What to do if you hate the world? Perhaps, nothing - the Japanese point of view of
Ya I go in a minibus.
I sit, having raised knees: under me a wheel - a zapaska. As the robot - a transformer, I try to press in myself hands and shoulders to take as little as possible places. Not to disturb the portly lady who is sitting next: the portly lady of so weak movements does not notice. I am pressed not to prevent myself.
I strongly developed feeling of personal space. It - my space - probably, is more and more volume, than at other average people. As the intimate space of the person from 20 to 50 cm is written in clever books. His people protect as the property. To get here it is permitted only to the closest.
I even have no hint on “from 20 to 50 cm“. Meter one and a half - not less. I do not know why so, but, naturally, I feel discomfort in public transport. I nearly personally see how others hands, shoulders, trunks interfere in my space, I beat out from there atoms, molecules and the whole polypeptide chains … are not present, not air, and what was me more than an instant ago. Yes, yes! I feel this space as part of myself. Additional cover. Second skin. Aura.
Svetka on it to spit. She will not even be able to realize a problem if I suddenly decide to share with it. Will shrug shoulders: “Well, and how you wanted? All need to go“.
It is good to be beautiful and self-assured …
Of course, it is difficult to argue. It is necessary to go everything. But if the ordinary person and arrives - will take and will go, then I will be long trampled down at a stop, mentally building various options which would allow to do without rough invasion into me. “Perhaps, peshochok? - I delay thoughts melancholy. - Or to catch a taxi? Or perhaps to call Vadik? It, in my opinion, today just day off. You never can tell, you look - and will bring“.
These thoughts are fruitless. The pedestrian way will borrow hour three time, there is no money for a taxi, and Vadik in general hates me. And, of course, will not carry anywhere.
I try to finish myself. Millions of people go every day by public transport. Why you pretend as if you special as if you make some feat? Well - gather, a rag! Now the bus will approach and you will get into it. Yes. You will get into it, parting forcibly elbows of all these babusek with pious expressions, colourless women and suspicious men. You will stand in sweaty crowd, nestling a nose in someone`s wet back. The owner of a back was lucky: it is high. Therefore does not rest anywhere. And still it has a personal space sjezheno to 2 mm. And even in general it is tired out under skin on minus of 2 cm
I stick out forward the lower jaw (it seems, an upper jaw in Latin), I thrust hands into coat pockets and with irritation I frown. It is better not to touch me. You see what I courageous and rough? Brutal. And I do not care about these your intellectual features - like personal spaces.
The bus approaches. Opens the doors. Throws out viscous crowd same as I, brutal persons (it is interesting how grandmas manage to look brutal?) . Brutala do not disperse, and, having blocked the bodies doors, courageously and roughly wait until the bus casts out all unnecessary it at this stop.
The bus leaves. I curse myself for indecision. On the following precisely.
I am lucky, the minibus approaches. It is lucky relatively, the minibus is hammered too. Naturally, all should go. I stand, having humiliating bent, trying to hold sticky palms dirty walls. A foot got stuck in okolodverny space. Not to pull out them. And there is no place to put all the same. I stand, on - chaplinsk having spread wide legs, and I refrain by miracle from falling. Here driver`s voice: “Bend down, - yes? - further cops stand“.
It is impossible to bend down - and there is no place. I grit the teeth: all vodila of the swine! I will quit this damned job! I will settle the janitor in our yard. It will not be necessary to go anywhere. I hate work: also the chief the idiot is stupid, senseless. Employees it is not better.
“ On Clear stop...“. It was lucky, there are several people at once. With relief I sit down on a chair empty from all directions. From inconveniences: under a chair the spare wheel therefore knees are at the level of a breast lies. Already through five to pass it becomes informidable: the portly lady sits down near me. Vpressovyvayet me in glass. Probably, it has no personal space too. Grief to me...
I hate all of them. They want to me bad. The person to the person - a wolf …
... Actually, I strong, courageous and rough. And I do not go by public transport. I have “Subaru of Legasi“. Now I stand, clamped in a stopper, near a canary minibus. Driving the elderly cheerful Tajik with Lenin cunning wrinkles at eyes. Behind it in a window the fellow sticks out. More likely, young man. Twenty - twenty two. Drearily presses close as if trying to be stuck in a window. The hating look. Nearby interesting full young woman. Ý - eh, years about ten down with …
I I would hate all too around. And it seemed to me that the world is so unfair and sad what never - you hear? never! - I will have with it nothing in common. And I was enraged by incidentally thrown offensive phrase. And I despised all girls on light for the fact that they are such beautiful. And men - for their brutality. And grandmothers - for their old age. And dogs - because are frightened by the bark …
A then offenses left. Were removed on a background and there were dissolved. And I remained with the beloved wife, dear friends, beloved children and favourite work. With beloved parents. In the favourite city. In the favourite house which I built the hands. Also planted a tree there.
And the world, is generally quite good. Sometimes it is also bad - but is not hopeless. Especially, if you are the thinking personality - and you just such, differently and would not suffer from the train invented, the car semi-real and carts of the real problems. Everything that happens to you - it is experience. And it is always bitter.
If everything developed successfully, you joyfully speak: “I and knew!“ - also you forget. And if it is unsuccessful - bitter experience. Which as the house from bricks, consists of failures.
Valuable experience. Let now you also do not realize it. As I did not realize - and millions of other people. Which go every day by public transport. They same - look narrowly.
And the public transport is not the world evil. It is only public transport.