Rus Articles Journal

“Waiter!“

Thanks to related communications, I worked in youth as the manager of the small dining room at a zavodika in rural areas. The knowledge - paper work without liability is small! For increase in commodity turnover, obtained opening of department of cookery and organized work of points of distribution of hot lunches to collective farmers in the field. Then, united eight dining rooms, and became - the director of a public catering.

In one of branches collected (and damned that day!) Komsomolsk - youth collective! The new dining room on the route Moscow - Leningrad was in the late seventies added. Young - it is green! Achieved: the dining room received the status - evening restaurant. The Olympic Games - 80 came, and I expanded the radius of circulations on instances: the Certificate allowing to serve foreign tourists during the Olympic Games is issued! Teachers from the high culinary courses train “rural old women“ to prepare not only is directed Russian cabbage soup and meatballs, part of workers to advanced training courses.

Here only I - that expected that “in a century of general deficiency“, I will be filled up with caviar, crabs, sturgeon, cervelat! Yes, I was filled up! But - the commissions!!! “You are the head of collective and - the non-party!?“ - I listen to bureaucrats from Smolny. “Who approved you to this position without the higher trade education!?“ - officials from Administration of commerce echo them. “With such surname and with such middle name...“ - the employee of omnipotent department was fastidiously wrinkled. The miniature of my former chief A. Raikin was remembered: “The nature learns: do not lean out! Dinosaurs leaned out, well and where they now? And bugs since then to this day - are live!“ Back there is no course! I took the first direction on advanced training courses and - left for half a year in business trip!

In the ancient Volga city, in the homeland of Ivan Susanin, unforgettable time of study flew by: service of foreign tourists for the Olympic Games - 80! From eighteen listeners wanted to study no more than five. An entrance to the hostel, from - for minors, closed early, and in the room on the first floor we specially did not lock a window frame. Whims of the commandant (three guys and fifteen little girls) did not concern us! On “Cookery of people of the world“ the theory was supported with a practical training in educational kitchen: we prepared, decorated and tasted dishes. “service art subtleties“ which were perfected only the waiter knows: the herring under a fur coat is put to the right of the guest, and a herring with a garnish - at the left; when giving fried eggs the dessertspoon with which eat “eyes“, etc. is added to snack devices. Software maintenance - French: dishes prepare on a type of guests near a table; in English: dishes carry and waiters display; in Russian: everything ordered together with pies - on a table! At lessons of a foreign language learned “the short culinary characteristic of dishes“ and, in the form of performances, dialogues, dialogues, dialogues! By the same technique I studied Hebrew. Some classes were given at restaurants where trained in technology of giving of dishes, and we ate then all this! The dry spoon of companies tears up: one of us it is reserved ordered from the waiter alcohol which for conspiracy was brought in a coffee pot or in a jug with lemon segments - company drink! When teachers guessed, we began to leave in turn, allegedly, on need - to the bar!

Examination in English. In the performance “Dinner Party“ - three excellent students. Guests, the bartender, the headwaiter and the waiter, changing roles, read according to my scenario. “Incurred“ me - began to improvise! One of honors pupils, without having found in the text of these words - burst into tears! Not at once reached me: we play “A festive dinner“ and she - is afflicted!? It nearly turned into aggression and it was necessary to improve situation quickly!

In winter months we decided to issue the wall newspaper of “Service“. Keeping up to date, on the first column there were our sotsobyazatelstvo against a red banner with the known profile: “We promise to study only on “3“ and “4“! In the second column there were recipes of house specialties of restaurants from where we were directed. In the third - humour and jokes! From the waiter`s instruction: came to work - sit down and work; if from the visitor there is nothing to take - follow an example of him. The newspaper - was forbidden!

The waiter for change passes about forty kilometers and transfers up to two tons! To you hard, and you - do not show! The tray inclined - dropped, poured, broke! And not the - and others - expensive! If never worked as the waiter - it is necessary to train: put weights on the tray which is carried away from the dining room and in the evening along corridors of the hostel made maneuvers. My practice took place in the best restaurant - “Russia“ my tables as young and naive, “women of easy virtue“ very much loved And what order at them!? Bottle dry, on a salatika and the phrase “Place to us somebody, and we to you for it will write down gratitude in the Book“ (all book of complaints was used up by them!) It is necessary to the waiter the plan to carry out on commodity turnover is its salary. At all guests walk “to the full extent“ and I am a free souteneur! The headwaiter, with strong Volga accent grumbles: “Why - that They only at your tables! THAT you are “Russia“ - you dishonor that!?“

of the Habit of frequenters: in clothes will not take a check, will not touch the menu, the account, without checking, will crumple and will throw out. One of such, the colonel of aircraft, liked to have supper only at my table. Before its arrival to the refrigerator vodka that “with a tear“ and salad according to its recipe prepared was put: pickles, green peas, onions and vegetable oil. He loved meat underdone, “with blood“. “An award to the waiter for good work“ - so we called the company from the Military commissar, his deputy and daddy screening the sonny from army. These two officers - the bull, already passed not one such banquet, drank a half of contents of buffet! And their words muffled an orchestra: “You do not say so!? We never did it! You us, daddy, in a crime do not involve!“ - “The Waiter! Still bottle of Armenian!“

From the remains in bottles and on the general dishes, waiters gather for a dinner at the end of change. “From the general dish a hand!? And where your etiquette got to!?“ - “For change so... this etiquette! What at last can be taken and eaten on simple!“

From an old joke “About a food programme“: at us all country feeds Moscow and Leningrad. - And what eat the others??? - They are fed by dining-cars.

Already not so often broadcast “The swan lake“, but did not cut down socialism weed yet - grapes when one Department distributed to employees free children`s permits. Not on the Fir-tree in a recreation center and not on Creativity of Pioneers, Young in the House, and on excursion - “Ten days across the Crimea“! There children went by plane, and back, unfortunately - train. From the telegram in a dining-car: “To receive in addition products food of children“ Brought that asked: semolina, powdered milk, etc. And it is obligatory: egg, kissel a concentrate and cocoa - that at children the chair did not fall apart! As “production need“, in a dining-car was a powerful audio equipment. “Why it is so expensive? - For music!“ Estrada, the Gipsy, Caucasian and criminal records perfectly supplemented that cooks did not report in plates. Motto of kitchen: “There is less meat - is more rare in toilets! We are hospital attendants of the railroads!“ Article 156 UK RSFSR served as the slogan: “In prison too cooks are necessary!“ The group of children enters a dining-car. Seniors! “Foreigners, perhaps?“ - the washerwoman quietly asked. Expensive Japanese equipment, clothes and footwear - from Vneshposyltorga hangs on everyone! At school students on hands of “Orient“ or “Rolex“ At schoolgirls in ears and on fingers - on several carat! Here not cream of wheat is necessary, and sturgeon and caviar and not “overseas“! Therefore as took seat, it was visible: are not accustomed to a public catering. If the waiter not the psychologist, then he - “the waiter of plates“ Remarks from the hall, as they say, were “on public“: “Something in solyanka of meat is not enough!“ - “What exit of this dish?“ - “To drip on this beefsteak iodine to define availability of carbohydrates!“ - “At stations is on sale “from our plates?“ The parental educational program surpassed the Person and Law broadcast! “Would look at first at themselves, and it will be visible: who steals more!“ - the washerwoman told me. “Who what studied as“ - laughed the matter off I.

Pleasant aroma of the French toilet water and expensive cigarettes in a director`s office of the enterprise, sharply spoiled a smell of a domestic valerian. The boss fastidiously threw a sheet of paper.

“Reputable newspaper editorial office “Smena“, Komsomol members of the hero town of Leningrad write you. We, pupils of one of schools, coming back from excursion on corners of our Homeland, had imprudence to have dinner in a dining-car. The group of workers spoiled to us impressions of a trip, worsened health and pomotat nerves. As future generation of our country, we ask: till what time this disgrace and what are taken measures will proceed? We wait for the answer“ from

the Chief made several deep sighs and blurted out: “Explanatory!“ Having come into the next institution, we took adrenaline. After its acceptance inside, me incurred. I dictate, with selection of synonyms individually to everyone.

“During a lunch the group of children told us about the unforgettable impressions of excursion, interrupting each other and showing the cockleshells collected on the coast. Many of them for the first time saw the Black Sea and fruit on trees. Complaints to quality of food and claims to service were not. In the evening, probably, when teachers fell asleep, two school students and the schoolgirl came to a dining-car. They asked to sell them two bottles of port, three bottles of beer and a pack of cigarettes. Of course, politely refused to them. One of them with threat told: “We will suit it to you now!“

the Office of the managing director of trust, as well as the owner of an office, had a modest appearance: “and - la the sixtieth“. Instead of a habitual bust in such offices, three guests sat. The young man with a dictophone did not fit into an interior: “It is entrusted to me to react to the complaint of Komsomol members, to make journalistic investigation“ guests not together, and a semicircle Sat. “Cross-examination“ is told in narrow circles. The course was made by the man in a gray suit: “To us information on malicious and systematic violations of the rules of the Soviet Trade in workers of a dining-car, in which collective you work“, arrived Such fabric is on sale from a utility room of Voentorg on special permission: for tailoring of ceremonial regimentals of a komsostav. Its short hairstyle and martial bearing... I went other card: “For your investigation I will try to describe appearance of three school students, - and specially got up between the Journalist and the Commodity researcher - one young man on jeans had a picture: two horses break off jeans. Saw such for the first time and therefore remembered“ - “Levi Straus“ - “the middle-aged colored blonde accepted the sphere which is started up by me“. “No, there was only one foreign word“ - I dictated it the course. “Levi`s is reduced from Levi Straus“ - the Lady sat down on “fad“ - “My Edichka would never put on jeans of this firm! - the Lady Tovarovedu told. My card she will have nothing to cover now! “What had a picture on jeans with two horses, with dark hair, named another whether Eduard, whether Edward“ the Godfather made gesture the left hand, having shown hours. Did not doubt, hours - commander. Decided to look at time? Means - time is limited!

Having played in “drag out“ we dispersed. Having worked after this incident, years through five, I left and opened the firm.