Why the father needs to answer questions of the son?
to Vanish at work is characteristic of men more. As a result, mothers are engaged in education of children mainly. For girls it is not so terrible. And here participation of the father in their education is of great importance for boys. How to do it at a chronic lack of time? Even those hours which you spend at home can not always be devoted to children completely.
Conversations with the son when you are busy with some business can become one of options of an exit. Education often takes place in a form of discussion of those qualities which you want to impart to the child. However, for this purpose it is necessary that the child agreed is near you while you do the part. It is possible when the boy got used to address you for explanations of the fact that to him it is unclear. Therefore from the very beginning seriously you treat questions of your “why-asker“.
When the baby only begins to ask the first questions, adults be touched and are enraptured. Give up all affairs, surround the child and answer him in eager rivalry. And it really looks as a small miracle! It is similar to how the kid for the first time tries to rise and pass several steps. Asking the first questions, the child takes the first steps in independent knowledge of this world.
And the same as, having learned to go, the child begins to study actively the space surrounding him, in the same way - having learned to obtain information by means of questions - the child begins to form actively in the consciousness a world around picture. Or in other words - outlook.
During this period questions begin to pour on you with such speed that sometimes happens it is physically impossible to answer each of them. And that`s it here at parents often there comes the change. It appears, it is often more difficult to answer simple and naive children`s questions, than on adult, serious and intelligent.
And quite often parents begin to give in: try to switch attention of children (“I am busy, go better play“), are given (“I do not know“, “Ask mother“), and even push away the child (“Leave alone“, “Stop talking“ or “Do not ask silly questions“).
Surprisingly, but the same parents at the same time can be anxious with how to develop talents of the child and where him to give it that made the genius of it. That is, intending to develop in every possible way the child, they trample down sprouts of his natural aspiration to self-development!
For the child it is not chatter at all! And he just is not able to ask silly questions (though then he will learn it). All his questions serve one purpose so far - to knowledge. And these questions - the most propitious moment for education of children.
Yes, education! Because at this time you can put without any resistance in the child any knowledge what only want. Not only information, but also moral standards, rules, vital installations.
He gives hands behind this knowledge and everything accepts them, without turning to anything a deaf ear and without calling anything slightest in question. This that time when you can accustom your child to receive from you answers to the questions, to address for councils, it is simple to talk to pleasure with you.
Remember that so will be not always! If the kid does not receive adequate answers, or will see that with questions to you it is better not to climb, over time he really will not bother you once again. But there will pass some more years, and you will already look for an occasion to strike up conversation with your grown-up son. Can happen so that once, having returned from work and having once again received answers on duty to the questions on duty from the children, you suddenly will understand that you do not know at all, than they live and what think of.
Possibly, you want to restore the lost contact. You will try to ask children or just to have a talk with them about something. And it is also probable that at the same time feel strong resistance. Your child will now speak to you “Leave alone“. Even if and not aloud. He already learned to gain knowledge necessary to it from other sources and in your consultations (especially -) does not need manuals. At least, he so considers.
Only here some parents begin to understand that all of them waited these years for such moment when once sit down with the child and will begin to tell it that it is good and that it is bad. But such moment did not come, and the child already became a teenager and has the opinion on everything. And such moments for certain were earlier. It just that time when the kid asked many questions.
And let it were really ridiculous and naive questions. Let the silly little chap incapable something serious gave a task to apprehend them. But it will also not become capable to perceive difficult, without having learned simple! From simple to difficult - so there is any development in general, and development of children is not an exception.
The child collects the picture of the world from separate fragments. And, without having learned to collect simple drawing from cubes, it will not master drawing up the difficult image of one hundred puzzles. Having answered simple questions, you soon receive difficult. Especially if you aspire to it. For example, on a simple question of the child “And why at that car on a roof the blue small lamp blinks?“ it is possible to answer simply: “Because it is a police car. She is more main than others and wants that all passed it“. And it will not be the wrong answer. And it can quite satisfy the child.
One more puzzle will be laid in his picture of the world. A small lamp - because a police car. The militia - is more main than others. The small lamp blinks - because the militia wants that it was passed. There are no ambiguities any more. Something type can be his following question easily: “And why on that shop such big boot was drawn?“
But it is possible to answer the same question and so: “Because when this small lamp begins to blink, all pass a police car, and it becomes easier for it to catch up and catch criminals“. It will also be the correct answer. But, unlike the first option, it more likely will generate a set of additional questions in the boy. Such as: “And why it is easier?“, “Why the militia catches criminals?“, “Who such criminals and from where they undertake?“ etc.
That is, having designed the answer definitely, you can kindle children`s curiosity even more. And respectively receive squall of new questions which it is necessary to answer. But, directing thus interest of the child, you will be able to bring it to those questions which you want from it to hear. You will wait for the fact that your son himself will create to you an opportunity to teach him. Here it is possible and to spread all prepared for conversation that it is good and that - is bad.
It develops the child. Instead of a series of answers to chaotically arising questions, at you thematic conversation turned out. So, in a children`s picture of the world several new elements not just appeared. The whole fragment comprehended and consisting of the interconnected parts was added to it. When there is a sense, the child not just remembers information (that practically does not strain a young brain), but also begins to consider again heard. The proof to it will be the fact that after a while after conversation it can return to this subject with new questions again. And intelligence of these questions can pleasantly surprise you. Thus, the kid gets a habit to reflect. And process of thinking, actually also moves intellectual development of the person.
Be ready to conversation with the son always, and you by all means will have an opportunity to teach his mind - reason the easiest and naturally. It does not mean that it is never impossible to tell the child: “I am busy“. It is possible and is necessary (and respect for others time in it it is necessary to develop). But the respect always has to be mutual. If you cannot talk now - tell the child that you will answer his question later.
Also accustom to keep yourself this promise. Try to remember a question and then the first to return to its discussion. In - the first, on other children`s question even very clever people can not find the answer straight off. Sometimes you still should try and manage most to find the answer to it. And for preservation of the parental authority the pause for preparation will be very opportunely. On the other hand, to recognize that you do not know the answer, and then to find it together with the child - will also be the good course. It you will show to the son that you are afraid to know something. And also - how to seize knowledge if it was required.
In - the second, on the child very big influence will have that, how seriously you treated his question. The feeling that it is respected strengthens in it feeling of own importance and advantage. The attention to the advantage and respect in general is very important element of education. And for future man - especially. We for some reason very often forget that each person has it. Even if he is only three years old.
For example when lecture for really wrong behavior of the child in full view of other people (especially those to whom he wants to be pleasant), often this behavior does not stop. Also can even worsen. And than more roughly managed with vanity of the little man, especially intolerably he begins to behave. After that the child is usually punished moreover and listens to such characteristics in the address as “stubborn“, “harmful“, “opposite“.
And he only fought for the advantage! It was not the best way of fight, but it also does not know what is the best. Therefore try to see such moments and to help the child to keep his advantage. Quite often in these cases more effective course will appear to take the child aside and as to the adult, to explain why you want that it changed the behavior.
You will tell, as mother will be able perfectly to answer questions of the son. Of course, will be able! Only will do it it as the woman. And you are going to grow up the man? The man and the woman differently see the same world, differently feel and differently think. Probably, nobody will challenge the fact that can answer the same questions of the man and woman absolutely differently.
Therefore the father has to aspire to that he answered the majority of questions of boys. That the boy looked forward the father from work with the questions prepared especially for him. To the contrary, mother mainly has to bring up girls.
Because each parent gives to the child that attitude which is characteristic of that floor to which the parent belongs. Women usually do not love all that, as for fights, the weapon, examinations who than whom is stronger and who against whom will win. And they it is free or involuntarily and children are protected from all this. And these things just capture boys! And without a thing it it is very difficult for them to become men.
And let your wife - the beautiful person and the good tutor, remember that your participation in education of sons is just necessary! Even if you have really much less free time, than at it, do not exclude yourself from this process absolutely. Good to you sons!