It is possible to marry after 30? The story with value
Behind a window a rain, fall, at heart it is cloudy, as well as on the street. Somewhere in kitchen muttered radio. “To me soon 34, and I am not married yet. Work? Yes, work normal. Apartment?! Thank God! Car... There is no car yet, but unless in it business? The hell with her, with car, me...
Again phone calls. To approach or not to approach? Who it could be? Probably, Lenka. Yes, at it everything is all right: both husband, and children, and mother-in-law, and... All! Ceased to call“.
Light was by the window and watched through sliding on glass, as on the sledge, droplets.
“If I still did not marry, so I will not leave nikog...“
- you Will leave..., - suddenly killed a man`s voice of a broadcast. The word crashed into Svetlana`s thoughts with such force that she became puzzled.
“About what I?. - she tried to remember. There is foolish radio!“
-... in vain you so think..., - talking as - as if specially did not allow it to concentrate. - A marriage after thirty - it is normal for most of women of Europe and North America.
- Forgive, but we speak about our Russian girls. Why we have to pay all the time attention to how there, abroad? - the opponent was indignant.
- Well, I will answer your question, but for a start I would like to test you.
Tell, please, whom on the earth., no, - interrupted himself answering, - whom we in Russia have more, women or men?
- Women, of course, about it even in songs it is sung: “And at us here on ten little girls, statistically nine children!“
- Hm... I also expected such answer, and now the correct answer - men in Russia 65,7 million people counted, women - 76,3 million people, or is 16% more, than men. By data Rosstat of the Russian Federation (2008) .
- Well, here, that I told, - happy with the answer the woman was delighted.
- You are right, but only partly. It concerns to grandmothers and grandfathers. Excess of number of women over men begins after 28 years and with age increases. When to you 30 - 35, the difference is not big and makes only several percent. Here the sixty-year-old woman really has a rough time!
- If men, and women equally, then in what a problem? - the woman is surprised.
- In that everything also put that that there is no problem. There is an opinion, the stereotype is more right. There is a prejudice that after thirty it is difficult to marry, there are requirements to future spouse and they are much higher, than at girls to whom eighteen. Is...
- Postoyte, and it is possible in more detail about all this?
- Of course! For example, I will provide the list of widespread requirements which live in the hypothetical thirty-year-old bride. The thirty-year-old girl wants:
- that the gap aged between it and her elect was minimum;
- financial stability (security);
- high education level from
of the groom that it corresponded to its social status;
- had housing;
- that it had no addictions (the excessive use of alcohol, love to gamblings, etc.) .
By thirty years the woman becomes more legible if you want, more selfish, selective and exacting. She already achieved something in life and is not ready to connect with anyone the life. Judgments have it the finished appearance and, as a rule, are not subject to discussion. Such woman does not wish to cave in under the man. And if with the man some relations were entered, then they can quickly end as the woman just does not have patience to wait when he, at last, makes her the proposal.
- But the woman treats the man`s shortcomings much more tolerantly, than the man looks at shortcomings of women? - without wishing to agree with everything that will be told by the invited guest, the leader inserted.
- He agrees, and, in confirmation of it, I will add. There are, at least, three types, if I may say so, of thirty-year-old women who want in marriage: those who never were she is married, those which were also what have children. And in each situation of the relation between the man and the woman will be different.
- And here I, for example, have the child after second marriage and I want to marry what you will tell about my situation?
- I will tell that your chances are higher, than at that which was never married, but they are slightly lower, than at that which has no children.
- Thanks, you encouraged me! - the leader noted without special enthusiasm.
- Please, but my merit is not in it,
is a statistics. And so... forgive on what we stopped?
- That to thirty the woman becomes more selective in the choice of the husband.
-! And therefore we will return to the abroad. Despite everything, we slowly but surely follow in the footsteps of the European women. Unfortunately, the situation “to itself the husband“, is looked through also at us. In Soviet period of such concept as business - the lady, in relation to our women, was not, and now how many you want.
Someone does not consider it necessary to get married at all. “Ugly face? to the child, and the husband - the owner of pools! And why to me to support some gigolo if there is no worthy. I will bring up itself, and, sorry, for occupations by love, as - nibud I will find“.
According to Statupravleniya of the European Union, in 1997 every fourth citizen of Europe was born out of marriage. The leader - Iceland, do not lag behind - Sweden, Norway and Estonia.
Such phenomenon as the civil union, “trial“, “guest“ marriage is widespread.
In France only the fourth part of women till 35 years consists in the stamped marriage.
In the USA for a long time directly - marriages after thirty are cultivated. At us, if in eighteen not the wife, so “old maid“! Nonsense if not to tell - lightness. And at us do not marry, and jump out. Such couple of newlyweds of already elderly parents lives off and considers that all at them as it should be. And here with supporters what to couple - so family crisis! Here to happiness and the end, either divorce, or the tense relations.
For the woman in America the marriage after thirty practically is never connected with humiliations, insults and jealousy. The woman feels protected in every respect. She is not the girl without dowry and equal among equal.
She will not begin to suffer the husband`s tricks, humiliation of own advantage. The number of divorces decreases. If at youth practices - “yesterday met, today undersigned, tomorrow ran up“, then at adults everything fully, more solidly, more responsibly.
Usually before undersigning, Americans check the feelings for durability. “Check“ can last several years, but the result speaks for itself.
We like foreign experience or not - a minor matter, but what I told everything about, is also at us. There is a sense to discuss it to come to the level of the state ideology in questions of a family and marriage.
And absolutely pleasant statistics - average age of marriage in the large cities of Russia makes about 30 years now.
Classics - to marry, give birth to children, to live in love and a consent long, long, and then to die in one day - no more than a wish to itself.
- And, nevertheless, - the leader puts, - what else useful you can tell those thirty-year-old women,
which want this classics?
- I would advise lovely ladies not to hang up evening dresses deeply in clothes;
- looking in a mirror, to rejoice and speak to itself “what I am beautiful!“;
- not to hurry with conclusions concerning the man with whom there is a contact;
- to learn to understand men. To remember that the man too the person and he can have interests. Not to “build“ the man, not to pay constantly his attention that at it hair, soccer - a favourite sport of davibok, etc. stick out of a nose;
- to continue searches if you are still lonely, by
(the Internet, courses, acquaintances of girlfriends);
- to bury fear of loneliness.
- Sorry, professor, here about fears it is possible a little in more detail. My friend wants to marry. To it thirty three, but she with horror thinks of how she will give birth, can be it under forty by then!
- Excellent turn. Fears! Or rather, horror stories, pugalka, shmarik - koshmarik! Many women consider that after thirty it is difficult to take out and give birth to the healthy kid.
The first, fears should not be, but also you should not relax. Really in Europe and the USA 30-35 - it is the best age for the birth of the first child. Material welfare is reached, till an old age still oh how far, life expectancy increases.
Personally I consider that America and Europe to us not the decree. In - the first, the young organism is stronger. We speak with you about the first child. In - the second, medicine there 10 times more, than at us.
The fact that somewhere there people are torn, rush about, try to achieve material success - is laudable. Ideal option when the man to whom for thirty, already got a mammoth it was necessary only to divide a carcass
between it and his young spouse.
Biologically the woman is programmed so that the most favorable period for the first pregnancy is an age from 18 to 24 years. First labor after 30 - ti years - it is serious, but is not deadly. What the woman needs to know?
At a modern level of development of obstetrics each woman can give birth to the healthy child at this age, and this age is not contraindication to childbirth. Only, it is more chances to receive complications at such woman.
There is also a difference of childbirth to 30 - ti years and later.
The matter is that a structure of a pelvic bottom at eighteen-year-old and thirty-year-old women strongly differ from each other. At the first - high percent of elastichesky fibers, and at the second - the same fibers are replaced with more dense and less pliable collagenic.
It follows from this that after the delivery the woman needs to treat more seriously the appearance, by the period of restoration of an organism.
As for the question “give birth or not give birth“. That the answer is unambiguous, out of any doubts - to give birth!
- Time of our transfer comes to an end, and finally I want to ask you a question: “Extra kilos, wrong lines, forms, zigzags, bends... What is seen by the thirty-year-old woman in a mirror and what she wants to see?
- You mean plastic surgery and how change of shapes of a body is capable to influence finding of family happiness?
- I also wanted to ask it.
- It is all about contents, but not in appearance. We often look for simple ways in the solution of complex challenges. To marry and so that forever! I will increase a breast and the husband in a pocket! Is not present
- it is not a solution.
By the way, I as the man, I do not recognize silicone women. The Russian man is visual not only, to him, excuse for the rough word, it is necessary to feel goods.
However I do not reject fruits of scientific and technical progress. Plastic surgery - it is very healthy and fine, the main thing not to go too far and in time. Michael Jackson a good example of the fact that the soul illness means.
When the eighteen-year-old girl wants to be similar to the American aunt - Motya - I feel frankly sorry for such girl!
- You regret the old woman better, professor is lousy! - Svetlana did not sustain and cut down radio.
It pressed a finger on a button, the system unit zaurchat, on the black monitor spread white bukvenno - tsiferny small insects. Svetlana decided to see mail, and at the same time to polazit on is NOT PRESENT. It found what interested her and plunged into reading someone else`s answers.
The Internet - a question: “In marriage! After 30?“
- Me 37. A year ago I the second time married. When I met men, I precisely knew what should not be my
Having got over to darling in “tent“, I was absolutely independent. I had the apartment, I worked and could provide myself completely.
The truth I went to living with his mother, but the saved-up life experience allowed me to take a worthy position in the relations with the mother-in-law. I let know at once that mentor tone with me is inappropriate.
But that the most important, I realized that the family is not an infinite fiesta.
- I am forty three years old. We lived with the husband five years and everything at us is good. And there were I beyond it when to me there were 38. Before I was not married and, I admit, gave myself up as a bad job.
When I decided to go beyond it or not, weighed all pros and cons. Whether I loved? I do not know. Thought of how I with it will live? There was a sober calculation, trust to this person rather. At the same time I neither then, nor do not limit now freedom of the spouse. I consider it superfluous. If someone wants to deceive someone, he is always able to do it. To employ the detective that that followed the husband on heels, I consider below the advantage!
- My relatives are sure that my life did not develop only because I am not married yet. I am an unlucky person, and in wives I will be taken by the same loser. Certainly. If to make marriage end in itself. How many to you was years, it is impossible to put the life into a complete dependence on a stamp in the passport. He does not guarantee personal happiness. By the way, to the CEO of our distribution network 38 and he is not married yet. Loser? - Yulia 29 - ti writes years.
- I married when also to me, and the spouse was for thirty. I do not see in it any problem. I have many unmarried, single friends, and nobody considers the situation as accident. For the woman the main thing that she did not lower a hand, did not despair and looked after herself. On the well-groomed and self-assured woman there will always be a person interested. Alexey, 34.
And here Svetlana understood that, actually, to marry - not a problem how many to you was. The question is in what requirements we impose on the man that we can give and in general what we expect from marriage. Marriage is not a castle in the air where all in pink paints. To divide it together both bitterness and a victory, and offense and pleasure.