How to cope with itself? As often you tell
to yourself: “it is a little more, and will tear me on part!“, “long it cannot proceed!“, “when it will come to an end?!“, “why around one freaks?!“
of Emotion accumulate and collect, forming our constant mood, and then behavior and character. What it will become in about 10 years? Horror! What to fall a victim of our uneasy, hard time? To reconcile to prospect to become the bore, the grumbler, the neurasthenic or the hysteric woman? Well is not present! Not emotions control us, and we are them. And only we are free to choose what emotion to experience at this or that moment.
Here several methods of management of emotions:
1. Refreyming or redefinition of a situation , i.e. giving of a situation of other sense. Every time when to us there is an unpleasant situation or something negative, at least three times we do a refreyming, i.e. we find three positive consequences which can be taken from this situation.
For example: “The chief just made even today my project to asphalt!“
Z options of a refreyming:
• All right. Now I know weaknesses of the project, and I will be able to modify it prior to realization.
• For certain at me high resistance to stress, time I could frostily and without emotions to listen to his critic.
• I have a good chief, he is not indifferent to my work and is ready to spend the time for an assessment of my activity.
2. Modeling or change of the repeating stressful situation so that our shortcoming causing it was most maleficiated or became less significant.
Example. The sales manager - the introvert - considers that he badly developed abilities to communication. Uncertainty in itself and weak motivation turn telephone negotiations into real torment. What to do? As option to transfer part of negotiations to e-mail. It is so possible to feel much more comfortably and more surely.
3. Accurate definition of reference (significant) group of people whose point of view matters for us (professional, personal, emotional), and we do not perceive opinion of the others into the account.
Ya I go on office, and the cleaner unflatteringly responds about we wash appearance. How to treat it? The aunt Galya, certainly, the good expert - in the business, but in questions of fashion, judging by its galoshes, not the expert, … and concerning an official style in clothes does not enter my reference group. Hee - hi. I go further.
4. Positive spirit. the Thought, as we know, is material, and ourselves program ourselves on this or that result. It is important to define for itself what result it will be: prize or loss.
Examples of a negative and positive spirit of the sales manager on “cold“ calls:
“-“ “Here, I will begin to call, and I will be sent again or will get nasty … I do not want it to hear …“. And calls are postponed and postponed because the manager does not want to endure them the thought-up tragic scenario at all.
“+“ “So! I have a list from 30 companies which not still work with us. Among them precisely there will be a two-three which will interestingly our offer“. Or “Ooooo as I was lucky with ABS firm today, I will call - I a couple of the companies on a letter “A“, it precisely happy today!“. Such here internal dialogue helps managers to do up to 30 calls a day!
And now three situations for your training.
1. Negotiations on the order with the constant, but “difficult“ client who always “freezes“ discounts are coming you and in the course of the transaction all the time changes terms of the contract (delivery time, the number of names, etc.). What of the listed ways you can warn a stress from communication with such person?
2. Your son (or the daughter) prepares for performance in school theater, at the same time awfully is afraid that he for fear will forget all words. Than you can help the child?
3. Your acquaintance - the young employee of department of work with personnel. It in a stressful state because tomorrow she needs to tell 20 employees that they are dismissed. What way of a self-spirit and an exit from a stress you would offer it?