How to win against the mother-in-law? Part 1. The type of the opponent
does not need to be spoken About need of this event. There are a lot of examples - my mother, and at the same time, and marriage of my parents lost in this obviously unequal fight. Marriage of the girlfriend goes to pieces because, having quarreled and having stopped the relations with the mother-in-law, she actually became the grass widow: the husband started anew to run to have breakfast to mother, then to have supper. At mother it is constantly waited by clean clothes and change of linen. As a result my friend wages war “Now how to return the husband to a family“.
As for in general need of war, often military operations are opened by the mother-in-law, leaving you without the choice. Therefore it is necessary to solve: life in deaf defense, continuous military operations, capitulation, the patched-up peace which is occasionally broken by kind quarrels or a clear, brilliant victory over the mother-in-law. What I to you also suggest to make.
By the way whether you noticed that among scatterings of collections of jokes on counters of book trays there is no collection with jokes about the mother-in-law? That there the collection - me in life did not happen also one joke about the mother-in-law to hear. What, in my opinion, proves two things:
1. All jokes think out men. And who will compose jokes about own mother? Abundance of jokes about the mother-in-law - only confirmation of this thought. Meanwhile, the mother-in-law is almost not capable to destroy marriage, somehow it is notable to make the life miserable of the son-in-law. Whereas it is not even enough - malsk the newly-baked and beginning mother-in-law armed only with the phrase “At me are the ideal son“, can create at least panic in the opponent`s entrenchments, at most - to destroy marriage of the son and to spoil life to the daughter-in-law.
2. If I sometime gather also all - I will publish own collection of jokes about the mother-in-law - I will become rich.
For a start we will consider types of mothers-in-law. Ideal husband options - the orphan or the mother-in-law who is living on other continent and monthly sending financial support to a young family in dollars I do not consider. The first and, perhaps, the main criterion (was about to add “at the choice of the mother-in-law“) when determining like mother-in-law are, strangely enough, her size. That is literally growth and weight. All the rest when determining an exterior of the mother-in-law - education, an origin, financial position and situation in society - like mother-in-law are not of great importance for definition.
And it is correct to define a type is the key to success! You will not scorch from a gun on sparrows, as well as there is no sense to shoot from a shot-gun at an elephant. I give an example about the weapon, certainly, figurative, in fight against the mother-in-law your weapon - intelligence and sense of humour. Plus is required talent of the actress, at least in embryo.
So: classification of mothers-in-law by the size. Imagine the chart, like those which on the back packings from tights. It is advisable to issue in industrial production such small plate, for determination of the size of the mother-in-law, and all girls from 18 years to oblige to carry it with itself. How many marriages the similar thing would keep, and, above all - prevented!
Type No. 1: small in both parametersthe small doggie till an old age a puppy“ is ideally suited for
under a saying “. Other saying also is related to it: “Little women are created for love, little men - for laughter“. I do not want to offend low men, the speech in general now not about them at all. Small mothers-in-law are mild, talkative, persuasive and ingenuous. Their diminutiveness - pledge of the fact that in the life they achieved everything not by the force, but mind and cunning.
Military operations from its party will look as persuasive repetition of any nonsenses in hope to provoke you to frank aggression. Or the increased care of the son that again - will provoke revolt of you. Such influence is similar to a sound of a drill of the stomatologist in the next office - and not to you teeth drill, and something is uneasy.
Understand at once: if you are higher growth, than the mother-in-law though on centimeter - will struggle with you. If, God forbid, below - you are tried to be taken under the aegis (like “Oh, Thumbelina“!) and to begin to teach life. There isn`t much choice.
Type No. 2: low growth, but with an excess weightMilitary operations from its party can be expressed to
in the criticism you stated personally to you in eyes or transmitted through your husband. Further the criticism of your ways of feeding and education of children therefore process cannot be started will be put to use. This type of mothers-in-law in perfection is able to pretend to be simple as three rubles.
Type No. 3: high growth, without excess weightThese
in general other-wordly, fights will not be. They on the road from a nirvana for work will also not notice that the son married.
Military operations from its party: can be expressed that such mother requires the increased care and attention from the son, such girl - the overage. She is so helpless and is not able to care for herself that you feel like the vandal who is throwing out on a garbage can a shchenochka. Attention, do not give in! Time to break this mutual Oedipus complex and to firmly place everything in places came. Eyes of a fallow deer and circumstance should not confuse you (mother spends all money for cosmetics therefore a year does not pay for the apartment).
Type No. 4. Heavy artillery
As madam Gritsatsuyeva, I quote: “Here everything was - water-melon breasts, a nose a butt“. Everything is all right - growth, weight. Most often and a position like teacher of the senior classes, that is the mentality trained to entry into a cage with lions. Perfectly prepares and first will even graciously be engaged in your education as Malvina was engaged in Buratino. Will come to an end approximately in the same: yes, you will be locked in a dark closet with spiders. In literal and figurative sense.
Therefore it is necessary to stock up with Corvalol and honey at once. Corvalol - for stabilization of nervous system, honey - for sweet in a voice. Only it also you will get at them. At once I warn - such mothers-in-law devils, but not women, it is necessary to sweat here. The most difficult option. And the most sad - to sweat - that happens not from - for what, judge whom similar bulky imperious mummy can bring up? The mother`s sonny with the broken mentality.
Military operations from its party: active in all directions. This woman conducts massive bombings of your family center, and, itself plainly without understanding why. Probably, a habit to fight at it in blood. The situation is complicated that your husband - her son - capitulated long ago, and you hold the fort. She lives at you in the one-room apartment for months, disposes of the husband`s salary, criticizes your children. You keep, not all is lost, especially the victory over it will be impressive.
Type No. 5: growth and weight correspond to average parameters of the woman of fifty years
Here surprises therefore new parameters are used can trap: presence of the husband and other children. Why it is important at this stage, I explain: the husband and children pass as the distracting factors on which nerves and strengths of the mother-in-law therefore you in safety in the presence of those leave. If carries - the husband at it will be an alcoholic, the daughter - is not married, the full house of dogs, cats and grandsons. It will be simple to it to arrange once to you dark therefore it is possible to relax and sympathize with it. Or even to help.
Military operations from its party: unpredictable. It in general can accept you in a family as the only and long-awaited daughter. And can refuse to communicate with you, and even the birth of the grandson will not force it to accept you.
The list is not exhaustive, however giving an idea of variety of types. What to do with the mother-in-law after you defined her type - read in continuation.