimistical note of hope and confidence that “life will be adjusted“. Anyway.
Or try on violet lenses - if you feel too involved in a situation and now it is important to you to tell yourself: “And me all this is is violet!“ It is sure - you will smile again. And a smile - the first support in a difficult situation. When we keep ability over ourselves though slightly to banter - the despondency and alarms turn pale. Shrink. Also cease to seem to us size about the horizon.
It is possible and to do without real points. Think up some gesture meaning for you “change of lenses“ - for example, the movement by a hand of the dancing Travolta in “Pulp fiction“. And over and over again try to leave from the avtomatizm in perception of reality.