Indifference... It is the diagnosis?
Indifferent relation... Indifference... What is it? From where it undertakes in people? And if the indifference is a diagnosis, then than to treat him?
Recently indifference - the habitual word. We often hear about it on television, on radio. It soars in air on the street. All are afraid of it, and facing it, do not learn.
Because the indifference is not the huge uncle with the blood-stained axe in hands and not the shahid - the suicide bomber with explosive on a belt, and the little gray man who sits in a corner and reads quietly the newspaper at that time while the uncle with the shahid are active. He sits and hopes that it will not be noticed, waits that the kind militiaman will come and will arrest all that everything will do also without it, and he in vain will only get up … It will always have a logical explanation for the inaction. Eventually, it did nothing … it.
But whether so it actually? What is felt by the person who was influenced indifference? It methodically kills all live in the person, all feelings including hope. At the same time it as if and at anything. On that it and indifference. Any responsibility. Any regret. And to blame him there is nothing, it made nothing. As it is convenient..., as small...
Speak, the indifference is descended. The indifference is similar to cowardice and meanness. It will never respond on others pain. Just will not hear.
The indifference is a callousness and insolvency of human soul. As a rule, indifferent people do not recognize themselves those, moreover, some of them absolutely seriously consider themselves as romantics. Ridiculously... By definition, romanticism is the feelings and emotion ennobling the person, it “is characterized by the image of strong passions“. If it is simpler to speak, then romanticism is a true love, devoted friendship... So the indifference and romanticism are incompatible.
I would carry indifferent, on the contrary, to pragmatists rather. But also it is difficult. Because they - any, as common as dirt, neither fish nor fowl, fresh and tasteless. Sometimes widely-read. And even quite emotionally can retell what was read or heard. But you begin to understand soon what contains in these statements a little personal relation, and you lose interest.
The indifference always masks. Masks under various human feelings. It deceives. And itself believes in the deception. And therefore it can be distinguished not at once. And it is dangerous by that. Deception and disappointment hurt.
Indifferent people are semi-people, the nedochelovek standing on lower step of human evolution. And inherently, it is terrible people because they do not have all feelings, except hunger, cold and convenience. Indifference, per se, cruelly. It destroys love, kills faith in people.
Bruno Yasensky (1901 - 1938), the remarkable Polish and Russian writer shot in the thirty eighth year in the novel “Plot of Indifferent“ wrote very correct words:
“Be not afraid of the friends - at worst they can betray you, be not afraid of the enemies - at worst they can kill you, be afraid indifferent - only from their acquiescence happen on Earth of treachery and murder“.
Not less eloquently A. P. Chekhov spoke in this respect: “The indifference is paralysis of soul, premature death.“
However all aforesaid - lyrics, emotions. Someone, perhaps, will apprehend it into the account and will be indignant that is already quite good. And if analyses, then it is absolutely good.
Because our medal has also a reverse side. And on that party the indifference does not seem such defect any more. The indifference can be manifestation, so-called, of an aleksitimiya - states though not infectious, but quite persuasive and unhealthy.
The people suffering from an aleksitimiya are not capable to understand and understand own feelings and experiences and therefore, as a result, emotions of other people are alien to them. The compassion is alien to them, the empathy is alien and pity is alien. They lack intuition and imagination. The identity of such people, quoting psychology, “it is characterized by primitiveness of a vital orientation, infantilism and that is especially essential, insufficiency of function of a reflection“.
For reference. the Reflection is an appeal to the inner world, to the experience, an opportunity to comprehend own actions and their motivation, ability to understand that you feel and why you feel.
Further the term of an aleksitimiya is specified: “Set of the listed qualities leads to an excessive pragmatism, impossibility of complete representation of own life, deficiency of the creative attitude towards her, and also difficulties and the conflicts in the interpersonal relations.“ it reminds nothing
The origin of an aleksitimiya happens a miscellaneous. This phenomenon can have congenital character. As, for example, steady quality of the identity of the person. And can have acquired, i.e. temporary, character. Post-traumatic reaction, a state owing to the endured stress, a long depression as protective reaction of an organism to aggression of the outside world can be an example.
As one of the reasons the lack of heat, caress, participation in education of the personality since the early childhood can act. Statistically, most of indifferent people in the childhood received less maternal love and attention. Often parents instead of asking the child on what he feels and worries, not only do not pay attention to it (in other words, remain indifferent), but also teach the child to hide the feelings. Here so just at the healthy child the aleksitimiya which will deprive of him many human pleasures subsequently can develop, including pleasures to love and be darling.
Certainly, I mentioned not all symptoms and manifestations of an aleksitimiya especially as its weight can be various. Someone sees in it an illness, a mental disorder, someone - a certain psychological warehouse of the identity of the person. But the purpose of this article not an aleksitimiya, per se, and an essence of human indifference …
In this regard I want to notice that not each indifferent person is struck with an aleksitimiya. Many indifferent people just pretend to be those or are people sincerely - lazy which perfectly realize a situation, make thrifty use of own feelings, but try not to spend forces for another, even close, the person once again. And it is already cruel.
To check existence of true indifference, or an aleksitimiya, is helped by the Torontsky aleksitimichesky scale (TAS) - the special test consisting of 26 points. Who became interested, will easily find it in a network.
As for treatment of indifference, then anything consolatory. Scientists unanimously claim that the indifference is not treated. However, some optimists advise to apply sympathy.
And in this regard it is necessary to recognize that the indifference is worthy pity because life paints are inaccessible to indifferent people. They are not capable to worry and are not capable to rejoice. They are not capable to love. And therefore too nobody loves them. They are doomed to loneliness. It is a barren flower. They have no wings...
And to them it, however, all the same...